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Any tips or advice on custody trials?  The judge was mad we were even back (so was I) and scheduled a trial for the end of October.  I already have tons of documentation and have referenced articles from this site in preparation.

I'm hoping we can come to an agreement before that but it's always his way or no way, so I doubt we will.  His attorney tried to negotiate in the elevator after pre-trial but we told her to submit it in writing and my attorney and I will discuss it.

Another topic I could use some advice about if anyone has some - he's still collecting UE wages but stated today he is planning on starting his own consulting business and working from home.  I was always under the assumption that this normally required a decent amount of travel but I guess that would depend on the trade.  I haven't heard yet what type of consulting it is. 

He wants to provide "daycare" but I've worked from home (I'm in IT and we have that leisure at times) and I know trying to keep with up with an infant and work is extremely difficult especially during normal business hours.  Most consultants I know still have their child in daycare so they can do business during normal hours.

I agree with Kitty - if you don't do something about it NOW.  You stand the chance that she does hurt the children while under the influence and  you're much better safe than sorry.  File now and do attend meetings, they do help - you're not alone.

My ex-fiance had an alcohol and drug (pills) problem - his mother was a RAGING alcoholic and his dad would pop any pill for any reason.  He went to meetings and I went along for support.  He also sought counseling / therapy and it helped him understand that although his parents chose to do the things they did, he didn't have to follow the same path and could rise above it.  I'll never forget the therapist telling him he's a product of parents....that's all I heard when he decided it was okay for him to drink heavily.

I could no longer endure the situation and left the relationship. 

redbabyblue - what county are you in?

Hi red -

Thanks for the site, it is one that I have not come across.  I've actually been letting my attorney do all the work since I had no experience with it.  And at the time it started, I had no time to really spend while having a newborn.  I haven't found a whole bunch of information in regards to PA let alone my county, mainly other states. 

I have not run into anything regarding our statutes and CPS.  It is my understanding that they are a 3rd party created for child protection and they don't fall under the actual custody statutes.

His UE wages are garnished for his CS so that's a good thing, or it would be a fight to get a dollar from him for anything.  Hoping he gets a job soon to occupy his spare time.

It's a shame you are facing so much in your situation.  I haven't any CPS issues yet but I wouldn't put it past him anymore.

This has been a great sight (at least for me) for insight, support and facts whether I like them or not.

Our judge does award 50/50 but not until they are older, 2+ years (my son is 8 months old).  This last order to go back to court is in retaliation because he wants his child support reduced.  The CS hearing was 2 days before the request for another trial was sent.  Our CS conference officer found no basis for a reduction. 

Keeping in mind, he is also the one who demanded we go thru Domestics, not me.  Just one recent example of what he constantly bickers over - he wanted to put his $98 medical responsibility (per Domestics Policies & Procedures) in his arrears - but yet can keep paying his attorney.....and vacationing on a regular basis while not working.

My son is just a financial burden to him, he has no interest in being a parent.  It just gets old. 

I would file for a modification if it's been going on that long.  I've read more often than not it's based more on a 12 month period but you're close enough.  If your attorney doesn't want to do it for you, find one who will or try and do it yourself. 

Thanks MomofTwo    - will do some more research on our statutes.

Yes, it would be an appeal to the final order that was ordered on 6/1/2009.  The judge slightly modified the temporary order and made it the final order.  Every time the wind blows a direction my ex doesn't like he drags us back into court or our attorney's do the letter game.  No need to go into details but my ex has also neglected my infants needs while in his care which is the main reason he was not awarded more custody.  My ex is also a very vindictive person when things don't go exactly his way.  For someone who is unemployed, he sure has enough money to spend in the court systems.

Davy - I don't know our judge's basis for decisions and if he follows the status quo.  I thought he was pretty fair and listened to both sides prior to making his decision.  He said he doesn't even award 50/50, which is what my ex wants (well actually his latest g/f is the one pushing it or it wouldn't be an issue) until chidren are at least 2 years of age. 

Has anyone (and I'm sure someone out there has :-) ) had the issue of the other parent parent insisting on a custody trial?  We already had our pre-trial conference back in June '09, while his attorney insisted it go to trial, the judge got quite angry with her since he had already told us that wasn't going to happen almost as soon as we sat down.

A week ago I received another request that he is demanding a custody trial and we are scheduled for another pre-trial conference in 2 weeks.  None of our circumstances have changed and the final order has only been in place for a little over 2 months.

Also, would it be worth while that if it does go to trial I request that my ex be responsible for my costs (since he keeps insisting this trial takes place)?  I'm thinking the worst the judge can say is no.

Thanks :-)

kidscomefirst -

Yes, you could be awarded support but it is all going to be based on income to income and the custody split stated in your order.  She will have to disclose if she is receiving aid from the state, they will ask her during your DR conference.  That's why you should try to see if you can have your order modified asap so you can show DR that you do have the children half the time.  I've been thru this 3x in the past 3 months, my ex just won't let it rest that he has to pay support.  I'm not sure how he keeps getting hearings scheduled either, I had thought there was a limit you could appeal during a year period, but I'm not completely sure about that.

If some of your children are old enough (you mentioned one is 11), their decisions may also come into play.  Our judge told us (this changes per judge) that a child's preference can come into play around age 12.

I also have to agree with Momoftwo (because I've done all this in the past 3-4 months in PA), if you are waiting until now to file a contempt order on the address change the judge will probably wonder why you waited so long.  But the other topics you mentioned should have some merit.  They are explicitly defined in my order.

Our judge actually made us "throw stones" at each other during our pre-trial conference I think so he could hear some of the underlying issues/concerns.  But regardless of the situation between my son's father and I, he repeated over and over it is solely what is in the best interest of the child. 

Good luck!