Messages

I am posting this here  as I am not certain where else I can post this, as it would  interupt the free flow of conversation.   

I am upset that a poster has belittled my contributions to this site, and has insinuated that I am a newbe...etc....

I am a NALA certified paralegal, I do know how to find, and have even been taught to interpret what the laws mean in real time.  However, since I was certified over ten years ago, I have been plagued with people that wanted free legal resources at my time and liberty.  And, honestly, there is rarely any follow through.

I am more than willing to assist a person that is really interested and invested, however, I am not willing to feed into what I preceive to be more drama....I need for people to engage and do some of the dirty work prior to sticking my neck on the line with my job & my family....

If I do not fit the profile of this community I am more than willing to stop posting and take my support and assistance elsewhere....

Regardless... I believe that you are doing a service and for that I wish you all the best....

Honor,

I read your post this morning and have thought about it all day.... I am not certain what I can say to you except that I feel your pain, (as much as any mother & step-mother can, I think) and would encourage you to take care of yourself and your children at home, as well as attempt to minimize the stress that is being sent to your husband.

I feel like a fool, as I am certain that you are already doing everything you possibly can to achieve that end, however, I feel like I had to say that.  Now, give your self a big hug, (from me and everyone else that wishes we could assist in a more local manner.)

I do not know what services the military offers, but it seems to me that your step-son might be assisted by a program that they sponsor...  contact me with additional information if you want, and I will look into what they offer, or what other programs might be available in your location

I can relate to what you are saying regarding issues with shelters.. as there are liabilty issues...

feel free to contact me and I will see what I can come up with...

Be good to yourself in the mean time....


Best Always...

K

If dad hasn't already made his way to attorney he needs to get himself there asap, courts aren't the way they where years ago, and mother doesn't always know best.

That being said, dad's are afforded an equal right to custody these days.. so chin up, and try not to worry and keep posting, the good people here will attempt to assist you and your father when ever and however they can.

Dad has to respond in a per-stated time frame if he needs assistance, he needs to get to an attorney...

Keep us posted as to how you are doing..

Best Wishes and Angels on your shoulders..

K

I too, would first think comfort and safety, prior to thinking of the unthinkable..... my ex-husband and I were of the "family bed" mindset and such once the kids woke up they joined us in bed, and it really is not that uncommon for kids to sleep with their parents, seperated or otherwise...


Best always, and I will keep you and your girls in my thoughts and prayers...

K

I have to agree with Ocean, it is not your problem that she cannot afford the coordinator, if she wants to move she'll have to get it approved.., make her file,


start saving now so that you can pay for your half....


Good-Luck!

 
Again more links however, they might help you, --- 

Did you file when she violated the order previously?

I would not worry so much about the getting along thing at this point, it was a pretty common excuse used by our local courts about ten years ago, however, things have changed a great deal since then and primary concerns now are that both parents parent their children, and that dad has the opportunity to be activily involved ( absent abuse, etc.).

We do a lot of pro-bono work here in conjunction with the local law schools, and legal aid,  so I would also suggest that you call the local law schools as well as the Local Chapter of Legal Assistants, or Paralegals, ours is attached to the Local Bar association, they might have information of local reduced, free, or evan fee scale schedule resources available.


Just as a side issue, having 50/50 custody does not preclude child support being ordered, I have seen cases were it was called a wash, and likewise, have witnessed the court ordering child -support to be paid if there is a major income disparity between the parties

As to counseling is there anything that is precluding you from taking your daughter to see a therapist during your parenting time? You indicated that she spends one night a week with you.

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/forms/familylaw.htm (http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/forms/familylaw.htm) - california court forms

http://library.uchastings.edu/library/ (http://library.uchastings.edu/library/)- cal

http://lalaw.lib.ca.us/ (http://lalaw.lib.ca.us/)- cal


Best Wishes, K

[is concerned about next year.]

Davy,

Re- read reply four (4)- Dad clearly indicated that he had just completed the summer visitation for this year, and is concerned about next year. 

As previous posters have already given him at times sage and timely advice, I provided a link to the Legal Information Institute at Cornell Law School, which if you had bothered to investigate the site yourself you would have found that they offer free services as well as codes and commentary to those in need. 



And Davy, there is nothing wrong with being joyful....

Have a good one....

Davy, I read that you are as joyful today as you are any other time, I was responding to the following when I posted the link:

"I have been thinking of filing for visitation but am not sure what to do.
   Do I file here or in CO?
   If I want to file to have her all summer school break and every other holiday, is that possible?
   What are the chances that I get what I want?
   Maybe some insight as to how the process works would also be helpful. "

On that note, if dad wants to know where and how, as well as a bit of legal commentary if would be a place to start. 

My advice would simply be to file, without reading the codes myself, I don't know which state has jurisdiction in this matter....

Good Luck and try to have a pleasent day!

K

I too, am a mother (non-custodial & step-mother), and although my relationship with my ex & his new wife and their families, I struggle with my husbands ex wife and at times with his children, (now 20 & 21, when we married they were 9 & 10).

My husband enjoyed visitation with his children on 48 hours notice to his ex, which meant that he had them every weekend, and every day that he had off from work, and the majority of his vacation days.  Once we started dating it all went to heck in a hand basket.... she has had him in court almost non-stop since then...It was so bad that I went took a post BA  American Bar Association endorsed Paralegal Certificate program at Syracuse University, just so that we would know where to find the law and figure out how it applied to his case.

I have to say that at times it has been consuming, to the point that we both wanteed to cry and bang our heads against the wall.  His ex even tried to get my ex to testify for her in court, of course that went over almost as well as a lead ballon would have...my ex likes my husband and knows that he is good for me and in turn good for our children as well.

We have spent way too much time and money in courts (five differant counties - she works for an acting Supreme Court Judge in our home County, so all the local judges have eventually recused themselves), and had both good and bad advice from attorney's along the way, educating yourself on the law might be helpful.  His ex-wife is still extermely difficult, and his children have been pre-condictioned to question, disrespect, and think that they are entitled to a great deal more than they actually need, and also receive.

If you are going to assist him in this endeavor, know as much as you can, and start your research at the link below:


http://topics.law.cornell.edu/wex/table_family (http://topics.law.cornell.edu/wex/table_family)

Best Wishes,

K

Yo:

check out  http://topics.law.cornell.edu/wex/table_family (http://topics.law.cornell.edu/wex/table_family)

they should address the issues that you have concern over...
 

Good Luck!

K