Messages

Thanks so much to Kitty C and all of the rest of you guys for giving me so much info that I didn't have!!!!!! I have one more question though, and I will ask it in the form of a brand new post... :-) Thank you guys oh so much.

thank you so much... I knew that they just looked at whatever money I gave her as a gift... that's why I wanted to establish something outside of the courts... but she would never go for it... this is really just an unfortunate situation... I didn't document anything either, so I will actually just go back since the day she was born and just fill things in to the best of my memory... thanks so much for everything... I Really think they need to look into changing child support laws for "good" fathers because if the woman just wants to be vindictive it is so unfair and lopsided... oh well, I'm the one that laid down with her. lol. thanks.

Hello, I have a daughter that is almost two now. Me and her mother were together (not married) for a little bit over the first year of her life, and we haven't been together for about seven months. I have been there since DAY ONE! During the time we were together, I would give her a check here, check there, but a lot of the money I gave her was "off the record". You know, buying diapers here, dinner there, Money for the baby and all the etc's.

I know I have equal rights to my child in theory, but every since she was born, I have always felt like a visitor to my daughter. Yeah I can take her here and there, but they (her family) always has the final say. I want to take her out of town, and she just says no... and the next week she takes her to a family reunion. I want to visit her, and I'm left in limbo allllllllll day on if I will be able to see her or not because her mother says "I may be busy, and I don't know what I may have going on".

When she is really not doing anything and doesn't want to make any kind of effort to help me see my child. She just always wants to make it difficult. So, I have been giving her money since her birth, and at least I can pull up most of the checks from 07 and every single one from 08. As far as the off the record money, would bank statement withdrawls be proof enough? So, really she's just so mean and vindictive and it just really makes no sense... I've been giving her a steady amount of money every month, but I told her "Lets work something out out of the courts to where we can have set days that I can visit Savannah, and I will give you even more money"

Honestly, I was giving her about 250 dollars a month plus diapers and all the errands she would ask me to run before I visited my diapers. I refused to give more than that because she didn't want to sit down and work something out. I would have been breaking the bank and still begging to see my daughter in a fair manner. So, I looked into child support, but didn't do it because it really seemed as if it broke up the family... But, then, I call her, let her know I'm on the way to give her a check and she says... "that's ok, just get some diapers"... I'm like what? Why don't you want the check, so I pry until she says that she has filed child support papers and she won't be able to accept money from me from the date of her filing. Is this true?

She wanted me to get the diapers though, because when I buy diapers they are once again off the record... So basically where do I go from here? How can I equip myself to get joint custody and proove all the things that I have done as a father and monetarily? I don't care about the increased money, I just want to come out of the court room knowing that I don't have to go through her to see my daughter...

I want something legally in place that says this is my time, this is what is to be done. She won't be civil and listen and reason with me, so I just want a judge to settle it... I'm so upset that I'm all over the place, but someone please answer all of my questions... It would be greatly appreciated.

<edited for whitespace by SPARC Admin>