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Messages - Superdottie

#11
I agree it's not right to move 'just because', but we've consulted with an attorney (a well known one) and was told we didn't have enough to get custody. 

Sad but true.  She's piece of crap, but she's the mom.
#12
I'm sure the recordings will be very useful in mediation.  I wonder when BM hears herself if she'll be shocked.  I think many don't realize how harsh they sound, esspeically in front of kids. 

I think it's a great example of BM's behavior and hope it helps you.  We record also.  We live in MN and have the same laws as TN.
#13
I agree it's completely reasonable for your child to be with you vs GF if the other parent is working - esspeically if it's a regular thing.  And given you've had issues with GF, even more reason to get the right of first refusal clause added.

Take care!
#14
Hello!  I used to post under Crockpot...

Does anyone know the law for kids sitting in the front seat of a car?  I can't find it anywhere!  Is it an age thing, or weight and height?

Thanks!
#15
The divorce does not address parents moving within the state.  I like the distance idea.  She could move hundreds of miles away and still be in compliance because she's still in the state.  Luckily she's not doing that and I don't think she would.  She needs people she knows around her to help her out of jams. 

Becuase of the distance of the move DH and ex have to rework the entire parenting plan.  It's too far for the girls to do a midweek overnight.  The commute is through rush hour traffic in a major city.  So with that comes the 'who's going to drive when' conversation (or more like fight).  We plan to stick to the order unless a FAIR agreement is made.  I'm sure it's hard for BM to do more driving, but no one asked her to move!  She's not doing it for a job, she's not doing it for the good of her kids, she's doing it to be closer to her friends.  No bother that you're uprooting two girls (AGAIN) that struggle in school and one has a very hard time making friends. 
#16
Olanna, I wish my DH's ex would acknowledge since she's the one moving she should take responsibility for a majority of the driving!  It's like talking to a wall.  The only time in the last seven years she's agreed to do ANY driving is when she moved close to us.  And then she found an apartment across the street from the meeting point. 

I realize 50 miles isn't a lot to most, but it's going increase the travel time (one way) more than four times.  We're going from 10-15 minutes to over an hour one way. 

The order does currently have pick up/drop off points.  But BM does not want to follow them because it would mean more driving for her once she moves.   

#17
My DH's ex lives about 12 miles from us now and is moving about 50 miles away - back to where she lived 2 years ago.

BM is insisting the driving be split in half.  They've been sharing the driving since BM moved the 12 miles from us (2 years ago).  Prior to that DH did all the driving (no order and BM refused, "you wanna see your kids, you have to come get them - blah, blah..."). 

Logic tells me that the parent who moves, drives.  Or does most of it.  Is that how the courts usually see it?   
#18
Hello all.  I used to post under the name Crockpot for any who might remember me.

I need some input on a situaiton my DH is in.  He is NCP and BM and kids live about 10 miles away.  BM says she is moving the kids 50 miles away.  It's not happening until next summer but she's insisting on getting the new CO figured out. 

Right now, DH has EOW and overnight every Thursdays (and various holidays and 3 weeks in summer).  The move is far enough that the Thursday overnight visit won't be feasible.  The girls are in grade school.

DH and BM have been bickering back and forth in emails about how to reslove this.  BM wants to offer him 2 weekends with the kids and one weekend off (vs the EOW and Thurs nights).  Our calculations show it would reduce DH's time signficantly.  BM's response, the kids are getting older (they're 10 and 7) and they won't want to spend that much time with parents soon anyway.  Oh, and bonds between kids and parents are made young in life so, it's OK if he doesn't seem them that much anymore.   

DH wants every weekend, giving BM the option of 5-6 weekends a year she can keep the girls for family functions.  On average this would be about the same overnights he has now (52 more for the extra 26 weekends = 52 Thurs. he'd miss.) 

So, here we are.  The divorce states they must use a parenting coordinator before going to court.  Since who pays the coordinator is not specified an attorney told us it would be split evenly. 

BM says she can't afford to pay a coordinator.  We can't really either, but we'll manage.

Any suggestions on what to do?  I'm assuming we can go to court and tell the judge BM can't afford a coordinatior, but I'm afraid we'll be stuck with 100% of the bill (because BM wants to move 'just because.') 

Crap, no spell check...  Sorry!