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Messages - CuriousMom

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I'm in PA, too.  It is my understanding that custody and child support are 2 separate entities in our state.  As fas as I know, she can refile at anytime to start her support payments again.  Since you said all of this was never agreed to in writing I don't see how you can stop her going back to DR.  At this point it would go off the original order so I would try to get the original order modified ASAP to show he has had 50/50 over the past year.

As far as her violating the original order's ROFR, you can hold her in comtempt as well as the address change.  At that time, since your fiance has had the children half the time, tell the judge this has been the arrangement for the past 12 months and modify the original order.  I think you'll have to file the contempt and modification seperately but it should be reviewed at one time when your conference is scheduled.  Having 12 months of this schedule already established should work in your favor to have the order modified accordingly.   

I also think her CPS issues over lice will not work in her benefit.  Like they said, lice is not life threatening and the children and their surrounding are fine.

I know as hard as it is to want to reduce the support payments, if it's determined there is one, but in my personal opinion it would be in the best interest of that child who's paternity is unknown to not make the child go thru that.  If she thinks your fiance is the father I would leave it be especially since he is so involved in the child's life.   

From what I've read in the other threads, probably right now there is nothing you can do because the custody decision is so new.  You can't dictate what the other parent does with the children during their time unless they are in an extremely harmful situation.  Then you could push the issue. 
Do you have ROFR in your custody agreement?  If it's a long period of time see if you can have it modified to a shorter period, and if she doesn't adhere to the order then she is in comtempt.
I would document every time it happens and down the road file for a modification for more parenting time.  Also, if your husband would like to spend more time with them and she denies additional visitation, document this so you can show at a later time that you have tried to have more contact and she has refused. 
If they are your husband's parents hopefully your husband would have better access to them anyway.

Father's Issues / Re: Child Support w/ Joint Physical Custody
« on: Aug 14, 2009, 09:35:02 AM »
strawberry -
Try and find out what your state caclulations/requirements are for child support.  I can only speak for the state I'm in, but in PA the custody arrangement you clarified would qualify for lowering support.
But if it's specifically stated that way in your court order I would doubt it could be lowered since Dad agreed.   If it's not stated in the actual court order and was a verbal agreement at the time, I wouldn't see why you couldn't go back and have the file reviewed.  She should have to provide pay stubs and tax returns. 
Again, just be careful she is actually making more so Dad's isn't increased.

Father's Issues / Re: Child Support w/ Joint Physical Custody
« on: Aug 13, 2009, 02:09:44 PM »
Mom has kids every Tuesday night... then every other weekend and every other Monday... but kids come home every weekday morning to attend school/camp. 
-a little confused, almost sounds like they sleep at mom's every night? 
I'm in PA and ours is mostly based on who has overnights, this person is considered to have a higher percentage of custody dictating the DR payment.  But if you have joint physical which should be 50/50 you should be able to request a modification to have it reduced.
Just be careful if you do that though because they do ask for updated income/employment status which could also work in mom's favor.

Custody Issues / Re: Headed to Mediation
« on: Aug 13, 2009, 01:06:05 PM »
My mediation experience was the same.  It didn't matter what was really documented, etc.  It was strictly whether or not we could agree to a schedule and not have to go to court.  Our mediator didn't really care about the additional details.
We ended up in court.

Visitation Issues / Re: In need of some quick advice!!!
« on: Aug 13, 2009, 01:02:29 PM »
I'm at the tail end of the custody battles but I can share with you what I experienced over the past 3 months.  Until you have a temp or final custody order in place, unless your ex and you agree on some overnights, she can deny it and ignore your requests. Doesn't look good for her but at this point she isn't obligated.
In regards to her accusations I would document everything and maybe a friend or family member could be present for awhile just to witness what happens.  Another burden for you but could testify if needed.
I have just gone through the feeding issues with my ex, my son continues to come home hungry and it is very infuriating for me.  Per my attorney's advice we started using a feeding log to track the times and amounts of feedings.  During our pre-trial conference my ex was court ordered to also video-tape these sessions as proof he was doing what he was putting on paper.  So far, that hasn't worked well as he picks and chooses what he decides to email showing my son was fed.  They are 10-second cell phone clips.  I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would be probably be upset if I had to do this, but in my case it's what is in the best interest of my son.

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