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Minnesota State Forum / cs hearing coming up
« on: Sep 08, 2004, 12:36:04 PM »
BM will ask magistrate to base cs on her income. DH will ask them to base it on her ability to earn. She has not worked full-time in at least 12 years. (That is how old her oldest child is.) She was supposed to be a full-time parent when dh and her were together. When they split up, she lived off of his cs payments. Now she doesn't have the kids anymore, and therefore, has no reason not to work full time. Her education and work background and present employment are as a nursing assistant. There are TONS of jobs of that type in MN right? So if her current employer doesn't have full-time work for her she could work somewhere else. She just doesn't want to work, and doesn't think she should have to. I may sound ruthless, (and I don't mean to) but my husband has been paying her more than we can afford to spend on groceries for years, while we have been the ones taking care of the kids.

If anyone has any experience with this issue that can help us out, I'd appreciate it.

Minnesota State Forum / We got a cs order.
« on: Aug 03, 2004, 11:54:45 AM »
Or rather, proposed order. Both parties have 20 days to respond, or request a hearing. If not, it gets filed. BM will have to pay almost the same amount dh was paying when she had the kids! They have based it on her ability to earn. She hasn't worked full time in over ten years, but now she has no reason not to. She's really pissed.

She called dh and told him she is going to take him to court for back pay on last few years when he was making more money, and she never asked for an increase. I'm pretty sure it's too late to ask for an increase now. She also is going to claim that she doesn't even earn what the cs amount is set at. I hope she tells the magistrate what she told dh. ("I don't have to work full time.")

Of course, if she does take him to court, he is going to ask for back pay. She hasn't paid anything since custody was changed in April. Also, when he got joint custody in December, the order stated that cs would be reviewed when she was no longer a full-time student. She hasn't gone to school since January. So, she should owe him back at least 50% of what he paid for those 3-4 months too right?

Minnesota State Forum / We got a restaining order.
« on: Jun 05, 2004, 03:01:56 PM »
I don't know if anyone will read this, because there are no messages here, but I'm afraid to post it another board, because I would get ripped to shreds for "denying visitation" by people that don't know our situation.
DH thought things would calm down after he got custody. No more court, no more psychotic behavior. Yeah right. There have been TONS of psychotic behaviors the last few weeks. This is the most recent.

Thurs, BM was supposed to be staying at the house next door to us babysitting. She had asked dh if he would take those kids to the bus stop in the am--he said ok, if they're ready when I go.

She called in the afternoon, crying because her car got repossessed. She actually had the nerve to ask dh for the $$ to get it out. Then she asked him for a ride to HND (house next door) so she would be there when the kids got home from school. He agreed to give her a ride, which really made me mad.

That night, she called our house at 9:00. We have told her many times not to call her after 8:00, and told the kids not to have calls after 8:00. The kids were downstairs in bed, and dh was down there saying gdnt to them, so I didn't answer. She came over. I told her she was not welcome to come over here or call at 9:00, and she wanted to know what time they were leaving in the morning. After I told her the time, instead of leaving she sat on my front step arguing with me for a few minutes until I told her to leave. Then she stormed up the steps and said "I want to see my kids." She forced herself into my house, kicking the door open when I tried to close it, so I pushed her out. Then she flew back up at me, falling on the floor in my house and wouldn't leave. I called the police and they said I might be charged with assaulting her!

The next day dh filed an order for protection. She is not to call here or come within a block of our home. I was surprised it was signed, because we would be lying if we alleged that she had been physically abusive to the kids, and that's what we were told those orders are for. We just listed that she had threatened to kill me and been harassing us, and obviously, that she is a meth addict. The hearing will be in front of the same judge that handled the custody case. We're not bringing our atty this time, can't afford it.

I hope that this time they will order her to go to treatment before she can see the kids again.

Minnesota State Forum / child support.
« on: Apr 30, 2004, 08:24:43 PM »
Ok, this is a weird one. If anyone has ideas for me, great.

In Dec, an order was granted awarding joint physical custody. As you may know, bm filed the wrong paperwork. She filed a proposal given to her in Sept, offering to continue to pay the same amount of cs until June 2005. What was agreed in court is that dh would pay the same amount of cs while she a full time student. We recently got that amended. Now, when she registered at the beginning of the next quarter, she may have been registered full-time, but she dropped at least one of her classes shortly after. I think she failed the rest, because she quit attended in February when she starting smoking meth all the time.

Dh had a cs hearing scheduled in April because he lost his job, and was trying to get his support adjusted. He postponed this hearing and got a new date in June because custody was unresolved. He now has temp custody, and his support is suspended until the next hearing. We expect him to get sole custody at the next hearing. BM owes $242 back because she was overpaid in April or March.

Dh was told by his cs worker that when he is awarded custody, and bm has to pay support, it will be a seperate case, and her arrears for the case of him overpaying her will not be attached to the new case.

So, should he still keep this hearing to try and get the amount adjusted for Dec-April, so she will owe him more money back?

Minnesota State Forum / New day, new story
« on: Apr 22, 2004, 10:48:08 AM »
BM is a total flake. One day, she is moving, one day, she isn't. One day, she is pissed because she found out her bf is sleeping with many women, the next day, she is moving in w/him.

She received a letter from atty asking her to promise in writing that she will not be using drugs this w/e or have the kids in contact w/her bf per judge's order. When dh talked to her about this last night, she got all pissed. She said he is controlling everything about her life, and she can't take it anymore. (Because he doesn't want her to be high with the kids?) She said she is signing the agreement he sent her to get this over with. (Thank goodness)

Today, she has a different story. What are we supposed to do? She failed a drug test, and has not taken anymore since then, even though she was supposed to. I don't want dh to get in any more trouble for not letting the kids go with her for the weekend, but I just don't see how he can.

Then, the kids are going to be terribly disappointed because of course she promised them she would pick them up Friday. If we don't let them go, then WE'RE the mean guys who are trying to take these poor kids away from their mom.

Minnesota State Forum / Tests were not clean.
« on: Apr 15, 2004, 01:00:39 PM »
She failed her drug test. She says she quit using 4 days before the test, and they told her the results were so high, she must have been using w/in the last 12 hours. That's how much that stuff was absorbed into her!

She told dh she is giving him custody. She wrote it down, tape recorded it. Atty has sent her papers to sign. If she doesn't sign them, the judge will. Dh is not offering a visitation schedule until she gets some help. She called the kids and told them she has been lying to them and has been a drug addict for years.

Whew. It's almost over. I hope she moves to AK.

Minnesota State Forum / I need help with chemical dependency eval
« on: Apr 05, 2004, 06:45:30 PM »
In court today, dh was awarded temp sole custody. Both of them were sent off for drug testing, which seems to be a joke. Bm was pretty confident she would pass, so I'm sure she knows some way around it. When dh went in, they left the room while he was giving the ua, didn't ask him to remove his jacket, and didn't give him the info he needed for the random testing the judge ordered.

Bm was also ordered to have a cd eval. The judge said that dh has to pay for the eval, so he can pick the place she has it done. We are very worried that they won't look at the background of this case when doing the eval, and she will just go in and lie and say she doesn't do drugs, and the judge will accept that she proved she doesn't have a drug problem.

Can anyone help me with this? Who should we call? Will we be allowed to give any background info?

Minnesota State Forum / Question about child support review
« on: Mar 13, 2004, 03:37:04 PM »
BM just received motion to modify support. Reasons stated are 1) Custody was changed Dec 23, and they now have joint 50/50 physical custody 2)DH lost his job on Feb 1 due to company restructuring. He is now collecting unemployment insurance.

She, of course, is very upset about the fact that he is asking to follow state guidlines on support now that he lost his job. When they were divorced, his support was reduced because his two older were living in his home. Now the oldest of them has moved out, and the other turned 18 in Feb, and is in 12th grade. DH also has received significant pay increases since cs was set at the time of their divorce, but he also is now raising our two younger children.

My question is this: She claims that he has to disclose MY income and she will be entitled to a percentage of it, from the time that we were married, and that she can have the amount he was paying over the last few years reviewed, and be awarded back-pay, if they decide the amount he was ordered to pay was not appropriate. Is this true?

Minnesota State Forum / BM wants the kids to go to court
« on: Mar 05, 2004, 08:25:39 AM »
April 5 is the hearing where she has to answer for all the stuff she did around Christmas. (Filing the wrong agreement behind our backs, so she could take the kids on Christmas, and illegally flying to AK with them) She says she is taking the kids with so they can tell the judge they wanted to go. I think that would be a horrible thing to do to them. They don't need to get stuck in the middle of this. The kids are on Spring break that week, and she has custody that week, too, so it doesn't seem like there is anything we can do about her bringing them in.

She also has said many times that she is going to tell the judge that joint custody isn't working, because dh is being "so unreasonable about everything." She wants to ask for sole custody back. We have had the kids more time than she has since the custody was changed, and had them more before it was changed.

Doesn't she have to file a motion to get the order changed, and if she does, don't we have to get a copy of it first? Is there a time limit on when she can file? They won't let the kids into the courtroom for this hearing will they?

Minnesota State Forum / I need a link to get child support forms
« on: Feb 27, 2004, 11:12:49 AM »
Can someone give me the web address to download forms? I need to request a hearing to review child support.

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