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Topics - wallyworld

#1
Orignal order (from when she had custody and I paid support) still in place regarding tax deductions.  We alternate.  This is my year, Her's will be next.  Her mother pays NO support and barely sends her gifts for holidays.  She lives with me 10 out of the 12 months (the other two months she visits her mom in FL, but doesn't stay with her-stays with her grandparents).

Does the court order trump the "whoever has the child the most" card?  Will I have to take it to court to get the deduction and child tax credits?  I do NOT want child support from her as it would make my life much more difficult in the long run...
#2
I have had custody now for a year and a month. The custody agreement signed by judge states "temporary custody shall be awarded to the father with the mothers right to visit the child at any reasonable time and place"--the original document stated CUSTODY-not temp-but she crossed it out and wrote temporary next to it.--

She also did NOT agree to IL being the homestate, but did not contest (ie cross out and change) that IL had the jurisdiction to change the original custody agreement.

She did however agree thatt she did NOT have to pay child support (obviously) BUT she disagreed that I should get the tax deduction every year-- SO the orignal order that states they alternate it stands.

 ALso, not sure if this matters or not but she forgot to cross out and write NOT AGREE/Temporary above the portion of the order under "it is herby ordered" that custody is awarded to the father. So really it is not 100% clear whether we have regualar custody or temp. We've consulted our attorney in IL and a FL one and they are both unsure.

So we get to claim daughter for 2007. BUT in 2008 her mom does. IT IS NOT FAIR! She pays NO support for her and only sees her for about 2 months out of the year. When I was non custodial I paid support and still paid support during the 3 months out of the year we had her.

So do you think we should go back to court and at least have it chaged that we get the tax duduction every year--- unless she starts paying support OR should we let it go as it may open a can of worms due to the wording of the order????I think I need to get the order clarified stating i have custody now, not temp, as I have had her over a year...but again everything is going smoothly I'd hate to have her screamin mad again...
We had no problems sending her down for xmas break and getting her back...

#3
Child Support Issues / WWYD? would you pay it?
Jul 12, 2007, 06:40:22 AM
Not really a question, but more of a rant!  So I get a call from my daughter's grandfather (ex's dad).  My daughter is in FL visiting them now.  Well when he bought the ticket roundtrip (notice how he does everything not his daughter) i told him i'd pay 1/2.  He said no, I nicely rejected his offer and paid on 1/2.  For some reason he either told me or i'd thought he said that he paid 230 something roundtrip NOT including the 80 for the unaccompanied minor fee.  he hadn't yet purchased the unaccompanied minor portion of the ticket yet.  So that brought the total to  my 1/2 would be about 155, right?  Well I had a credit on when I cancelled her ticket in Dec.  So I went ahaead and paid the 80 on the unaccompanied minor fee and then I sent them a check for 75.00. Bringing my total to 155.

 When I call to talk to my daughter he told me "im very embarrassed by this but you will be getting a letter from my wife"  I was like.  Um okay. He then stated. She thinks you didn't pay your share on the ticket.  he said, as far as im concerned where're even.  I was like no, where does she think I came up short.  He than said, me and her were "discussing" things and i think she misunderstood me.  

What im thinking is because I paid the unacompanied minor fee and she didn't SEE the money that I just paid it, she didnt' realize I did pay it.  He also told me that the ticket was for 162.00  So it looks as if I did short them 15.00 and I WILL send them acheck for it with a calculation for dear old grandma.  It makes me MAD because here I am NOT GETTING A DIME TO SUPPORT MY DAUGHTER from her mother.  ANd if you ask me it should be my ex calling me/writing me a letter not them.  I didn't have to let them have my daughter the entire summer ykwim.  She hasn't even seen her mom but ONE TIME since she's been there.  BUT i wouldn't withhold her from them-   Im supposed to get hte letter today.  I wll let you know what it says!

eta:  I believe that she is also gonna ask for the 50.00 dental bill.  The gma set up the appt. for me as my daughter wasnt' gonna be back to IL until 2 days before school starts and she needs one for the sixth grade.  The divorce decree states that my ex is to pay for 1/2.  Should I only send 25 of that or just buck up and send it all because it was me that asked her to schedule the appt.  BUT it was them that wanted her to stay so long and in turn leave NO Time for anything cuz when she gets back it's back to school for her!
#4
I just did a search of my username in the post search.  I am literally in tears now rereading all the different emotions I have gone through the past 5 years that I have been on this board.  I found posts from when I hadn't seen my daughter in 2 years due to visitation interference.  Everything looked so bleak like there was no light at hte end of the tunnel.  I found posts were my ex was trying to nail my butt to the wall milking me for every dime of child support she could get.  I found posts were I had "won" my day in court because I got good visitation and child support jurisdiction was held in IL.  

I would NEVER have believed that I would get my daughter again.  I would never have believed that in 5 years I would have CUSTODY.  I saw so many posts that really helped me.  Posts mostly from the same people.  I was just curious as to if there people still frequent these boards and what is going on with their cases.  

Obviously there is mixed- youve been with me since I began here.
what about wendl, mysonsdad, stpauliesgirl, ref, MKx2- sorry if I missed any of the oldies.  Just curious as to who is still around and if you all remember me!
#5
Im in IL ex is in FL-  

child support for ME when ex had custody was set at 301 bimonthly at me making approx. 25,000 gross per year.

NOw that I have custody ex makes 24000 a year and pays 0.  

So right now I've had custody for almost 7 months.  Right now my daughter is visiting her grandparents and MAYBE mom for the summer 2.5 months.  When I didn't have custody the visitation was reversed and I had my daughter the entire summer.  Child support FINALLY stopped being taken out of my check on JUNE 1.  So my ex got child support when custody was mine from jan 1- june 1 totalling approx. 1500 dollars.  not a lot, but still.  She was supposed to send back any checks received from the state depos.  YEah right that never happened.

When I first filed for divorce 6 years ago.  I also filed for child support (for my ex).  It was set.  Ex was mad that it was only 140 a month.  But I worked at walmart and only mad 9 per hour and worked 25-32 hours a week.  When I lost the first custody fight shortly after I went into walmart management and made approx. 32000 a year.  Ex went immed. for a child support mod and it was based on a year starting fromt he date filed so child support was set at 301 per month for 25000 a year.  

During this time I lived in a 300 square feet eff. apartment with my new wife paying only 250 per month in rent.  When my daughter came to stay with me and my wife got pregnant I upgraded into a modest home 860 sqare feet with mortage payment of 500.  It was diff. to pay all bills with child support but I budgeted around it.

NOw that I have custody.  Ex has not sent ANY money and child support was set at 0 because she had no job.  Well she got a job about 3 months ago and makes 25,000 a year, but my lawyer doesn't want to go after child support because :

1.  ex got evicted for not paying rent (her name is not on lease only her husband) and she's living from hotel to hotel and at her sisters.

2.  it will make me look bad taking money from her

3.  She's on medicaid

4.  she has an infant son.

5.  She's broke

6.  Has no cell phone or any phone because her bill got too high and she couldn't pay it.

S0 here's my question.  

1.  Why the double standard?  HELLO I made 25000 lived in a 300 sqare foot home, had an infant, paid for ALL unpaid medical benefits resulting in hospital debts in the 1000s BUT was GOOD with my money and budgeted well.

Here she was living in a 1200 dollar a month apartment, spends hundreds monthly on manicures and clothes, tans daily, had a nose job, basically blows her money having no sense of adult responsibility.  Her husband is a pilot making 60000 she makes 25000 she shouldn't even be getting medicaid, but is.  But because she is horrible with money all her own fault she's not held responsible for her daughter and shouldn't pay child support.  Why?  if it were me they'd nail me to the wall milking every dime they could!

#6
i have a temp (or maybe perm-not sure as in the "facts" section it states temp custody, but in the ordered section it states "custody") custody AGREEMENT- although my ex isn't in agreement anymore.
 
My daughter is set to visit her maternal family in FL for the ENTIRE summer.  about 2.5 months to be exact.

I am in IL, ex is in FL.  when I paid CS IL had jurisdiction and did all the calcs- she tried to get it changed to FL, but lost.

1.  Which state will figure her cs, IL or FL? I will file in IL though, i do know that.

2.  SHould I wait till after my daughter is returned (actually scared that mom is going to try to keep her as she says she is because i "tricked" her into signing the agreement) to IL from FL to file?

the order says taht she doens't have to pay cs until she finds a job.  Well she found one making roughly 28000 a year.  FL calcs that to be at 400 a month, IL figures it to be 300.
#7
Child Support Issues / insurance and kidcare
Jul 30, 2006, 07:53:11 AM
[posted on soc as well.  It's me wally, im back :(]

I live in IL (divorce originated in IL) Ex and child lives in FL (visitation order/transportation now has FL jurisdiction. IL retained jurisdiction over childsupport (which has insurance order listed for it to be provided by me).

Ex didn't understand that with insurance there is usually a deductable AND copay-out of pocket expenses. My insurance WAS 500 ded., but I recently changed it to 100.

Well that wasn't good enough for ex. She didn't like paying at all. So I am assuming that she applied for kidcare through florida as she asked me to drop my daughter from my policy so she could get her on kidcare-- I ademently RUFUSE.. She didn't tell them that I have my daughter insured. (I am assuming). She hasn't used my insurance in over 2 years; hence, why I believe she is using kidcare. So I have my daughter on my policy and use it when she is here for the summer.

1. Can I get in trouble if she did indeed file for benefits and lied about my daughter NOT having benefits provided by me?

2. CAn she get in trouble.

3. Should I call kidcare and tell them? I don't want to get in trouble.

4. What is the outcome usually for stuff like this?

5. Does it matter that I am in IL and she is in FL (as is my daughter?)
#8
Okay.... New order/amount was supposed to be deducted May 14 via wage withholding.   For some reason court NEVER sent over the new income deduction order to my employer.  I contacted them and they said a court order would suffice HOWEVER that because I was quitting employment with them it would be pointless at this time to enter it cuz by the time they got it started my employment with them would be over.  

So I have been paying the difference at my local court house.

The order mentioned that I could either pay the arreage off at once or pay 27 biweekly until it was paid in full.

I opted to pay it in full and did so.

Sooo.  Today I got to pick up my last check and  under garnishment where it usually says 70 it said O.

BUT....

There was a new deduction for this:  FAM/CHILD CSFX  with the amount of 163.00--- This is the first time this has EVER appeared on any check.

WEll I did the math = My new cs order of 136 biweekly + 27 for arrearge (even though it SHOULDN"T be deducted as I already paid it) equals 163.  So am assuming that the courts FINALLY sent it to Walmart BUT of course didn't notifiy them NOT to withhold the 27 for arrearege cuz I already paid it.

I sent my new employer the court order with a cover letter stating to NOT deduct the arrearage as I have already paid it in full ; so hopefully lthe correct amount will be deducted when I finally receive my first paycheck.

1.  Does anyone know what FAM/CHILD CSFX is.  Does it appear on any of your paystubs\?  Do you think that I am right in assuming it is the amount for the new child support amount + arrearage?  (What is throwing me off is the fact that my child support taken out is always listed next to garnishment.

2.  How do I get my 27 dollars back.  May seem trivial to you guys BUT i am NOT willing to pay her 1 dollar too much as she has made my life a living hell and has cost me over 10,000 in lawyer fees alone just to see my daughter!
#9
Child Support Issues / NOT DONE! CHANGE OF EVENTS
May 18, 2005, 06:40:12 PM
Okay, facts:

new order entered April 25, 2005.  IM in IL she's in FL.  IL has jurisdiction.  They aren't taking out the new amount as of yet.  I will find out tomorrow why and how to ensure they do.

I was just offered a job with the railroad.  The training starts out the same as I make now.  But it has a lot more income potential that what I have now.

I obviously know that child support services will be notified.

1.  How do I get the railroad to withhold the child support?
2.  How do I get an income deduction order if that is what I need?
3.  Do I have to notify my ex of the new job.
4.  Will child support notify her?
5.  Can she ask for a modification one month after a new order?
#10
I am sure many of you remember me. I have a psycho ex who until last year withheld visitation for approx 2 years. She lives in FL me in IL. She gave me our then 5 year old in 2002 due to "not having time nor money for her". I took my daughter happily and still paid child support to my ex. Then I made a mistake or should I say my then attorney. My daughter told me her mom physically abused her. I went for custody, but bcause my daughter hadn't resided in IL for 6 months (only 5) my ex got her back. (it was my ex's parents behind everything becasue they had bascially been raising her in FL)

Then the visitation interference began. I went to FL 3 times from IL to see my daughter each time visitation was denied. Then in April of last year we went to court and this happened:

I was awarded every FULL summer
Every even xmas
every even yeard spring break

and...

my ex has to do 1/2 the driving during summer (good as before I have done it all)

ANd Child support was to retain IL jurisdiction.

I got my daughter last summer and for the first time i got to spend xmas with her in 2004

now child support has been figured:

I have to pay 136 bi weekly (before I paid 70) BUT it is still A LOT less than I should her attorneys mistake--- OH WELL!!!

I have to pay 924 retro because the new amount is dated back to when she filed BUT they are subtracting 324 due to her oweing me that amount in unpaid DR bills... So again 600 is much better than 924!

AND the kicker which makes everything much much much better:

I get to claim my daughter for income tax purposes every odd year! YEAH! YEAH YEAH-- This was done per agreement wtih my ex as she didn't want to ocme to IL for an actual court date!

I feel that I have WON cuz this is much fairer than what she tried to con me out of last year my using my daughter as a pawn ( 450 per month cs, me doing all the driving, and no income tax deduction, FL jurisdiciton)

Tell me what you think!


I am done at last......
#11
Myex wife (who resides in FL) has finally hired an Illinois attorney to modify the child support in Illinois. We received this from her attorney:

A request for documents ( W2s etc...)

A Financial Affidavit was also included.

A motion to modify child support due to my income increasing and the expenses of the minor child increasing.

Here is the exact motion:

Comes now, respondent herein, EX WIFE, by and through her undersigned attorney, james e , and for her motion to modify child support1.
1. An order was entered in this matter on or about april 21, 2001 in which child support was set at 70.00 per BI MONTHLY pay period, based upon pertioners BI MONTHLY income of 703.66
2. A substantial chage in circum. has occurred since the entry of the judgment to wit:
a. The respondent (ex) verily believes the income of the petitioner (me) herin has increased.
b. the expenses of the minor child has increased.
.3. Petitioners obligation to pay child support should be LOWERED to reflect his current income.

Wherefore, the Respondent respectfuylly requests child support should be increased to the relevant statutory amount.

signed _____ her mixed up attorney


In the motion on the second number he states that a substantial change in circumstance occured in that my income has increased and the expenses of the minor child increased Furthermore in number three the lawyer typed a typo he wrote... Petitioner's (me as I was the origninal petitioner for the divorce) obligation to pay child support should be LOWERED to reflect his current income. Obvisouly he meant to say Increased.

Also in the beginning of the motion he states my BI MONTHLY income in 2001 was 703.66. THat is totally untrue. My cs agreement states that My BI WEEKLY inocme was 703.66 NET.


I have no problem with her child support being highered (as I make more money than i did then); however, I have our daughter for 1/4 of the year (all summer) and many long holidays.

She still recieves child support when I have our daughter for the long holidays

I do 3/4 of the driving to pick her up for our visitaiton.

I will be paying for for my daughter 100% when she resides with me over the summer.

I pay medical premiums and out of pocket expenses

I DO NOT claim her on our taxes.

I have to supply 100% of her clothing during our visits due to the mother providing clothing/shoes that doesn't fit or that is stained (I have recipts for clothing I purchased) I only have ONE pic. of a pair of jeans that do not fit as my computer crashed and all my other pics were deleted. It was ordered in April that SHE provide clean clothing that FITS etcc.. So she is in contempt at this...

Also with my current finances I have NO leftover money in my account as I have been bouncing checks weekly due to high medical/lawyer bills.


--In the paperwork tha attorney sent me it is NOT listed anywhere about how I could put in a request to diviate from the guidelines.

1. How do I include a request to diviate from the guidlines and request the child as an exemption on MY taxes with the paper work he gave me (he gave me NO petition only a motion)?

2. Do I return copies ONLY to her attorney of do I submit copies to the court as well.

3. What is the diff. between a motion (as this is what I recieved) and a petition?

4. Antything else that you think may help my case of what I need to do.

5. how do I go about asking for the child exemption for taxes?

6. Does the typo mentioned above mean anything and what do I do to correct hwere he listed BI MONTHLY instead of BI WEEKLY?

 
#12
Just wondering.  If we go back to court (she lives in FL me in IL) in IL (I won in fl court IL keeps jurisdiciton!)  for a child support mod. what is the probability in IL that I will get the support prorated due to having my child the entire summer and long school holidays (aprox 1/4 of the year)?  I also pay for the med. premiums 100% and have been paying most medical fees.  Also, what is the probability that I will get the claim the deduction on taxes as well?  I figure I have her for 1/4 of the year AND pay child support  that I should be able to at least claim her every other year.  What do you think.....
#13
Dear Socrateaser / Does anyone else....
Feb 13, 2008, 11:00:00 AM
Keep looking on the socrateaser board in hopes that the real soc has reappeared?  I know I do!
#14
Dear Socrateaser / Medicaid Fraud
Jun 10, 2007, 07:41:06 AM
I have custody.  My child support FINALLY stopped!  YEAHH!  My daughter flew approx.  one week ago for her summer visit to her mom.  Although, she is staying with gparents, not mom, about 6 hours from mom.  maternal gma set up dental exam for me in FL (im in IL) as when daughter comes back it will be approx 2 days before school resumes.  Well, I sent my insurance info and gma said.  No need for it as ex has MEDICAID for everyone!  Ummmm..... Ive carried insuarce on daughter for the 10 years she's been alive!  She used to use it (like 5 years ago) but then stopped.   I obviously use my insuarance when she's with me.  THe other thing is I don't even see HOW my ex is eligible for medicaid for the whole family.  She's married to a pilot who makes 60000!!!!  CAn i be held responsible for her using medicaid on my daughter?????? what should I do.  SHe knowingly lied to get benefits.  This makes me so mad.  I have like thousands of dollars of debt to medical providers and I pay them.  Then people liek her get a free ride when the shoudln't!!!
#15
copy and pasted this from old post so you remember my situation:
Do I have temp or perm custody....Update again...."


"She hasn't appealed it yet, not has she gotten an attorney to contact ours. Exactly how long does she have to appeal the decision (we are in IL).

In the "the court finds section"
THis is what SHE agreed and disagreed to on the "court finds section" of the agreement (which my lawyer made a clean copy and he signed)-- FYI my attorney didn't change ANYTHING. She signed her document 5 times because each place it had her name without her new married name, she wrote her married name next to it.

Agreed that IL had jurisdiction to hear custody case previously ruled to in the state of FL---- she didn't circle this and write anything next to it. So it stood.

Disagreed that IL was the homestate-- because she agreed to IL having jurisdiction I don't think that mattered...

Disagreed that I have custody and wrote temp. next to it.

In the It is herby ordered section this is what she circled and how it was written on the clean judge signed copy.
It is ordered that:
Custody transferred from mother to father-- she did'nt circle anything and write anything so my attorney kept it the same (no temp. written next to it)

My cs stops -- she wrote agrees to that is in the new order

She doesn't pay cs-- or course she agreed to that

I get the tax deduction for now on --- disagreed so left out and it will still be every other year alternating as that is what current court order gave me.

So do I have temp. or perm custody? as in the "finds" section it says temp. and in the "ordered section" of the order it says "custody".""

1.  She never appealed it!
2.  lawyer has cancelled appt. 2 times and my daughter is set to leave in ONE WEEK
3.  appt. with attorney is now scheduled for tomorrow!
4.  Is it safe to send daughter now that she didn't appeal it?
5.  is there ANYTHING she can file in FL to regain jurisdiction there? or will everything have to be filed here?
6.  she is now working.  making about 28000 a year.  The order says no child support until she finds job and then she must notify me within one week.  Ive done the calcs. and IL she would be paying me 300 or so.  and in fl. she would pay 400.  Should I file now or when my daughter comes back after summer?  Which state will figure it IL or FL?  When she had cusotdy IL figured it...(she's in FL and always has been, ive always been in IL)
#16
She didn't.  Do you think there is anyway she can keep her over the summer with the document now?   She has to file in IL right for anything because IL regained custody jurisdiction.  Still technically when she leaves on JUne 5 th for visistation during the summer she will have not lived here for 6 months.  But does that really matter with my custody agreemetn now that says that IL has jurisdiction that had previously been ruled to be int he state of FL>  What would you do.  I don't have my appt. with the attorney until next week as he couldn't get me in earlier.   still unsure if I have temp or perm. custody..
#17
She hasn't appealed it yet, not has she gotten an attorney to contact ours.  Exactly how long does she have to appeal the decision (we are in IL).

In the "the court finds section"
THis is what SHE agreed and disagreed to on the "court finds section" of the agreement (which my lawyer made a clean copy and he signed)-- FYI my attorney didn't change ANYTHING.  She signed her document 5 times because each place it had her name without her new married name, she wrote her married name next to it.

Agreed that IL had jurisdiction to hear custody case previously ruled to in the state of FL---- she didn't circle this and write anything next to it.  So it stood.

Disagreed that IL was the homestate-- because she agreed to IL having jurisdiction I don't think that mattered...

Disagreed that I have custody and wrote temp. next to it.

In the It is herby ordered section this is what she circled and how it was written on the clean judge signed copy.
It is ordered that:
Custody transferred from mother to father-- she did'nt circle anything and write anything so my attorney kept it the same (no temp. written next to it)

My cs stops -- she wrote agrees to that is in the new order

She doesn't pay cs-- or course she agreed to that

I get the tax deduction for now on --- disagreed so left out and it will still be every other year alternating as that is what current court order gave me.

So do I have temp. or perm custody?  as in the "finds" section it says temp. and in the "ordered section" of the order it says "custody".

Help please.

how long does she have to appeal?  anyone have any estimations?


#18
Dear Socrateaser / me again...
Apr 21, 2007, 02:18:18 PM
ok she's fuming.  She says I blackmailed her (not sure how) and "tricked" her into signing. that she has an attorney who said the document will be void.  She had the document for 4 months.  Looked at it VERY closely and decided what she agreed and disagreed on.  Signed the docment like 4 times (changing where they had her maiden name to her married name as well as the sign. spots).

My attorney wrote up basically word for word what she put.  The judge signed it.  

What are the chances she can get her back now?  How could she appeal it?  What would the grounds be?

BTW:  I didn't notice eariler on the the document shc signed that she did NOT circle and write disagree on the part that said tha IL is the proper authority for jurisdiction which had previously been ruled in the state of FL.

She did circle the fact that said the home state is now IL.

So my attorney just omitted the part that said IL is the home state.  So basically she never disagreed to jurisdiction in the first document.

what would you do?

She is calling cussing and her new husband is threatning me.
#19
edited in case she's searching
#20
Well,  My attorney asked if I would agree to what she changed (circled and wrote agree or dissagree) on the stipulation.  The only thing she changed basically was disagreeing to custody and writing TEMPORARY next to that--so temp. custody.  AND disagreeing that IL has juristdiction (technically IL does not until june 26th).  So I said I would if temp. custody usually ended with it being perm.--lawyer said much easier to have temp custody turn perm.  that going through a court battle figuring child's best interests and mom being unfit.  HE was def. NOT sure that the judge would take it.  So basiclally I had to agree to temp. and that IL is NOT the homestate.  (although, it will be and IL gave me temp. custody)

Well,  The judge said he woudl!!!!  All that has to be done is my lawyer draw up a "clean" copy changing what she stipulated to and then attaching the orinignal paper with her signature to the back.  And it would count!

Well, when I told ex that they took the agreement she FLIPPED saying that she was being a smart a** when she wrote all over it and signed it.  She said there was NO way a judge would take that document as she scribbled all over it.  She said she is keeping her after her summer visitation as she is the mom and only gave her to me because of post partum depression (oh what the 3rd time she's given her away (second to me, once to maternal gparents).  She said "the ball is still in my court and always will be."

so:

1.  If I have temp. custody does that mean she HAS To return her after summer visitation.  The agreement states that the mother shall have all "reasonable" visitation.

2.  What happens if she fails to return her?

3.  Because the docuemnt says that IL is not the home state- but is granting me temp. custody--- can she file in FL over the summer to throw the court order out?

4.  It has her signature on it ALL THE WAY!

5.  How do I make it perm. custody?

When reminded that my daughter almost flunked 4th grade with 2 f's and 2 d's and 43 tardies and 25 absences in one year, AND moving between schools about 6 times in one year.   She stated, that makes for a more well rounded child than one that stays in one town/place her entire life.

She's dumb i know.
#21
She's in FL (again she left NY).  Im in IL.  She gave my daughter to me in 2002 but regained custody when I tried to make it legal.  My lawyer messed up, had us file before the 6 months and we lost

She gave her to me again this dec. 2006, moved to NY without telling anyone, and said she would sign cusody over to me if i had my lawyer draw it up.

she's held onto the drawn up agreement for 3.5 months and then we recieved that below.

Right now it was ordered in 2002 that FL has jurisdiction of custody.  And because she's back in FL from NY im sure that FL still has jurisdiction.

BUT she still signed.  Can a judge ignore her chicken scratch because it is a LEGAL document that was drawn up (through my attorney)?


So I received the SIGNED custody agreement that was for me to have custody.  Well she decided to circle things and write "agree" "don't agree" on it.  She "didn't agree" to the facts part that it was in the best interest to give me to  custody, but wrote temporary next to it.  She didnt agree that IL was the homestate of the minor child.  BUT where it said it is herby ordered:  she forgot to circle and write don't agree on the part awarding me custody.  

She signed the document though.  What will happen.  Will the judge throw it out and laugh at it.  My daughter has onlyu been in IL for 4 out of the 6 required months.  so tech FL still has jurisdiction.

she is not acting like she wants her back.  What should I do?  I would tech. have to return her unless I can hould out until june 26 wihtout sendign her back.  Right now her dad has booked a RETURN flight for june 5th as my daughter misses ALL her maternal family abnd they were expecting a summer visist.
#22
I figured she said she would sing over custody in an agreement that, that would be easier (and not make her on the defensive side) and cheaper than filing an emergecny hearing.  BUT if she hasn't signed within the next week that is exactly what im going to do...
but im a bit confused.. So....

1. Lets say she signs what hte lawyer drew up AND the judge signs it and it is entered in IL court I automatically have custody now AND FL loses jurisdiction?

2.  If she signs it can the judge decide NOT to for any reason?  Why would he?  

3. She signs it and the judge does too.  Can she change her mind without petitioning the court and just come and get her or whould that be considered kidnapping?

4.  SO IL would ask NY for child support enforcment.  Would that be IL guidelines or NY (im in IL, she's in NY, child has never resided in NY)?
#23
Dear Socrateaser / Interstate Custody
Jan 14, 2007, 07:42:51 PM
Im in IL. Child is in IL with me Since Dec. 26 2006.  Mother moved to NY over xmas vacation without notifying anyone including me, our daughter, and her family in FL.

 FL has jurisdiction of custody proceedings.  IL has jurisdiction of child support matters.  

My IL attorney drew up an agreement that switches custody me to and grants IL custody jurisdiction from FL.

Mother is having cold feet when it comes to sign it as she doesn't like the perm. nature of the agreement because "it's hard to just give her up when ive had her for 9 years"  Although that's exactly what she's done TWICE to me and ONCE to the grandparents.

In 2002 she gave her to me and then we had huge court battle because I alleged she abused our daughter as the change of circumstance needed as it hadn't been 2 years.(she got mad)and I lost due to IL not having jurisdiction because she only lived in il 5 months.

I don't want to screw this up, this time.

Lets say she changes her mind and WONT sign the agreement.
I "think" I have her new NY address (although she won't tell me it out loud or through email) on a package she mailed our daughter

I am scared to wait the 6 months needed for IL to be the home state due to summer happening the month before and she wants my daughter to visit when school lets out.  Im scared she'll change her mind and decide to keep her.

1.  what is my next step to get custody?
2.  CAn I still file an emergency hearing on the fact that she moved to NY without notifying anyone and asked me to keep her even though I think I have her NY address (not sure if it is a motel address or whose it is.  It is listed with her first initial(or her husbands as they have the same first initial) and last name?  
3.  At highly reputable attorney said it would cost approx 7500 to get the emergency order etc... does that sound right?
4.  ANy other advice.
#24
Dear Socrateaser / temporary custody
Dec 31, 2006, 01:28:16 PM
Custody jurisdiction WAS Fl.  I live in IL.  Ex has moved over xmas vactation without telling ANYONE (her family in FL, her daughter, myself etc...)to NY.  She wants me to have my daughter now.  (as you probably recall).  She asked me to keep her before xmas (like 3 weeks ago) but then changed her mind saying she was getting a divorce from her husband instead of moving to NY to be with him.

WEll it was a ploy I am guessing to keep her family from knowing and trying to stop her.  

She is in new york now supposed to be getting an apartment today or tomorrow.

Her family has called me NONSTOP about this because I guess she won't answer the cell phone when they call her. HEr mother (ex's mother) was supposed to pick my daughter up at the airport NOT my ex.

Ex says that she will sign papers but doens't want it to be something perm.  as she may want her back when her husband gets to be a captain (he's a pilot).  BUT she will sign something granting me temporary custody.

eta:  daughter is with me now in IL and has been since dec. 26th

1.  How easy would it be for her to get her back in lets say 3-5 years with me having "temporary" custody.  (as im sure it takes that long)
2.  Does temp. custody orders usually turn out to be perm?
3.  who has jurisdiction now?
4.  would anything have to be filed in FL to give up jursidiction as no one lives there now? or would it all be done in NY or IL?
5.Would she have to file something to have temporary custody reversed back to her (as a court proceeding?)
#25
Custody/Visitation jurisdiction FL
Child support IL

This is the third time that she has asked me to take her for an undetermined amount of time.

(2002) 1st time ended with me filing too early (stupid lawyer) with allegations of her abusing my daughter--- So ex got her back and I got very liberal visitation (at ex's request) Spent well over 10000 on lawyer fees

(Feb 2006) 2nd time ended with her changing her mind and later I found that my daughter resided without her mom and only with maternal g parents.

now Dec 2006-  She has asked me again as now she has a husband who doesn't like my daughter and they have a new 3 month old together--They are having much difficulty that divorce will happen if things continue...

She stated that basically she's choosing the ex instead of my daughter.  Sad I know.  But I am happy.  Most parents on my side will NEVER hear those words.


I know that I will have to wait 6 months before filing in iL for custody--If I decide to actually go that route (scared that ex will change her mind and I'll lose my daughter again (for the 3 time)

She brought up child support.  If I draw up an agreement and she has it notorized to stop cihld support (in IL) will that suffice.

What else should I do?
#26
Dear Socrateaser / sex offender....
Dec 01, 2006, 08:34:43 PM
it appears as if my ex has the fancy's for a businessman that makes a lot of money (250,000+).  Therefore she obviously won't worry about court costs...  

Im in IL she is in FL.  FL holds jurisdiction for custody and visitation.

Well, it appears as if the new flame is a registered sex offender.  He is listed on the fl website.  It says the charge was for:  LEWD,LASCIVIOUS CHILD U/16; F.S. 800.04 (PRINCIPAL)

They are NOT residing together (yet).  

1.  What are the chances the judge would award me physical custody due to his background?

2.  Does it matter if they live together or if they are just "seeing" each other.  

3.  Does it matter that the new guy was charged and pled nolo and adjunication to this was withheld to this when he was 19 (youthful?)?
#27
Dear Socrateaser / what income?
Nov 26, 2006, 08:00:24 AM
Simple question....

IL has jurisdiction.  It is a percentage (net income ) state.  THere is one child the order has jurisdiction over.  The percentage of child support is 20% net income.

1.  What annual inocme, for ONE child, is considered too much and the courts will NOT base 20% on it?
#28
now remember this is the man that 5 years ago paid 20,000 in HER lawyer fees to keep us from getting custody... We lost and she went back to her abusive mom in FL (we live in IL).

Ex's dad called me.  I live in IL.  My daughter resides in FL>
 he called to say that she is (his ex, NOT daughter) is getting beat on a daily basis by her new husband. They have a 3 WEEK old.

 He said the husband is an alcoholic who starts drinking at 9am. HE IS A PILOT. So if you live in the tampa area WATCH OUT if you are flying..... He is only 28 years old....

He is NOT sure if the husband is laying hands on my daughter.

Her husband and her got in an argument with  ex while on the interstate. He started driving 110 mph WHILE the infant (then a week old) was in the car (luckily my stepdaughter was in school) and pulled over and kicked her out of the car WITH THE INFANT! The middle of the interstate! HE NEVER came back to get them! She had to call her sister who was an hour away to get her...
 
He has NO records tthat I can find (arrests)


1.  Is this considered a change of circumstance?
2.  How will this stand up in court if I were to go for custody?
3.  HOw do I document this other than my phone record?
4.  Anything specific I should do with this ifnormation (such as call DCFS or something like that?)
#29
I live in IL (divorce originated in IL) Ex and child lives in FL (visitation order/transportation now has FL jurisdiction.  IL retained jurisdiction over childsupport (which has insurance order listed for it to be provided by me).

Ex didn't understand that with insurance there is usually a deductable AND copay-out of pocket expenses.  My insurance WAS 500 ded., but I recently changed it to 100.

Well that wasn't good enough for ex.  She didn't like paying at all.  So I am assuming that she applied for kidcare through florida as she asked me to drop my daughter from my policy so she could get her on kidcare-- I ademently RUFUSE..  She didn't tell them that I have my daughter insured. (I am assuming).  She hasn't used my insurance  in over 2 years; hence, why I believe she is using kidcare.    So I have my daughter on my policy and use it when she is here for the summer.

1.  Can I get in trouble if she did indeed file for benefits and lied about my daughter NOT having benefits provided by me?

2.  CAn she get in trouble.

3.  Should I call kidcare and tell them?  I don't want to get in trouble.

4.  What is the outcome usually for stuff like this?

5.  Does it matter that I am in IL and she is in FL (as is my daughter?)
#30
Dear Socrateaser / Question on transportation...
Apr 14, 2006, 09:43:07 AM
EX in TX, Im in IL

Daugther has resided in Tx for approx. 3 months (off and on between FL and TX)

Divorce order is from IL

 Visitation order is from FL-transportation issues are address in FL order

CS order is From IL which addresses tax deductions and medical bills

Texas has NO orders

FL order states word for word:

5.  With the exception of christmas vacation, the parties have agreed to a visitation schedule.  The court ratifies and approves the visitation schedule as set forth within, and the parties are ordered to comply therewith.  The father shall enjoy visitation during the summer vacation.  The summer vacation shall begin one week following the last day of school and shall end one week prior to the beginning of the next school year.  The father will be responsible for the costs of necessary to transport the child from FL to IL; and the mother will be responsible for the costs of necessary to transport the child from IL to FL

Ex married a pilot so she DID fly the child (at her expense of 12.00) for my spring break even though I was supposed to be responsible for that.

I had to drive 3.5 hours to Chicago because my daughter can only fly to MAJOR airports for that price.  She had to drive about 1/2 hour to houston to fly her from her current residence.

Now she's mad at me because "I went behind her back and obtained report cards and absence & tardy notices".  I am assuming she will NOT fly my daughter here at her expense for my summer visitaiton

So...

1.  The order states she is to be responsible for costs to transport from IL to FL.  She lives in TX now so does that part still stand that states that she has to get her back after the visitation is over even though the order states FL?

2.  If she books her return flight (as order states she is responsible for getting her back)  to Chicago am I responsible for driving the 7 hours round trip to get her there even though the order states SHE is responsible. I know she will NOT reimburse for ANY travel costs.

3.  If I book a flight to get her to IL can she deny my visitaiton due to having to drive my daughter 1 hour round trip to houston as again the order states I am responsible?

4.  If I have to drive and pick her up at her doorstep I will as the order is kinda vague.  If my ex still books the return flight in Chicago (7 hours or more round trip (like 9 if you include CHI. Traffic) and I DONT drive her to Chicago as I am NOT responsible for getting her back can I be held in contempt?  OR worse be charged the kidnapping?

5.  Can I tell her flat out that I will NOT drive to CHI- have fun driving from Houston to IL unless she can book at the smaller airport an hour away (knowing that she will NOT get her flight there free)?

6.  If I want to get orders clarified can i do so in IL (it was the FL order).  If not which state TX or FL.