Messages

and you have a private message~

Mist, you've been spouting that while the system is flawed it's not broken.
Now I read...
"There's nothing wrong with the system at all " in another post.

Make up your mind, okay?

Come on now Mist, you can't negate personal experience nor articles that reflect that. That is why boards like this exist. You can quote stats all you want but I really feel your stance on all this is quite harmful to folks looking for help. Most come to boards like this in desperation--your claims make it seem like there is no justification in that. You're hiding behind "I readily agreed that the system is imperfect..." and cannot see beyond that. It's insulting to see you write that folks are making things up, that their own experiences show nothing, that your "study" concludes that the system works more than not.........I strongly disagree and while I did find studies to prove you wrong, I agree with Waylon, you need to do your own legwork.
Your stance is just disturbing because folks come here looking for help. While you do answer posts and try to be helpful (although "ask your attorney" is a no-brainer...) you have to realize that many many folks are at the end of their ropes. If they read your posts, like these latest ones, they'd be inclined to think there was no hope. By your posts it would seem that you advocate for believing in this system and do nothing. Just go along with it because it works in most cases?
Again, I strongly disagree.
I feel you are doing more harm than good lately and if I was a newbie here, I'd definetely wonder why you are here? You obviously are happy with your custody and support orders. You obviously think the system is working. All things the folks on this board are not happy with.
Boy I wish someone would get POC back on here--I'm sure he'd have some stats for ya--
Please Mist, understand what this board is for--why folks are here. You are not helping anyone here when you argue with admin or posters. You have stated your opinion and there's no changing that. I am happy you have an ideal custody and support order. Most folks here do not or have fought tooth and nail to get what they have. You should show respect to the many that have been through the court trenches and have been members of this board for many many years.

I agree with Waylon--you should start your own board.

As always, thank you for all you do and have done here!

"... unlike simply making things up which seems to be advocated by a number of people here."

I'd like to know where that came from?


"A very large number of situations involve one parent with a very high income and the other parent working for quite low wages. Whether you want to blame the low wage parent or not, the child would see a huge drop in his/her standard of living under your scenario. I simply argued that it is not intrinsically fair for the child to suffer unnecessarily. You seem to disagree."

Blame for no one--every person has the same opportunity to "better" themselves. I'd like to see stats regarding a child suffering under a split custody agreement and no support exchanged. I'd also like to see stats regarding one parent having a VERY high income and the other one quite low and by what standards are we talking about here?


You have yet to understand that stats and studies are subjective and not real proof of anything. I, like many here, go by the experiences we've had and shared--you seem to negate that as no proof. I strongly disagree.
I'll say it again--you're defending a system that seems to be working for you right now. Watch what happens when you don't meet the criteria of this system.  

I pointed that out to Mist ages ago-stats can be slanted to provide "evidence" for anything. All depends on what you are looking for.
That being said, the "study" Mist provided here was dated from 2003--almost 5 years ago. Many things have happened within that time frame. I also provided a study which directly showed in California, the state we dealt with, the HUGE number of failing cases in regards to support being collected or not being collected (in the billions I believe it said...). How could that be a system that works?
I provided an alternative as in 50/50 split with NO support exchanged but that arguement went nowhere. Mist said it wasnt fair to the child/ren if one parent made good money and the other didn't--without regards to the lower salaried parent having the same opportunity to get a better job and/or education.

I provided everything Mist asked for==proof the system doesn't work (btw, the study Mist quoted from also only included 3-4 states I believe...I was only concerned with CA as that is the state that screwed us.), I offered an alternative, etc....but Mist has to have the last word and stood only by that outdated study.

A study that is at least 4 years old, limited states involved, billions of uncollected support--how can that be a system that works?

Yep, I had to do it...

lol

Geesh, ya think she's bad? I am getting bombarded with all that OJ news over and over and over again..

ugh

Okay-Kfed is not the best example of manhood as he does have two other children and pretty much dumped the other mother for Britney...he may or may not be in this whole thing for the cash...not surprising.
BUT, he is the father. SHE chose him to father not one but two children. I am just getting tired of all the news reports dogging him--HE didnt do anything wrong, she did- which ended up with her being in court and losing her children.
HE is the father--why shouldn't custody remain with him? As long as he behaves himself, which I think he has so far, as long as he keeps those kids safe and cared for....why all the reports about how she will get custody back if she does this and that? Just seems all one-sided as to his ability to be a good father...

oy

I'm a long time member here--I read but just don't post as much anymore.
Sure, you could go through a lot of expense, time and effort and unless you can prove, via a picture, that this person was on a particular computer, at a certain time and without a doubt it is her--nothing will be done, legally.
However, let me share some things that we've experienced over the years regarding the ex and the internet. I conclude with some ideas.
Let me begin with this site-yes, she's been on here (HI stalker) and probably reads still too. You wouldnt believe some of the bull she's posted here only to be "outed" and chastized.
She guess my password on FreeAdvice.com (a good site but not as wonderful as here)--because she has once again internet stalked me and found me. So, she steals my posting name, posts some really lame things, and I found her out. Long story short---turnabout was fair play and I got my posting name back. Along with some interesting info on her yahoo activities.
She broke into my msn account and my husbands. My husband used a very simple password years ago and she guessed it. Not much activity on those accounts but some personal emails sent back and forth. Thing is, she changed the profile to make  it look like son did it with all his info and pictures on it. Sad. One simple call and we got the accounts back. She was stupid enough to publicly post that she got "two new accounts" and listed our accounts.
She opened up a yahoo account using my husbands personal information. She sent some horrible things and said some horrible things on this yahoo profile making it seem like my husband printed this. ONe simple phone call and the account was taken down. She got mad because they also closed her picture page yet blamed my husband.
She stalked me on a friends forum and tried to pretend she was someone else...she was caught and we had a fun time "playing" with her!
I'd say, in all, there is about 10 different internet places she has followed me too. Originally, she found my yahoo profile and clicked on some links I had on there--I almost never use my real name, so she had to waste a lot of time doing that. Go figure.

OH, I have tons more. Even though the kids are over 18, it continues. But I'll tell ya what we've done and why she's terrified these adult children will find out her activities--how would she explain all this?
We copied everything-and I mean everything.
Now, we are not the kind of people who, like her, would run to the kids and disparrage her--we never have and never will.
BUT, should the kids, either one, ever want to know--well, there is it. I'll include the breaking in to our msn accounts--which you have experienced. What kind of a person does this sort of thing?
Copy everything---get a statcounter for all your sites--get headers for emails and most importantly..
change passwords about every other day. I have about 3 I use and interchange--its a pain but my stalker will not be getting into our sites anymore.

Good luck

Oh hun, I am just speachless...
email me or pm me here if ya need to talk or anything.
Hugs and prayers