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Jurisdiction, particularly over a very young child, will sometimes come down to who filed first and where.  It does sound like filings have been initiated in FL and that is where ultimately jurisdiction may end up.  Have you consulted with local counsel?  If the FL attorney you consulted with spoke of filing for custody, then FL is where jurisdiction maybe.

So you are aware, it is definitely not absconding when paternity has not been established and until that time it is, Mom is considered (FL law) to be the sole custodian.  She was at will to take the child and leave you and there was  nothing illegal about that. 

That being said, FL recently passed legislation that is geared more towards shared custody.  You will not likely be awarded shared (50/50)  physical custody because you don't reside in the same state/area, but FL is geared toward shared legal custody and you would be given that. You would of course have visitation.  Because FL is now geared toward shared custody, it is not likely you would be given primary custody.  The courts do not often change status quo when everything is ok and it is a young child with Mom already and unless she is a threat to the child, the courts are not likely to intervene and change that. 

The new law does require a parenting plan to be submitted to the courts.  Think about what you want and write it down.  Being as it is a young child and you are not in the area, you need to consider things like support (FL has guidelines, but it generally comes out to about 20% net income), visitation, transportation, transportation costs, holidays, visitation schedule when child starts daycare/school, ... it would actually serve you well to reside closer so you can see the child more.

Does your husbands orders specify that he gets access to cell phone numbers for the children?   Are his orders specific to time/days he can call the children and does it limit him to the home phone? I only ask because my orders specify home phone is what NCP is to call on and at designated times.    If the order does not say he has specific times and that he should have access to the cell phones, then Mom is not disobeying any orders and maybe the order needs clarifying/modifying.

Anpdaddy...a father of a child who has no paternity established and was never married to Mom, has no legal rights to a child. 

She could, at any time, say she wants the child and he must return the child to her.  Worse case scenario, she can cause a whole lot more problems for him then that.
(accuse of kidnapping.)

Until paternity is established and he is given legal custody, Mom can come by at any moment and get the child.  The fact the child has been with him several months cannot stop  her from reclaiming the child at a moments notice, thus everyone's cause for urgency.


Additionally, to the poster, a small apartment is not a reason the courts will not give shared custody.  It is very likely that that shared custody is what will occur, so be prepared, but you aren't going to avoid court over this.   

A custody battle is a huge undertaking and best not left to individuals who have never done it.  Mom could retain an attorney to fight you and on top of not having money to pay for your own attorney, she could get her attorney's fees paid by you.   Unless you have some very very strong information that proves Mom unfit (and not just allegations), a change in custody is not likely to happen at all.  There has to be a change of cirucmstances AND  you have to prove the change is in your daughters best interest.  Seven year old children do not have any voice in a court of law. There really is nothing you wrote here that would warrant a change in custody.

Buy your daughter a pay as you go cell phone.  You can get them very cheap (Cingular for $14.00)  and program your number in it for her.  Why rely on Mom to program it...do it yourself.  If your agreement only says "liberal" amout of telephone communication, file for a modification seeking specific times to speak to her.   Ambiguous orders often lead to problems such as this, and it is best to have a detailed phone schedule. 

Unfortunately, you will have to buy her winter clothes.  Taking pictures of old clothes she sent along doesnt mean or prove anything regarding Mom's ability to take care of  your daughter. Frustrating yes, meaningful in a court of law, no.   Show your daughter how to brush her teeth and remind her of the importance of this. 

Since Mom gave you Christmas, a likelihood of contempt for Thanksgiving is extremely unlikely. If the courts found her in contempt the remedy would be make up time, but you have already had that.

There is also nothing to indicate a change of judge or moderator.  Because we don't get the outcomes we would like in court is not a basis for seeking a new judge.

One last thing....and only a guess here...children feed off the parent they are talking to/spending time with.  Don't rely on the fact your child says she doesn't like TN when she is with you.  She probably hears or has sensed of your disapproval over it and would never want to hurt your feelings by telling you she isn't happy there.    I am sure she is sad leaving you and her siblings, but children are resilient and she probably is just as happy to be home and see Mom.   

I am reading your posts and I am going to play devil's advocate here....

You are a married man, having an affair and impregnated that person. 
You now consider her not to be a stellar person and one who should not have custody, but you continue to have a relationship with her while you are married under the pretense of being together for the baby.  You have not told her you are leaving her to go back to your wife once the baby is born, and you were seeking guidance on essentially how to remove the baby from her custody without engaging the courts. 

Honestly, I am not judging you, but if you are going to go on an attack of Mom and her character, one could consider your character as well and this battle will get very ugly, very fast.   

The fact is, you are going to have an upward battle on your hands, no matter if Mom has support of her family or not.  You have received some very good advice from everyone, but this may not be as clear cut as you think your road to custody will be.  Inclusive of all of the reasons everyone has already said, the courts will consider the fact you are leaving for FL, you will not be able to gain custody and relocate the child, that is a separate  battle from gaining custody.  The courts are highly unlikely  to let you remove a baby from Mom and the courts jurisdiction.  If you move --it is you, not her creating any limitations to how often and how frequently you will see your child.  The courts will also consider in a custody battle which parent is likely to foster the relationship with the other parent.  Seeing as you were contemplating removing the child without Mom's awareness and you have already said you are leaving for FL, that will be a huge factor in the court's decision. 

   Newborns can't speak so you now have no telephonic communication. A newborn can't be put on a plane so you will have to travel back to Tx to see the baby.  You will HAVE to get along with Mom for communication and updates and seeing as that will not be very likely after you leave her for your wife, you have a long drawn out mess on your hands. 

You have some serious thinking to do before you pursue custody  in a court of law.  You will have a battle for 1) custody 2) relocation (if you get custody) and 3) does your wife know and support this decision?

Each state is different and you being on the birth certificate (if Mom even does this) does not give you automatic rights. You HAVE to petition the courts for your rights.

You need to retain counsel.

Until a visitation order is set, Mom does not have to let you see your daughter so till then, you are under her scrutiny.   Be aware though, after you file for visitation, she will file for support and that child support most likely will come out to much more then $250/month. Child support does no such thing to break apart a family, it helps consistently the CP be able to provide for the child, no matter if that CP is Mom or Dad.   Most judges will not consider what you have done as child support.  On the flip side, they cannot order child support prior to the date she filed for it.  If she filed for it today and your hearing is not till June, they will order child support effective from today, not years back.

This has nothing to do with Father's Rights, this is straight forward family law and any qualified lawyer can handle your case.

I think you will be hard pressed to have a judge impose any type of sanctions against Mom for being two days late with her notification.  November 1st is an extremely late date for notification for Thanksgiving holidays due to the usual increase in costs and unavailability of airfaire.  You weren't required, but did you make any attempt on November 1st to contact Mom to find out plans.  It goes to show intent.  You yourself said the flights have been sold out since June. 

If you had put in the order that only specific airports  MUST be used, they MUST be used.  That is the court order.  You are upset with Mom for being two days late, but did those two days really make a difference in ticket availability and price? 

Unfortunately, Mom is right  about the airport selection.  You had it put in the order to be limited aiports only and since you are contemplating other airports, she would not likely be held in contempt if the agreed airports were not used.

What did Mom say she was doing in the November 3rd email.

We reside in NY and he resides in FL.

They are 11 and 9.

NCP resides in FL.  He currently has no visitation due to a  court approved relocation.

My attorney  has filed for contempt for non payment of child support.   He owes 30k.   One of his defenses to the non payment of child support is that he "says"  he is homeless and refuses (in accordance with the court order) to provide his address.  I am positive he resides with his girlfriend but cannot prove it. He will only provide a PO box number.


My question... he has filed for visitation.  How likely is it this will happen with him claiming to be
homeless and  he refuses to provide any physical address. where he resides.
It was in our MSA that an address must always be current and provided to the other.

I reside 1200 miles away from him with the children and I do not want to send them without knowing where they will physically be.  He also refuses to provide a home phone number.


Can I request all visitation be contingent on him supplying a physical address that can be verified?  He has forged many documents in the past so I would like a utility bill in his name as proof. 

Is it unrealistic of me to want this as a prerequisite to any visitation being given and what is the likelihood.

Thank you.