Messages

Thank you very much for your advice, Soc.

You always come up with things I never think of.

Bettter to file.  If I lose, I've lost nothing.  If I don't file, I will never get anything.

Dear Soc--

Superior Court of Arizona orders BM to pay DH $1500 towards his attorneys fees.  AZ Divorce, Child Custody, & Child Support.

BM lives in TX.

BM owns a house in TX.

BM is selling her house.  

We want to put a lien on the house for the $1500 order.

AZ Superior court says go to the AZ Justice Court.

AZ Justice Court says go to the AZ Superior Court.

TX Court asks for an AZ abstract, but no one in either AZ Courts knows what an abstract is.

1)  I sent a certified copy of the court order with appropriate filing fees to TX  Deed of Records.  Is that as good as an abstract?

2)  Which court in which state should we pursue to get the court ordered attorney's fees?

3)  BM will owe DH about $1000 in overpaid child support fees.  (She lost custody of kids 11/1/04, but it takes CS 2 months to change the order and go thru the clearing house.)  Any advice on which court we should pursue this with?

Thank you very much for all your help.

"The only issues we've had since the judgement haven't come from the kids. They have been mom raging, crying and cursing at dad in front of kids. "

Do you have a video tape recorder?  If not, spend the $500 to get one and record her everytime she comes to your house.  It's amazing how civilized people act when they know they are being videotaped.  And you can show these to the judge.

Get yourself a telephone tape recorder.  They costs around $100.  You can set it up to record anytime the handset is picked up.  

Our AZ lawyer said that the conversations between BM and the kids are not immessible in court, but are at a therapist, psychologist, or even in mediation.  The conversations between your DH and BM are allowed in court if your DH agrees to the tapes.

I have a BM like yours, too.  It's amazing how putting $600 on my credit card has taken alot of stress out of my life.

I don't take any credit for these suggestions, for I have found them on this board.  THANK YOU SOCRATEASER!!!

I am an adult with cerebral palsy, so I know what your son lives with everyday.  The Step Kids's Birth Mother (BM) sounds like a very manipulative person.  

She sees your son's condition as a weakness she can and will attack every chance she gets.  Too bad she isn't educated enough to know that cerebral palsy doesn't affect intelligence, but your son's school and their psychologist do know better!!!

Does your son have an IEP?  Having an IEP gives your son extra protection against predators like your BM in school situations.

Contact the principal and CC the district superintendent that as an involved parent, you must be notified before your son is pulled into the psychologist's office for any reason!  If the school had called you first about the situation, you could have better prepared your son for this emotional confrontation.  I find sending e-mails works better than calling, it leaves a paper trail they must respond to.

I would contact your local UCP and disability rights advocacy group and discuss the situation with them as well.

While I applaud your nobility in trying to get custody of your step sons so you can help them, I am concerned that you didn't mention if they we already in counseling.  You can find family therapists that are open on Saturdays and since you have them eow, it would be in your family's best interest that counseling start before the emotional court battle.

Sounds like this is a situation you will be dealing with the rest of your life.  Read up on books about cognitive thinking and give your son the intellectual tools he needs to deal with situations in the future.

My positive thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Ohhhhhh!!!!!

I like that letter!!!

1)  Can I use a version of it when BM refuses to send children for visitation when the plane tickets have already been paid for?

We recently went through the same thing with the BM.

I was scared until the very end.  DH's kids suffer from PAS and would do anything, including lying to the evaluator, not to get BM angry with them.

Everytime we had an evaluation, we thought we had lost.

Came down to the court case, and the judge says he will take all the evidence under advisement and notify us by mail.  BM had witnesses, we decided to go just on the evidence and not drag the neighborhood and the children's mother down with it.

Have faith in the people in the judicial system.  They all saw through the lies.  Although we didn't find out we won until a week after the court case, it turned out that the judge had made his decision immediately after the hearing.

I have the sneaking suspicision that the case was decided before it was even heard.

Remember, the courts and their evaluators deal with people like your children's BF everyday.  They can see through the lies and deception.  If the BF does not have documentation that he has attended anger management classes before the court date, I know you will win.

I know what a frustrating situation you are in.  I was just there.  Have faith.  My positive thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.

We had the same situation-----but with an interstate divorce.

I found out that police records are public property.  You can ask for a copy of police records on any address of any state, but not a person.  Police records include 911 calls.  Most of the time it doesn't cost you anything.  The person'a name who lives at the address are in the police records!

I found 50 police reports of domestic and child abuse on the BM.  All were admitted into evidence in the custody hearing---which is amazing!!!


Good Luck!!!

Soc--

Thank you very much for your valuable advice during this time.  I have two more questions.

We went to court for Child Custody on Wednesday.  Mom in TX, Dad in AZ, court in AZ.  Mom appeared telephonically.

Judge called both lawyers into chambers.  We had exactly 45 minutes to present situation to the judge.  20 minutes later, the lawyers come out and say they will do all the testifying.  The one witness was dismissed from the court room so that other testimony cannot affect her testimony.

All the evidence was against BM.  Only had her word and the word of her witness, which was excused, to refute physical evidence (court ordered reports and police reports).  I think it came out in Dad's favor, but you never know.

After all was said and done, judge says he will take evidence under advisement and notify us by mail.  Lawyer says judge has 60 days to comply.

1)  How common is it for a judge to make people wait for a decision in the mail?  

2)  Is there anything else I should be worried about?

In a previous post, you wrote: ">2. In the meantime once the orders are granted. How soon does
>the court usually take to enforce the actually exchange of the
>children since this is out of state it is more complicated?

If the court orders it, you must usually wait 30 days for the other parent to move for reconsideration or file an appeal. After that, the move would be immediate."

Court Psychologists recommends tht DH get custody of 2 youngest children due to abuse in BM's home.  Judge to rule this Wednesday.

(1) If BM moves for a reconsideration or appeals, who gets custody of the children until the appeal is heard?

(2)  If BM gets custody until all appeal avenues have been exhausted (which could take years), what is the point of going to court to protect your kids?

(3)  Have lawyers used this tatic in the past in order to protect the abusive parent and their abusive realtionship with the children?

Thank you for your quick response to these pressing questions.

Thank you very much for that information.  Just one more question, though.

1)  If you have automatic withdrawls, like your mortgage, and its all thru the same bank, will that affect them as well?

2)  If not, will all automatic withdrawls still go thru?