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I'm not understanding why the change was that dramatic...that fast, without some other reasons other than the deposition submission.

Sorry this is so long – have a custody trial scheduled within the next week, just waiting for confirmation of the actual date.  So far, schedule has been decided by either a conciliator or the judge.  Last conference with judge resulted in dad's 2^nd insistence on a trial – so judge is giving him one.  In the interim, I received 1 "non-negotiable offer."  The one prior to this offer came with the same letter that went to the judge requesting a 2^nd pre-trial conference.

A little background – father has been laid off/collecting unemployment since 10/26/09, however running at least one business under the table, disclosed a 2^nd self-employment venture at the last conference (judge didn't know about 1^st business).  Please note, money is not my issue or drive – and yes, I do receive CS that is spent for the child.  My lifestyle has not changed due to this extra money.  He also has never participated in anything pre-birth things or basically after and up to this point.
2^nd to last offer/demand (came with letter to judge) – he's going to ask that he provide daycare 5 days a week, keep EOWknd, plus wants 2 overnights a week.  Last offer/demand changed to 2 overnights a week, 2 days a week he provides day care (same day as overnight), keeps his EOWknd but on that Friday he can pick our son whenever he feels like it.
His ultimate goal is to eliminate CS and show he has more time on paper – basically he's one of those people that are just out to "win" regardless of what it pertains to (he's a quantity guy, not a quality guy).  Morals, honesty and responsibility aren't his strong points.  Sorry – had to vent for a sec on that one J.
He currently has EOWknd, 1 week he has M/W from 8-5pm (falls on same week as his weekend) and the opposite week he has M/W 4-7pm.
My offer is as such – and asking everyone's input on the fairness of my proposal.  He retains M/W 8-5pm every week, retains EOWknd with current pick-up/drop-off times. Current holiday's etc. remain the same.  No longer week on week off in summer, but each parent reserves the right to 1 week uninterrupted vacation during the summer, i.e.sometime during the months of June – August.  This week cannot infringe on the other parents holiday.  This week has to be disclosed to the other parent by March 31 (or something like that) and then the travel arrangements, etc. 2 weeks prior to departure.
Reality is, my son goes to bed by about 8pm anyway – so his 2 day visits pretty much equal to what I would have at night (meaning quality time, not quantity).  Once his arrears are paid in full, I would agree to have CS reduced to just daycare/medical expenses since this is provided by me/employer.  There is no reason that I should have less time with my son because I work outside the home – although I also have the option to work from home, but being realistic – you can't do both during the day, it's almost impossible.  I did it for 4 weeks after my maternity leave was over.  Plus – 2 home businesses....he has to work and sleep sometime.
I am the one who provides all of the medical care, he's been to 1 doctor's appointment (out of about 7 I think), the rest have infringed on his vacations (he told the judge he had just sat down for dinner so he couldn't make a few...he left out he was 5 states away) so he didn't go.  I pick up my son sick more often than not – meaning he should have seen the doctor over his weekend, or at least called the doctor.  Etc., etc.  His job stability is unstable, I have a fantastic private babysitter and my son loves it there.  I don't want to lose my sitter's and this provides a stable schedule for everyone.
Thoughts....input??

I also wanted to ask that he pay my costs this time, worst I can be told is no.

Sorry MB - didn't see your post of the same thing, must have just slid in right behind you

That reason is actually possible (I'm in IT and we had to change HR software to comply with HIPAA regs so that's why that may be a true statement - it's been years and I can't remember all the requirements), however, BM's boss can also take a black Sharpie and cross out what isn't needed, photo copy it and give it to you.  Or something of that nature, doesn't have to be pretty - just factual.   

I agree with snowrose.  My step-brother did the exact same thing with TWO children that were not his, because of his 2 older daughters.  Long story, but none of the children know any different to this day.  He took on the responsiblity and treats them as if they were bio's.

HIPAA is related to health information privacy not employment (that I'm aware of), http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/understanding/index.html (http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/understanding/index.html). 

I also think you have every right to be attending the children's activities.  I'd stop any communication with her other than the kids schedules/visitation.  Be the bigger person, ignore her hatred and stick to the CO - no small talk.  I know, easier said than done....I've been there . 

What happened in the past is water under the bridge and you've bounced back from that rough period, but she hasn't gotten over what happened years ago....just my opinion.  But she should not be using the kids in any fashion in her revenge for you.  And she is.

My CO has a lateness clause in it - if either party is more than 20 minutes late and does not contact the other parent within this timeframe, the parent who is suppose to obtain custody forfeits their time until the next exchange.

chicken -

Here is a site that you can do a reverse cell phone lookup, http://www.intelius.com/people-search-phone.html (http://www.intelius.com/people-search-phone.html).  You'll have to pay of course ($4.99) to get the detailed information but if the cell phone is in her name you may get her actual address - if she didn't use a family member's for this too.

We've used it at work, it's legit.

PaMom -

In PA, too.  Here is the link for the DR website, https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/CSWS/index. (https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/CSWS/index)