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Messages - InTheMiddle

#11
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Lying--Clarification
Jul 18, 2005, 06:45:28 PM
Sorry my words are so strong that you think I 'm stroking out.  Unfortunately I have this vicious justice streak.

Dad has had custody of kids since November 1, 2004.

Mom received 3 child support checks in November and 1 in December, because it takes a while for the clearing house to change things.

Dad's lawyer has produced copies of Dad's checks which show child support has been taken out.

Mom's lawyer says she never received the money.  Says it is lost in the clearing house.

http://www.familysupportcenter.maricopa.gov/DES/default.asp shows that she received 1246.14 in Nov and 417.63 in December.  You need the atlas # and zip code to find your own.

Attorney and Mom were required to produce bank statements since she has direct deposit.  Bank statement submitted was from 12/20/04 to 1/20/05, dates after she would have received the checks.  Dad's lawyer objected, but judge didn't seem to care.

Judgement is for Mom to pay back 1246.14 in 30 days in order to avoid contempt charge and possible arrest warrant.  She still has $1500 in attorney fees to pay and child support from 11/04, but that will not be addressed until after the child support overpayment is cleared.

When I accuse a professional of lying, I don't do it lightly.  I have the written evidence and he just has his word.  This is not a "he said/she said" thing.  

Glad to know I can give him the same clerical assistance and research I gave our lawyer and not be charged $250 an hour for him to speak.  (Perhaps I should have charged our lawyer for my time;)

I asked about the power to sign forms for convienence purposes, because he travels alot.  But a Notary will work just fine, just takes more time.  Considering we have 5 years before she reaches the $10,000 mark, I'd say that is something we have to spare.

Thanks for the advice and sarcastic humor.  Your advice opens my eyes to opportunities and your humor always makes me laugh.

Unfortunately, I do have one more question:

1)  Based on past court experiences, we are expecting that Mom will make no payments.  What does being found in contempt mean as far as legal ramafications?  (Mom in TX, Dad in AZ, court in AZ).

#12
"If you mean, some document that permits you to help your husband represent himself in court, then yes, there is. It's called an attorney's license"

1)  Do I need an attorney's license to file forms he has signed with a Notary?

2)  Is there a way he can give me the power to sign the forms for him without an attorney's license?

3)  Do I need an attorney's license to sit beside him in a clerical capacity and pass him evidence when her attorney is lying?

4)  If number 3 is yes, then how can the court remain impartial when it blatently gives someone who has an attorney's license the right to lie?  This attorney gives no evidence to support his lies, so if #3 is correct, the court considers a lying individual who has an attorney's license to be fact and no evidence refutting the lie may be admitted?

The more I learn about Family Court, the less I like it.  Perhaps it would be in our best interests not to pursue the child support, wait until it gets over $10,000 in arrears (which will take 5 years), and have the government handle it from there (another institution I have become dis-illussioned with).

Thanks for helping with the clarification and understanding my frustration.

#13
Dear Socrateaser / Partial Power of Attorney
Jul 17, 2005, 07:53:55 PM
AZ court.  Dad in AZ, Mom in TX.  Dad has physical custody.

The attorney agrees that we never would have gotten custody of the children if it weren't for all the research I did.  He also agrees that he really can't do any more for the case than I can, except charge us fees.

Right now the battle is Mom not paying child support.  The court seems to be very lenient towards the Mom (according to our attorney, if a Dad was over $5,000.00 in back child support, he would have been arrested by now).  Mom's attorney keeps delaying child support hearings due to vacations and it has cost us over $250 in attorney fees for her attorney's vacations.

I'm the one who shared the web site on child support http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/family/childenf/index.htm

Since it has cost us more in attorney's fees then we will ever get back from child support by the time the youngest turns 18, we would like to self represent.

My significant other is comfortable talking in court, but he would like me to do all the research, file all the forms and sit beside him during the hearings so I can pass him evidence when her attorney is lying (unfortunately, it happens a lot).

1)  Is there anything like a Partial Power of Attorney?

2)  If so, how can we obtain one and file it in AZ court?

On a side note, I have noticed in divorces if the non-custodial parent refuses to pay child support; they are still entitled to all scheduled visitations.  If it's an interstate divorce, it's near impossible to enforce an arrest warrant, so there is incentative to never pay child support because they can still see their kids.

3)  Has a judge ever restricted visitation due to never paying child support?

Thanks in advance for your useful advice!


#14
I picked up a Consumer Information pamphlet at the library today.  Their web site was in the pamphlet and I found this very interesting.

Just though I would share.

http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/family/childenf/index.htm
#15
What state are you in?

I think each state has it's own interpertations of transportating children.  Look them up on the net.

In AZ, it is based on % of income, just like uninsured medical expenses.

On a personal note, I have done the "meet half way" with DH's X.  She is very manipulative and it makes the 6 hour drive back completely miserable for all.  

I find if the kids have some "down time" in their room watching tv, calling their friends, ect... right after the exchange, it make the de-programming much simplier.  Meeting half way postpones this for 6 hours and adds extra stress to the kids.  

It's like they've heard all kinds of negative propaganda from their mom for the first 6 hours, then they need to be confined in a car with the people they have just been brain washed about.  I compare it to watching a tiger who used to be free, all of a sudden be caged.  

I don't think meeeting half way with a mom like my stepkids have is not psychologically good for them.  You need to make up your own mind and not let her lawyer do anything detremental to your children.  Personally, I have found tht most of the time the lawyers (on both sides)are just bluffing and hope that your ignorance of the law will make you agree to losing some of your rights.

#16
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Parental Discretion
May 16, 2005, 11:17:22 AM
Thank you!

You always come up with the best advice.

All her telephone conversations are already being recorded (AZ has a law that says we can) and I plan on using a video recorder during the exchange, as we will be at a high school graduation anyway.  Just to cover our tracks, I will tell her we intend to record all telephone conversations.  Better safe than sorry.

On a personal note, I think she is trying to get her life back together and will cooperate.  She has lost many boyfriends/husbands based on her psychotic behavior in dealing with her children.  I hope my instincts are right.

#17
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Parental Discretion
May 14, 2005, 06:56:00 PM
Parental Discretion is something I heard while attending an event in California.  After researching it on the web, I think it was a term used by the woman's x or his attorney so she wouldn't fight not having visitation.

The only thing I could find was on the joint custody agreement that was adopted with the original divorce decree:

"Telephone access:  Each parent may have telephone access with the children during the children's normal waking hours and shall be limited to one-half hour."

"Both parents shall have full and complete access to all information regarding the minor chidren."

"Each parent shall have and provide full access and disclosures to the other parent regarding the minor children."

I used that information to send the x these two sentences:

"According to our Joint Custody Agreement filed in the Superior Court of Arizona, Maricopa County on 3/16/99 and approved in the Consent and Decree of Dissolution of Marriage in the Superior Court of Arizona, Maricopa County on 6/28/99, I understand that you will provide me with the schedule(s), address(es) and phone number(s) of where our children will be staying during your summer parenting time."

"Unless I receive from you in writing by Wednesday, May 25, 2005 of the schedule(s), address(es) and phone number(s) of where our children will be staying during your summer parenting time, I will understand that you willingly forfeit your summer parenting time for 2005."

1)  Is this something she could use in court against the father?

2)  Doesn't the court assume that certain things, like where the children are staying and how to contact them, is something both parents are entitled to?

Thanks for your input.  
#18
Dear Socrateaser / Parental Discretion
May 22, 2005, 07:49:15 AM
Background:  Mom in TX, Dad in AZ.  AZ divorce & court.  Dad has full physical custody of children, divorce is joint legal custody.

Problem:  Mom's summer visitation.  Mom has no permanent address.  Mom has given no address or employer to the court.  Mom's family is so psycho that they distribute newsletters about how awful they are (ie Joe uses drugs, John is a known sex offender, ect.)

Although Mom has never paid child support, I realize child support does not affect visitation.

1)  Legally, what is parental discretion concerning visitation?

2)  What is the difference between parental discretion and contempt of court?

3)  Based on not knowing where the kids will be during Mom's visitation, can we refuse summer visitation based on parental discretion or any other legal means?

4) Can we demand notarized and in writing that she give us an address and phone number as to where the children will be living during her visitation before we exchange kids?

5)  If she makes up an address, can we hold her in contempt, child endangerment, anything else?

Your advise is very much appreciated.

#19
It is my understanding that you cannot change the state's jursidiction if there is a motion pending in the court the divorce was filed in.

If she is trying to change jursidiction to IA, then she needs to file that in CA court. If the children live in IA, then she can change the jurisdiction to IA court for under $100.

I think you should research IA law and compare it to CA law and see which one is most benificial for you.

Personally, we kept "contempt" charges filed in our state court to keep it from being moved to the state where the children lived. The BM supplied us with enough reasons to keep the contempt charges going.

We eventually won custody, but many times have wondered if it had changed to the children's state, it would have been more convienent to get CPS, police, and witness cooperation.

From what I have read, CA favors the mother.  Check into IA laws, they may be more in your favor.
#20
I sent a certified copy of the AZ document to the TX County Clerk with the appropriate fees, and they accepted it.

It must have done something because the BM called the DH all pissed off.