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Hi Soc,

I truly appreciate your advice and opinion.  Many thanks as always.

The latest is this.  CP and NCP talked.  NCP brought up possibility of a bond.  CP balked at that.  NCP then asked for (a) notarized letter from landlord and employers for continued lease and employment (b) legally-binding agreement that both children will be returned to the country at such date and that one of the kids' passport will be surrendered back to NCP upon return and (c) complete travel itinerary and contact info where the children can be reached.  Would you believe that CP balked at all of that, too!?  I mean, from my point of view, these are hardly assurances because the second they step out of the country, these things will be extremely difficult to enforce, if at all.

CP's response to NCP was something to the tune of "not worth the efforts to satisfy your conditions".  I thought that was mighty interesting. :-)

Once again, I find a little victory in knowing that my gut feeling always serve me right.  

Thank you!

what you're saying.  However, I doubt that CP has real assets nor is capable of forking out a bond for this purpose.  In absence of that, could NCP then include the following on the stipulated agreement?

1. Immediate halt of child support should the kids fail to return on the said date ;
2. CP to lose any right to petition for retroactive child support and no arrears will be assessed to NCP at all ;
3. Custody to be automatically reversed once children are located and returned to the U.S. ;
4. CP to be responsible for all legal costs incurred by NCP in pursuing children's return to the U.S.

Additional questions are:

5. How likely that the above points will stick and be granted by the judge?  Divorce and CS order were done in State A and all parties are in State B now.

6. As another stipulation, NCP would like to add for CP to facilitate more time with the kids by splitting their travel 50% on future dates.  Can that be included in the agreement as well?

7. In your legal opinion, how can NCP best draw this stipulated agreement?


Soc, I know it looks kinda weird that the thought of allowing the children to travel outside the country will even be considered.  Trust me, the fear of the unthinkable is always haunting but times have changed since five years ago.  The kids are older and the bond with NCP has been developed.  NCP would like to demonstrate good will, faith and "trust" even if it seems like that's the stupidest thing to do -- all for the sake of the children.  If the unthinkable happens, then consequences will just be faced.  The children will be adults someday and will likely seek continued relationship with their NCP.

Thank you again for your reply.  Your help is greatly appreciated!

allowing minor children to travel outside the country for vacation.  Length is supposedly one week only.

Five years ago, CP wanted to relocate children but NCP fought against it and won.  Now, in an effort to jointly work together for the children and try to put the "ugly" things behind, NCP is willing to allow this vacation for the children BUT NOT without a stipulated agreement and order.

What would you suggest NCP draw in that stipulated agreement?

Thank you for your input and advice.  It's greatly appreciated as always. :)

on http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/index.shtml.

At this point, my guess is that parties will need to write up their own.

In that case, could you advise on what the structure of the agreement should be?  What important bullets or sub-sections need to be there?

Sorry for my inexperience but thanks so much for the help!

Thanks, Soc!  Hope your vacation went well. :-)

Could you, by any chance, provide an example of a stipulated agreement done in proper form?  

Thanks, again!

Hi Soc,

Hope you're having fun with your vacation.  I would love to hear from you as soon as you get back (or get another chance to be near a computer :-)).

We may be in a situation where we need to write up a stipulated agreement.  Having no experience with it, I'll take a stab and have you review and dice later if you don't mind.

Anyway, my questions are:

1.) Does the stipulated agreement need to be filed in court and signed by a judge before it can be enforceable?

2.) How fast/slow of a process is it to have a judge sign a stipulated agreement?

3.) Do we file in the county where the children are or where the father is?

4.) Can the parties sign the stipulated agreement in front of a notary (instead of lawyers) and have that binding in court?

5.) Is a stipulated agreement valid without a judge's signature and without it being filed in court?  How can that be enforced?

I'm sure I'll have more questions later.  I ask for your patience. :-)

Thanks!

:)

Hi Soc,
I posted about this in detail on the Second Families board.  I'll give you the short version for your opinion/advise from a legal standpoint.

My stepson is failing 7th grade.  On top of that, he is exhibiting such defiant and disrespectful behavior towards his parents/stepparents and I'm assuming other adults as well.  Ex wife is at her wits' end and would like for stepson to live with his father TEMPORARILY -- until this school year is over.  My husband is on active duty military and will go back to sea deployment early next year.  

Questions are:

1. What is your professional and personal take on temporary arrangements like this?  How beneficial or detrimental is this for my stepson?


2. If husband goes for this temporary arrangement, what is your best advice for him legally on how to handle child support and visitation (with none or very minimum court costs involved)?  Per divorce order, he is to do 100% of travel.  Stepkids currently live 6 hours away.

3. Without hiring lawyers and going to court, can husband and ex wife draw up an agreement over details of this TEMPORARY arrangement, have it notarized and honored by the courts?  Would you recommend this path?

4. Boarding/specialty/military school was brought up in a past conversation between husband and ex wife.  We know that costs lots of $$$ which we probably don't have.  But, if this is what would work for stepson, how would you advise us to handle this so costs is equally divided between the two households?

5. If #4 happens, won't there be a change in child support?  What is the best way to handle that?

6. Stepson is currently seeing a psychotherapist according to his mother.  How much does the court value a psychotherapist's findings or recommendation when it comes to custody changes?  Is a custody change possible given that father is on military active duty?

Thanks, Soc.  NCP hopes that the CP gives this proposal of temporary change of custody a chance for the sake of SS.  I doubt it's going to happen but it can't hurt to "hope".

Have a good weekend!

Soc,

SS is not doing too well in school.  Recent report card shows Cs, Ds and Fs.  CP and NCP had a long discussion to where NCP proposed for SS to live with NCP.  CP did not provide an answer.  State is FL.  SS barely passed last year and it' s looking like that might happen again this school year.  Worse, SS might even fail this grade.

Questions are:

1) Does SS failing in school like that constitute a change of custody?  

2) What is NCP's burden of proof here?  

3) Can NCP submit a proposal in court to temporarily change custody for SS due to the situation and the fact that CP lacks the skills and abilities to help SS with school?  CP admits reliance on SS to report what schoolwork he has done and completed.

4) SS and SD are normally home alone after school.  We suspect they are also left home alone on weekdays without school because CP and spouse are working.  There really is no direct supervision/guidance regarding schoolwork.  How can NCP best demonstrate that in support of changing custody?

5) Should NCP wait until SS fails the grade before taking any action here?  What would you recommend?

Thanks a million!