Messages

I think (and others -- feel free to correct me on this) that you need to check Florida statutes and see if there's a potential father registry (or something like that).  Don't sign anything making you definitively responsible for that baby until paternity tests are complete.  I'm assuming you're looking for custody based on the assault and mental issues?

I totally agree- I think some states call it a putative fathers registry- if that helps in finding it.

definitely not- you are right to be ticked over that, I would be too....I don't know how I missed that particular tidbit in the first read through

mmmm....my daughter (7) gets into trouble when she doesn't put her dirty clothes down the laundry chute to be washed.  I wash it, not track it.

maybe just a parenting difference

[Gestalt : "Do you not have her address? You could go get them."]

Gestalt : "Do you not have her address? You could go get them."

Typically just showing up in a foreign jurisdiction (3000 miles from home) to retrieve the childen is not at all a good idea and that is why I asked the OP what he had been advised concerning that issue.  Kidnapping parent has yet to comply with any court order and such an action could very much upset the children.

Matters could quickly get ugly for daddy.  It is best to stay home and try to get the system work.

You are absolutely right that the way of least turmoil is for dad to wait, TRY to fight in court, and hope for justice. All the while though mom is developing status quo- you know here argument in court (when and if they actually get there) is going to be it would be too traumatic for the children to be uprooted from their home and their primary caregiver and the children's best interests almost always outweigh the rights and interests of parents. I'm not trying to argue with you at all, but Dad does need to know that he does have the right to take action now and he should be discussing the most effective action to get his kids ASAP- and deal with mom's behavior later. Right now Dad is losing his kids.

I don't think you have a shot at temp primary custody- you are not the child's primary caregiver. Has paternity been established? You can certainly ask for temp orders granting joint custody and a parenting time schedule.

Do you not have her address? You could go get them.

I just want to remind that the set visitation is "at least a week per month".....it's different than just giving sm a weekend here or there while mom gets a break.

One more thing -

If the CP decides not to allow the father to exercise his parenting time through his wife while he is deployed, then the CP should allow the child to make up all the time they missed with their parent immediately upon his return.

What? That makes no sense. CP is not obligated to give up the time that she is guaranteed by the court order because dad's lifestyle choices end up costing him time with the child.

Before people start bashing me as a soldier hater- hubby is a 12 years vet- his service was a choice. In making that choice he accepted both the benefits and the consequences of enlistment.

CP is getting time that was guaranteed to the NCP by the court due to the NCP's service to our country.  So, in making up the visitation, she's not losing any time.  By not allowing the make up the NCP is losing time and the CP is gaining.

I think that saying that it's a "lifestyle" choice is a bit myopic.  It's a little bit more than that.  Especially since refusing to an order to deploy can get you court marshalled.   It's not like he is missing his visitation because he chose to take a trip to Spain - he was ordered to deploy.

Don't forget that you have the choice of your lifestyle due to the sacrifices that our service members make.

Yes but it is really no different than taking a job that has tons of travel, that is a choice, but the choice costs time with the kids.

And I totally agree that had dad handled it differently mom would likely have been more cooperative. But giving a step parent the ncp parenting time is ridiculous and certainly opens the door wide for future overstepping scenarios.

Maybe your wife would fight you on it because she also loves the child and wants to spend as much time as possible with the child?

The best way to get 50/50 is to agree to it.

One always takes a chance going to court. That being said, you should go into court on at LEAST equal footing (equal chances) as mom because of your level of involvement. If you guys cannot agree, then you should get an attorney so you have the best possible chance of getting what you want.

One more thing -

If the CP decides not to allow the father to exercise his parenting time through his wife while he is deployed, then the CP should allow the child to make up all the time they missed with their parent immediately upon his return.

What? That makes no sense. CP is not obligated to give up the time that she is guaranteed by the court order because dad's lifestyle choices end up costing him time with the child.

Before people start bashing me as a soldier hater- hubby is a 12 years vet- his service was a choice. In making that choice he accepted both the benefits and the consequences of enlistment.