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Been there done that !
    First let Me say whats screwed about the system , They just seem to believe all this crap , But here's what happened to Me, NOTHING  really came up in any of the evals that was of most importance , None of this crap really made a bit of difference at trial , I got EOW and every Thursday after school and summer vacation ,
 What came of the whole thing is this , Mom Made allegations , And I eventually reacted to some of this crap , Then It was like well now I was provoked and now I did something , And the fingers got pointed etc ,So EXCEPT for my reaction to this crap NOTHING came of it !!, I was told from the beginning let her do all the crap, and you keep your nose clean , And I am telling you this . Keep your nose clean , Don't even ever let the kids  Hear You say something bad about mom , Look at it like this If the kids are talked to By the Guardian ad Litem , If they do that In Cali, And the Kids say Mom hates Dad , And Dad say's good things about Mom , Then then You look good , If they say some thing else You look stupid , If she pulls all this crap And you keep cool . And It turns out that nothing checks out then she will look reaaaaalllyy bad , And the courts do no like a hoax , You have to remember , At trial The judge or commissioner hears the whole thing , If The Judge hears , Blah Blah, Mom did this Dad accused mom of XYZ . And it didn't check out , And Mom accused Dad of ABC and it did not check out then the judge can't decipher much and you will get visits , But if the judge Figures out Mom has put a big hoaxe to the court , then the judge won't like it , But if like me ,you react and some one documents , like an evaluater , or GAL then again the judge hears BLAH BLAH ,Dad reacted and its conflict, think of Imagine yourself to be the judge ,  How could it be decipphered who came first the chicken or the egg, KEEP your side clean ,
 Now about the evals , Remmember I took them and I can tell you If you admit to ever doing any thing bad. The evaluater will ask more questions , If you talk a bunch of crap about mom then She will have a chance to try to Lie more , I'm Telling you, go to it thinking this is an evaluation Of you And your mental health ,  Before you go , Write out every good thing that ever happened as a child as an adult , And A cute story about what goes on with you and your kids and tell how you love the little dears , And want more time with them . That is a good report , I got a good report in some aspects , But, YOU ARE OUT OF THE CONTROL OF THE EVALUATERS OPINION AFTER YOU LEAVE !!!!!!!!!
So Get those good stories straight , Don't give them any thing to even think negative ,  An example is , I talked about a bad occurence from child hood , and the evaluater was a wierdo [WIERDO!!!!!]  And comentated as if that crap happened yesterday , Never saying that It was twenty years ago , AGAIN!!! Don't even lead the interview to any bad or negative direction , You HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME , And if You  Say any thing bad some of that time will be spent on that < YOU ARE A GOOD BOY , And don't forget the most important thing I learned , THEY ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU TELL THEM !!!  The mother told them a bunch of pure bull shit , And they only know that she told them she has a perfect balanced life , Goes to the gym has hobbies , She lied her ass off and they believed it ,So click through this site And find the section on psych evals, and dealing with evaluaters , And read it three times over , No one is perfect But  I feel that You are dealling with the side of society that thinks if your not a calm well adjusted person you should be on prozac,     You are calm, grasshopper , The psycho In my case said she had a perfect life and Ideal child hood , She was molested etc felt like a loser , Doesn't socialise well , But she made it sound like she had a perfect life and she just wanted the discomfort of me the  bad person to get over with , And the freaking evaluater wrote all that crap down , So I advise say some shit like that , DON'T slam the Mother , Just say how good life is and this is like a nuisance how she is being so mean making up all these stories , And You, MR perfect Just so innocently want life to be readjusted to your normal level Of balance and social activity . I partly screwed up My psych evals and it can be avoided if you just talk about the good things , They will ask about the bad , Say ya skipped school one or something and leave it at that ,
 

You need to interview a number of atty's , You will find some one that is knowledgeable and capable to help. Only from the scuttle I have heard while at My atty's office , I believe that You need to go file for custody , Where Juridiction is , Or just go to the place where your son is and file an ex parte order Saying you get custody , What I do know is that You have a few problems ,  One will be fileing in the proper jurisdiction , The other locating your son , The next will be getting the court to believe your story , Usually there is   a Guardian Ad Litem Appointed , And the Guardian ad Litem Will have to be the one that reports to the court , the Judge won't be likely to Just believe your story .  So there will have to be a court date , Mom or the persion with custody will have to be served with the right papers ,She will have the oppurtunity to show Up at court , And Her custody filing should be public record  And have her address on it , when I suggest several things that I have read and seen happen ,  I will keep it to the point , Call these people or go there and ask for low cost legal help ,With pen and paper in hand always ,
    Try going to child support [Wash state] they have low cost legal help Pamphlets ask for them In your state . Call every number ask, be patient
   
 Go or call the court and ask if there is a night when atty's help people pro se ,
  Or a list of atty;s that help people with  low income
 
 Call the BAR association in you state ask for low cost atty's . or pro se / pro bono Help

Call Child protective services , If you really believe Your son is in danger  , And ask what they can do ,
 
  Go get your son and bring him back , I suggest asking an atty , they won't be likely to Advise this . But If You have good reasons to believe that your son is in danger ,, There is a fine line between negligence on your part , And Gettting your self in trouble ,


 Finally there is so much BS that goes on in child custody cases that You have Document every piece of evidence You can , That really means police reports , What ever is proof , You Need real legal advice , I'm just giving you Ideas ,the court will have to see pretty good evidance to do what you want them to , But then again if you file for custody and or a parenting plan and it gets filed then You have legal recourse for her taking the child away with out notification . This about the Uniform Child Custody act ,. l It say's there must be a parenting plan ,It states that the moving parent must give notice of where they are moving by court order ,You need to get an order filed so you can proceed with contempt for her leaving the area and not giving a forward address. I really hope this gives you some good Ideas , I admit I know very little about Your problem , But I do know in order for you to get any legal advantage there at least needs to be  Parenting plan filed and accepted by the court ,you need legal advice
   

In Washington state the courts generally order supervised visits , if there are allegations ,Period , If you don't go along with it , you don't get visits , the supervisers report to the Guardian ad Litem , And this goes back to the judge , Its just the process , It feels wierd , But I got all favorable info And it turned out to be good , As I was told by My atty . Make a favorable impressions , I was also ordered to go to counseling with the mother , I also made sure I got a favorable report that helped , There is no such presumed guilt , And this is just the courts way of looking into these matters and covering there ass , As was explained By My atty , The judge doesn't want the local news up there ass because they let some one see there kids that was an ax murderer , Or pervert , So the judge wants to make sure you are functional enough to jump the hoops , Just think of the judges position , What are there options , They have to watch out for the kids , My atty went on to ask Me . " who is the most important person to the judge in this case "?  Well Duh ?? (its the judge) SO "If they order supervised visits and get a good report ,Then they have these reports to fall back on " So I had a very nice atty that explained all this to me , And I understand this is just the process period , And the Judge ain't takeing the heat . I went through the whole damn thing. Supervised visits , Co parent counseling , Polygraph tests , psych evals , Anger management evals , Blah blah blah , want to know what I think is the real trick , ? Don't react to any of this, just be nice any play along and act like a nice boy scout , If we as men react to all this crap then we get hammered , I did !! And got hammered , But I also had other favorable reports .  So it all got straightened out , And I have regualar visits, Ya just don't give up. And don't react !!  
   

Similar things happened too Me , SO far it aLL SOUNDS GOOD ON yOUR PART  , My case there was a parenting evaluater , And that evaluater was a piece of crap , She is no longer working as an evaluater , Here's My two cents though , Now that You are clear on the allegations , Your atty should Be setting a court date ,Ask Him About it , At first for the short term you go before a commissioner Here in was state , And get temp orders , They also appoint A Parenting investigater . Or Guardian ad Litem , Here In WASH , Ask Your atty about this , And tell him that You've been on the net and heard that the judge or commissioner Is unlikely to do any thing untill He gets a Report from one of these entities tell Your attyyou want to know if thats the way it is where you are at , Ask him to inform you of what the process is there , DO NOT GIVE UP!!!
 I went through similar crap ,And  the mom was telling My son That I was going to hurt him Before I got there to get him , Again. DO not give up , I was told to and did drag My son away crying kicking and screaming , I would get Him an Ice cream or candy , Then I would just bring him the candy and hand it too him right there in front of her , This will be likely to be her next trick , Don't fall for it take the kids and give them candy , And bring puppets toy's and A tape recorder . Record what they tell you when you leave . Always tape . Remmeber , You can't tape her. But You can Tape you and the kids . If they are in fear they will eventually ssay Mom told them some crap , Also remmeber under no circumstance do any thing or say any thing to the kids about this , I learned the hard way , , If they are interviewed they may say You told them Mom's a bitch or something , If She is talking bad about you then they will be likely to say that to the Guardian ad Litem , Say good things about mom to the Kids not matter how Hard it is , You have been through all the crapolla , Now ask your atty what the next step is , Don't be surprised if you get supervised visits at first , Just remmember this is your Time to show that you are a good parent bring appropiate things , Including snacks DiaPERS TOY'S OR WHAT EVER  !! Be a good boy scout and express Your interest Gently, show affection for   the kids and try as hard as it is to Concentrate on the kids , All this shit will come out in a report . It did with Me . Use the system to Your advantage , I did to a degree ,Looking back I could have really used the advice I am giving you , I'm telling you !! . Play this system to your advantage , Be nice to every one every where that is involved in this and be persistant , Take all this in stride , Two Years is a long time ,Mine went on for four , Take it as this , Give her the rope to hang herself , and be a good Boy scout to every one , If you react they seem to hang your ass for it . SORRY!!!
Ask your atty to get some visits set up and go along with the system . Ask you atty what to do get the papers filed and get some visits set up , Get a trial date set , Ask Your atty , Don't get sedentary , I sort of did , but then I said I WILL NOT GIVE UP ! I did not get custody , But play your cards right and you will find that false allegations of sexual abuse are abuse of the system . And sometimes can win you custody , My atty's ploy was in the law that  talked about BAD ACTS . theres a section on that , It did not win Me  custody But its all straightened out now and I get visits , Basically in the end the Judge said , If this comes back to me I will see who gets atty fees . My atty interpreted that as directed toward the mother , Tell your atty to set a date to get some visits going ,

Agreed ,with above post: I have been through the process , And I have [had] a good atty, that did have a father , client, that TOOK  a child from that sort of situation ,My atty said I could come watch him in trial , And My atty was a great cross examiner , And won the case and dad got custody , I agree with the post I responded to , However You always have to remmember , there are Many, Many, circumstances the make a case come out the way they do , And moms are favored period , You Do need to find out what the police juridiction is In your state , they have zero jurisdiction and generally do not show up for these type of cases and if they do, Here[ wash state ]I personally know a person that did not let the police in, and kept the kids ,And won , the police have no juridiction here ,
      An  atty won't generally tell you to take the child ,Unlees you believe the child is in danger , and that belief is sort of at your discretion ,  But , What I recommend is that You  go interview A few atty's And don't hire any atty that wants you to hire them right away , Do interview a few atty's . And when you do ask those atty's if they know any good atty's that you could also interview , And do ask them if they stand for fathers rights , If they stumble at all on that question move on, Read through this site , MY OPINION is hire an atty that tells you what the basic process is for your state , I did and it was a good decision , And thats an atty that just tells it like it is , Here for example the basic process is this ,
    The judge will do nothing in a custody case with out seeing a Guardian ad Litem report , Thats because a long time ago the courts realised that when two atty's go to court they are apposing each parent , and representing the paying parent , The court realized this is not fair to the child , So they started the Guardian ad Litem / parenting investigater program , So the basic idea is this GAL will report based on information they go out and obtain from both you and the other parent , they will interview people and visit you and her with the child , So now don;t think this is anything close to fair iether , They still are biassed toward the mother , But I will tell you my expierience with my case haveing had two GAL's appointed etc , First report was basic, the GAL talked to my witnesses , Her witnesses and checked for police reports , and visited me at my home , And put out a straight forward report that said mom gets custody and dad gets visits , Second GAL was a f/up and took sides and is so goofy that there has been numerous reports against her and I do not believe she is a GAL any more but her report went through , soooo Here is what I learned and you have to get it through Your head , The he said she said is old hat to these investigaters , Your best bet is to be a good parent and don;t do any thing against mom or talk too much crap about her , For the most part you need to show that You are a good parent , If Mom talks crap about you , thats actualy better , She is expressing bad will . Not too say, like if Mom pulls some crap that You don't want to contact the GAL , But be selective and you want what shows her to be a bad parent to be your point ,You also want to Make sure you show that you do things with your child , Have toys a bed a place made up for the child , , So heres the deal . If you get through the GAL part with a good report then , You did good and you have a chance , In My case I would have done much better not responding to Moms crap , It seems that Mom can pull some crap and thats sort of acceptable , BUT if you react then you suffer , If she pulls crap let her Just have a good atty and get good advice , I think you have a chance , If you get an atty that say's this is the process . You get a GAL then go to trial then you probably have a no nonsense atty , I know people that spent 30K My psycho spent 20 K Plus some , And her atty didn;'t really do crap , It was my mistakes that screwed me up for custody ,but the bottom line is this , Get an atty that shoots straight , And say;s he will charge 3 to 5 K ,Appoint a GAL and take mom to trial . Because as I explained thats the process and for good reasons , It doesn't sound like there is some huge issue here that needs the dream team atty's , If the GAL finds the things you say to be true she will report that to the court , I Believe that Based on Your schedule You will get a recomendation that say;s you get time with Your child when your Weekday schedule permits , Judges generally don't do stupid crap ,If you understand it like this , You are going to the judge because Moms being difficult and you now need the judge to order this schedule , THAT MAKES Sense , the judge will do it ! I have a friend that works swing shift and the judge ordered a schedule that works , This is not some wierd system . I believ most people screw up there own case , I did to a degree by Interacting in the BS , DON"T do IT , Just concenterate on being the BEST parent , Talk good about Mom to the kid , The best thing that could happen to you would be that the child tells the GAL Mom talks crap about Dad , And dad talks good about Mom , Yes Your child is too young to talk But My case was from an early age , And He began to talk and You don't want him saying the wrong things to the GAL , this can be a LONG ride , But the best  attitude you can have is , Its more time for Mom to screw up , And don't be the one to screw up ,Basically what You need right now is a court order for your visits , Mom is not going to cooperate , So you have to get a judge , or commissioner to order the visits , Thats really not too hard , ,, You just go file a proposed parenting plan to the court , If she disagrees , then You should have also filed a MOTION TO APPOINT GAL OR PARENTING INVESTIGATER ,
Thats it here in wash And some atty's charge a ton for that , Get an atty that just tells you what needs to be filed and doesn;t act like its a big tricky deal , And seems cool , And as the last note don't be surprised if you find that atty's , GALS or other wise in the court show indiferreance to all the stuff you say about Mom , They want the facts , Can you prove to the court she is a BAD parent or not ?And they want the GAL report . If you have proof you give it too the GAL , And let the GAL tell the court , And the GALS accept all kinds of stuff that the court doesn't , Like they accepted trumped up letters from people that I have never
seen , Or talked to , I am not sugesting any thing But , My psycho pulled that crap on me , I would not do that , But if You could get a legitimate testimony in letter form from a friend that has witnessed abuse of the child By mom I would give it to the GAL ,

If you feel your atty is doing his job I would not make an issue of it , I would just , tell Him that they will have to deal through attys , , The really wierd thing My atty told me the other day . I can send sruff to the apposing atty , But He , can't reply directly to me

I went through similar programing , But I have a boy so  She was telling him I was going to hurt Him etc, So I have really won this out , What I did is stay out of this with My Son And then Be reassuring and comforting etc , And DON'T TALK BAD ABOUT MOM TO THE KIDS  thats a big mistake , And don't ask too many questions , Mabe one or two in order to See if they say who told them that , My son told Me right away . Mommy said you are going to hurt me ! I feel the way I won out is to , Give him a piece of candy when she pulled this crap ,And always be reassuring , and talk good about his mom , Even if you just can say mommy is ok , and she say's those kind of things , But I love you And  I never hurt you ,    Later on He even said That He could see that I don't hurt him , I think that It started to back fire on her when I didn't engage the crap with him , And he Began to see who was the monster ! Believe Me be the loving reassuring parent that doesn't talk crap and Myson started to want to be with Me more because He said he feels good around me , And I know from expierience  , talking crapm makes the kids very uncomfortable , Don'ty do it on your end and you will fare much better , It's hard to foresee , But it will happen , I think you may want to ask if some one has done something too her with there pantys off Just in case there could be an issue there with some one else. tHIS IS THE AGE THE PSYCHOS KNOW THAT THEY CAN TELL KIDS ANY THING THEY WANT , Its sick But Just enjoy your time with the children

I didn't get if there was a home study done or not , Was there? secondly
  Here In wash state there is a basic process ,   It's so simple that You Wouldn't believe it ,
 When theres children involve You can go get a Guardian Ad Litem
   Its called    Order Appointing Guardian Ad Litem On behalf of Minor Children ,     This person Is appointed By the court as  a supposed representative of the children ,  the costs vary due the things that happen in the case , If you want the kids to live with you then tell the GAL why , What the mother has been doing , But don't get into complaining , Just the facts about her lack of stability and where the kids are now , I'm Not sure why You just don't go get the kids from Grandma , Ask Atty first , then keep them , If the atty goes along with it , Ask the atty about the Guardian ad Litems in Your state ,
   The reason Most states  Have the Guardians of minors appointed is because , Atty's are hired to represent the parents fighting over the children , And the childrens interest is SUPPOSED TO BE  reported by the GAL SOOOO, Now remmember the GAL Is not the sharpest tool in the shed iether , So The pertinant facts is all they need , If Your atty' say's there is a GAL program In your state , then ask why not appoint one ? And If Atty gives some reason not to then talk to few other atty's . In wash state its basically accepted that the judge won't do much with out a GAL report , The facts are , this The Judge did not go out and see what Is going on , They don't do that . In my case the basics were the GAL Looked at My house talked to Me and witnesses , then said MR XXX has A bed  toys and clothes etc for the child and he gets visits , In My case there was no real reason to have the kids come  with Me as apposed to staying with Mom , And the system is Biassed toward the mothers , And Your atty or most atty;svcan't do much to change that , The best way to win that battle is to get the GAL to think you are a Better parent , And Mom is Unstable , Or to report to the judge that Mom isn't stable , Soooo Tyhen you go to the judge . with the report at trial . Don't do any thing except mind your own buiseness and Be a good parent to the children , Keep your complaints about her to the point and the best thing believe it or notis to say a few things of good will about mom , If you express bad will then it looks bad in a report , The best report would be You express good will But Mom is unstable in her living situations , And want the GAL to find out what the living conditions are , and leave it up to the GAL to find out , And most important is to Make your house look prepared for the kids even if you have to get beds at the second hand store and a dresser for the kids to put there things in , And Make the trips to see the kids , It doesn't look to good if you don;t go see the kids ,  
            Hope this Helps

Interview a lot of atty's . And say You don't want it to cost a lot . Usually a divorce can be done for like 3 to 5 k . And thats what they should be saying ,It doesn't take a lot of money , I just filed for divorce with My current wife , And It costed Me 120$ to file , They charge you 3k just to start the action . I have learned from My previous custody case that this is really a matter of the papers being filed , There is no big factors here , There will be a division of property . And a child support order , And A parenting plan and every atty in town knows that they just make a bunch of money off people , All the hoopla big bucks bs is just that, Your money , Its unfortunate , But I just went through trial over my son And It was nothing big , You just go talk to the judge , One thing You Said ,I believe indicates that you are self employed , As A fellow man who has been through this . If I may be so bold as to insist , You need to immediatly start using a bookeeper , And Call the bookeeper and get them, Pay them to give a break down of your income and Show your net that they will testify to at trial ,It will look like this
     Tax form whatever
    Line 1 gross to buiseness
   Line 2 Adjusted gross
   Line 3 buiseness Expeniture
                    Supplies [Office paper]
                    supplies [machinery used for buiseness]
                    Employee pay roll
                    bookeeper
                    Auto
                    building rental
                     Net Income to Mr divorcee   Is exactly
   I have reviewed all reciepts and statements , I am a Certified Joe blow bookeeper and prepare taxes for . Mr divorcee, To report to the IRS
  The reason I show You this is because I got screwed , And this information Will clarify the tax statements . I cannot explain the tax statements , And screwed it up , So I hgad to have a trial to get it straightened out , And it will cost more to undo thatn to do it right , And sometimes temp orders Last for quite some time trials get delayed etc ,
   DO NOT EXPECT AN ATTY TO BE ABLE TO DO THE MATH ON A TAX FORM PERIOD
    I had to have  my bookeeper testify at trial  you will go for temp orders don't even try the temp orders with out being able to show how you arrive at a net from buiseness , If you get an atty that doesn't have good reasons to be fairly close to the net as explained by your bookeeper , Then get another one , Of course they will Have some different figures because you probably depreciate machinery or equipment etc .
     interview atty's there is not some big deal about a big bad divorce , Really you file and then fight over the kids and the money , In wash state they give the house automatically to the parent that gets the kids and thats usually the mother , Get use to it , It sort of makes sense , don't get all riled up Just file the papers and tell an atty what You think might matter and remmember , This is a legal issue Forget about All the emotion and get on with life , Its hard but I probably screwed up more worrying

I just go to the school for pick up any way and then I get a schedule , they usually last for like a month and I just pick it up ; there isn't that many events , soI just copy them into mY little pocket schedule,