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She checked in Sunday night. She called Monday and said instead of coming over and blowing your head off last night, I called 911 and had them take me to treatment." She said they are getting her a social worker, and helping her get an atty. Then, in a month she will be clean and sober and is "coming at us with both barrels."

I really think the OFP is going to be dropped, with or without an atty.

Yeah, I don't know about the atty. We still owe almost $3,000 to atty, and I don't think he wants to do anything more for us unless we pay that off. We had thought that the hearing would be in front of the same judge, but looking at the papers again today, it looks like not. He is supposed to file separate papers to get a hearing with family court judge to change visitation. I don't think this order is going to stand, dh has been in there twice in front of the same judge on OFP hearings. The first time, when he and bm separated, he was covered w/bruises and filed against her. The judge said there was no evidence she had done anything to harm him. Threw it out. The next time, this April, she filed one on him, didn't show up for the hearing, and the judge still threatened to throw dh in jail.

This am dh called to find out if she had been served, and she had not. I think it's weird that she didn't try to call the kids all weekend if she hadn't received the no-contact order. She called Fri eve and asked when he was going to bring ss over, didn't ask about sd. I don't think she knew what time it was or even noticed that sd hadn't come home from school. She told dh she was going to kill him. He said if she calmed down, he might let the kids talk to her in a couple days. She said "You'll be dead in a couple days."

I don't know if anyone will read this, because there are no messages here, but I'm afraid to post it another board, because I would get ripped to shreds for "denying visitation" by people that don't know our situation.
DH thought things would calm down after he got custody. No more court, no more psychotic behavior. Yeah right. There have been TONS of psychotic behaviors the last few weeks. This is the most recent.

Thurs, BM was supposed to be staying at the house next door to us babysitting. She had asked dh if he would take those kids to the bus stop in the am--he said ok, if they're ready when I go.

She called in the afternoon, crying because her car got repossessed. She actually had the nerve to ask dh for the $$ to get it out. Then she asked him for a ride to HND (house next door) so she would be there when the kids got home from school. He agreed to give her a ride, which really made me mad.

That night, she called our house at 9:00. We have told her many times not to call her after 8:00, and told the kids not to have calls after 8:00. The kids were downstairs in bed, and dh was down there saying gdnt to them, so I didn't answer. She came over. I told her she was not welcome to come over here or call at 9:00, and she wanted to know what time they were leaving in the morning. After I told her the time, instead of leaving she sat on my front step arguing with me for a few minutes until I told her to leave. Then she stormed up the steps and said "I want to see my kids." She forced herself into my house, kicking the door open when I tried to close it, so I pushed her out. Then she flew back up at me, falling on the floor in my house and wouldn't leave. I called the police and they said I might be charged with assaulting her!

The next day dh filed an order for protection. She is not to call here or come within a block of our home. I was surprised it was signed, because we would be lying if we alleged that she had been physically abusive to the kids, and that's what we were told those orders are for. We just listed that she had threatened to kill me and been harassing us, and obviously, that she is a meth addict. The hearing will be in front of the same judge that handled the custody case. We're not bringing our atty this time, can't afford it.

I hope that this time they will order her to go to treatment before she can see the kids again.

No, actually, I don't expect her to pay support at all. But in their divorce, she was awarded $10,000 in the equity of our home. This lein is payable to her if the house is sold, or yss turns 18. Our thought is that whatever cs arrears are due at that time can be removed from the lein on the house.

Ok, this is a weird one. If anyone has ideas for me, great.

In Dec, an order was granted awarding joint physical custody. As you may know, bm filed the wrong paperwork. She filed a proposal given to her in Sept, offering to continue to pay the same amount of cs until June 2005. What was agreed in court is that dh would pay the same amount of cs while she a full time student. We recently got that amended. Now, when she registered at the beginning of the next quarter, she may have been registered full-time, but she dropped at least one of her classes shortly after. I think she failed the rest, because she quit attended in February when she starting smoking meth all the time.

Dh had a cs hearing scheduled in April because he lost his job, and was trying to get his support adjusted. He postponed this hearing and got a new date in June because custody was unresolved. He now has temp custody, and his support is suspended until the next hearing. We expect him to get sole custody at the next hearing. BM owes $242 back because she was overpaid in April or March.

Dh was told by his cs worker that when he is awarded custody, and bm has to pay support, it will be a seperate case, and her arrears for the case of him overpaying her will not be attached to the new case.

So, should he still keep this hearing to try and get the amount adjusted for Dec-April, so she will owe him more money back?

This am bm called to talk to dh. She didn't think ss would be home and was surprised when he answered the phone. She asked dh if she could see him this week to make up the time that she blew off. He said no.
Then she showed up at ss's school to discuss all this with him over lunch. How nice of her to ruin his day huh? The counselor called dh and told him ss is having a very bad day. He is so confused and doesn't know who to believe.

Did you hire a private evaluator? When dh had an eval 3 years ago, it was with a county appointed one, and there was one set cost, which had to be split, I think. I wish she would have a more thorough job, even though it seemed to take forever. When all the investigating was finished, it took about a month or two to complete her report.

Nope, she doesn't have an atty. She tried to get a free one, but they can only spend a limited amount of time on a case, and she said dh has filed so much paperwork, they will never have time to go through it. We're pretty confident about the upcoming hearing, but wish she would just sign the papers like she said she would, so we don't have to go to court. It's costing so much $$!

Yeah, I can't believe her! She failed three drug tests, so she quit taking them. Wouldn't it be good to KEEP taking them, so she could prove she quit? But of course, that won't work if ya don't quit! Even I am surprised that she blew off her time with them last night. Last week, she was calling every day right when they got home from school. Now, she hasn't called for two days.

SS talked to his school counselor today. DH has been in to talk to her a couple times, so she already knows what's going on. He told dh that he went to see her. He said he is confused and doesn't know who to believe, because mom tells him one thing, and dad tells him another. She pointed out that mom is doing drugs, and dad is the one taking care of him. She told him people who use drugs lie a lot, and he should probably believe dad. Nice to know someone is on his side for a change!

We got an e-mail from atty on Fri saying that she faxed him a letter at 2am complaining about our "manipulation" and cited MN statutes on deprivation of parental rights. She called dh to tell him she had sent the letter, and wanted to pick up the kids from school. Since she said the day before that she wasn't going to do that, he told the kids to ride the bus home after school, so he told her he would bring them to her house about 5:00. She called back later and told him that she wanted the kids to walk over to the neighbor's at about 6:30, cause they were having dinner there. She didn't show up til almost 7:00, and had to drive sd to a sleepover right away. Then at 8:30pm sat, she brought ss back, wearing the same clothes he went to school in Fri, and then went to pick up sd and brought her back here.
The co says dh can pick them up Sun for church, and bring them back to her after church and they stay with her Sun night. She calls at 8:30am Sunday and leaves a message that she just got home from work (the job she said she lost a few days ago) and was going to bed. So she blew off her time w/them on Sun.
Mon she is supposed to pick them up and spend the evening w/them for her 1 night a week visitation, and she blew that off too.
She got into an argument with dh on the phone Mon morning and said she is going to tell the judge to take the kids away from both of them and put them in foster care. What a nut!

BM is a total flake. One day, she is moving, one day, she isn't. One day, she is pissed because she found out her bf is sleeping with many women, the next day, she is moving in w/him.

She received a letter from atty asking her to promise in writing that she will not be using drugs this w/e or have the kids in contact w/her bf per judge's order. When dh talked to her about this last night, she got all pissed. She said he is controlling everything about her life, and she can't take it anymore. (Because he doesn't want her to be high with the kids?) She said she is signing the agreement he sent her to get this over with. (Thank goodness)

Today, she has a different story. What are we supposed to do? She failed a drug test, and has not taken anymore since then, even though she was supposed to. I don't want dh to get in any more trouble for not letting the kids go with her for the weekend, but I just don't see how he can.

Then, the kids are going to be terribly disappointed because of course she promised them she would pick them up Friday. If we don't let them go, then WE'RE the mean guys who are trying to take these poor kids away from their mom.