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Topics - Kitty C.

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111
Making Pancakes

Six-year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents
pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter,
opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor.

He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor, which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very  bad...

He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on
the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked!  Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor.  Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.                

And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess.  He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him.

Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.  That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour.

Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do.  That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him.

But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others.  Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

I was thinking... and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that need rekindling or three words needing to be said, sometimes, "I love you" can heal & bless!  Remind every one of your friends that you love them.  Even if you think they don't love back, you would be amazed at what those three little words, a smile, and a reminder like this can do.

And never stop "making pancakes"!!!




112
Father's Issues / This is cool!
« on: Feb 10, 2004, 03:07:49 PM »
Just talked to an atty., one who was recommended to me by an old atty. friend.  I had originally talked to him a couple weeks ago regarding filing and he gave me some great info just over the phone.  I explained to him that I have the initial petition filed now but that I just don't want to go thru this by myself.

He told me that, given that we have no kids to fight over and it's just property and debt, he won't charge the regular $2000 retainer.  He also said that it's obvious that I want to do as much of this as I possibly can to save on costs (which he commended me on, BTW) and that he can work 'in the background', advising me of what I need to be aware of and doing only what is absolutely neccesary.  

He asked me to send him copies of what I filed so far and to notify him when service has been done, then we can go from there and he will decide on a retainer fee then.  Right now it's looking like it may be around $1000 or maybe even less.  But I made it plain to him that I do not have an agenda, I do not want to take DH to the cleaners, I am not mad at him (just extremely disappointed and wish he'd get help), so he will not push me to do things I don't want to.  I'm liking this guy already and we haven't even met face to face!

113
Father's Issues / We're still here!
« on: Feb 04, 2004, 10:53:07 AM »
The major part of the move is complete; I just have some kitchen stuff and DS's bed frame to move.

Had a snow storm on Monday to throw a monkey wrench into the pile, but at least it was WARMER!  In the high 20's!  And we're supposed to get another one starting tonight, with even more snow, so I'm glad the majority of it is done.  

So far, so good.  I hate like he!! to have to do things the way I am, but I really don't have any other choice, unless I want to put up with the possibility of more stress and abuse.  No way!  I filed the papers yesterday morning, then went to the sheriff's office to have them serve him.  I told the lady of my concerns and she said she would talk to the dispatch supervisor (who happens to be a friend also!) to make them aware of the situation and that they pass it on to the deputies.

Then I get called out to an accident yesterday afternoon, and one of the deputies on the scene said 'I hear we're going to be watching out for you this weekend.'  News travels fast in that dept. and it definitely was a GREAT reassurance to know they're there to protect me and DS.

And a bit of irony??  There's 2 deputies on this weekend, the first being the deputy whom I've been talking to and knows the WHOLE story, and the second being the deputy DH hates the most, because he got DH on his first DUI.

I ended up taking DS out of school yesterday around noon, the stress was just too much for him to handle.  He hasn't been sleeping very well either, so I plan to get some mild OTC sleeping pills for him tonight.  I think getting settled and a few nights in our new home will also do wonders for him.  I've kept his half sis and SM updated on what's been going on, too.

This ain't over yet, not by a long shot.  But the bulk of the back-breaking work is done, and I want to thank each and every one of my dear friends here who have kept us in mind these past few days.  I definitely felt your presence and thoughts and can only give you my deep gratitude as a feeble thanks for supporting DS and me.  I think back to that time over 13 years ago, when I basically did this very same thing, but had 1800 miles to do it and only the moral support of my immediate family.  Tho my energy level ain't what it was then (!), the physical and emotional support from my extended family and friends MORE than makes up for it!

God bless each and every one of you!

114
Father's Issues / Monday's the day........
« on: Jan 30, 2004, 12:15:13 PM »
After today, I won't be able to post here until Wed., and by then DS and I will be safely living in our own home/apt.  These last couple days till then will be nerve-racking, but I will get thru it.  I do ask for extra prayers for DS, as he isn't dealing with all this very well, especially at school.  They know what's going on, but there's only so much we can all do to help him with the stress he's feeling.

But when my counselor asked me a couple weeks ago if I was happy, I responded 'We WILL be!'  God bless you all for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  You all have been such a godsend to me, with all your support and love!

Now if I could just get a couple of you big guys and a couple pick-ups to come HELP.........just kidding!!!!!!:-)

115
Father's Issues / Alright guys, help me out here.........
« on: Jan 22, 2004, 05:05:47 PM »
This will be my last weekend with my SS.  This is just breaking my heart!!!  There's NO way I can break down and cry when I give him a hug when he leaves on Sunday, or DH will wonder why.  So I MUST bite my lip and suck it up.  But this poor kid has two totally dysfuntional parents and it just kills me to think of what his future holds.

I have to tell his teacher the week we move (she uses me as a contact person for DH, since he works on the road) as I think she should know, in case she sees SS having problems and can't figure out why.  I also would like to send him a card at school (they have a 'postal system') eventually, to tell him that he had nothing to do with my leaving his dad and that there will always be a special place in my heart for him.

If I can just get thru this weekend, I'm sure DS and I will be okay.  But I can hardly hold back the tears right now, thinking about having to walk away from that boy!


116
Father's Issues / To all my SPARC friends...........
« on: Dec 23, 2003, 05:04:44 PM »
I will be away from a computer for the next few days, but wanted to wish all my friends here a very blessed holiday.  I pray that you all are able to spend it with the ones you love and for strength to those of you who may not.  May God bless you all! :)

117
http://www.iowaamberalert.com/amber1.pdf

Yes, the kids have been found.  The grandparents have CO'd custody.  The reason for imminent danger?  Read what the kids were wearing at the time of abduction and what kind of illnesses/meds they have.  Then understand that this abduction happened at approx. 7:30 in the evening, with temps. in the teens and wind chill factors below zero and about 6-8 inches of snow on the ground.

As for the parents, I haven't heard the whole story on that, but note that the alert mentions:  'A court order state that the children are in imminent danger.'


118
Father's Issues / Update and thank you........
« on: Dec 01, 2003, 01:49:44 PM »
First, I want to thank all my WONDERFUL friends here who kept me and my family in their prayers.  It DOES work!

Without going into a lot of detail, suffice it to say that there were/are problems and that I had been considering making an emergency move with DS last week over the holiday.  The emergency status has been alleviated for the time being, with your thoughts and prayers, but the move itself isn't quite totally out of the picture yet.  Much remains to be seen.

One thing I CAN tell you with a certainty is that if there are problems, PLEASE seek help!  Guys especially, I know how hard it is for you to ask for help or to seek counseling, I know that many men think that they can take care of the situation or that it isn't as serious as it appears.  Listen with your heart and NEVER ever consider it a weakness to ask.  It is more of a weakness to avoid it till it gets so bad that the situation may be unfixable.  That's why I've gotten into the situation I'm in, by refusing to acknowledge the problem WAS as serious as it is.  I'm just as guilty!

I have joined a support group and now in counseling.  I am taking care of ME.  Cuz if I don't, no one else will.  I still don't know how all this will turn out eventually.   But in the end I will be able to look myself in the mirror, know that I did everything that 'I' could, and have no regrets.

And I know I've told you two this before, but I want the WHOLE world to know:

Indy and MK, you are both ANGELS!!!!!!!!!!:D

119
Father's Issues / To all my SPARC friends..................
« on: Nov 25, 2003, 09:09:06 AM »
I am currently going thru a personal crisis.  I can't talk much about it now, not knowing what the outcomes might be.  This feels strange to be asking, as I've always considered myself as pretty self-reliant, but I also know the power of prayer.  So I am asking you, my friends, to say a prayer for DS and I, that we make it thru this tough time.  With the love and prayers from all our friends, I know we will make it thru!

God bless each and everyone of you!

120
Father's Issues / Help with new format!
« on: Nov 24, 2003, 03:08:07 PM »
I can't figure out the 'Avatar' thingy!  Either I get a blank window when I click on the selections, or an error message.  Does that mean there's something wrong on my end (like the user)? ;(

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