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Yes, my sister wrote down time and date and a summary of the phone conversation with BM and is willing to testify.

I get the feeling that she's doing this in an effort to piss me off and have me act out in anger.  Well she's wasting her time.  I even stop sending communication.  I followed Gemini's advise and sent a certified letter with suggested times for communication and asked her that if that didn't work she should suggest alternate times ASAP.  I am attempting my communication on the specified times.  When leaving a voice mail I clearly state my name, date and time and that I was calling to speak to DD.

My attorney said that the judge is going to see through her attempts.  The fact that the judge is pissed at her, is working against her right now.  Every attorney I've spoken to about the matter have stated that BM is doing the worst possible thing....withholding my child.

As far as DV, there's never been ANY.  The only thing that worries me is that from reading post here it seems like TRO are easily given to women who make such claims.  Although I get the feeling that the judge would see that for what it is....a desperate attempt. 

Davy-  I already followed your advise with my attorney in TX and had him file for jurisdictional purposes only.

I get the feeling that jurisdiction will be finalized in our next hearing.  I will NEVER give up on my DD....NEVER.  I have seen what happens to children who grow up without a dad....plus, I can't imagine not having DD in my life.

Well BM called my sister to tell her that my child is not allowed to have communication with me or any of my family members because I did "terrible" things to her (she was referring to herself).  BM then went on to tell my sister that I would only be allowed communication with the child IF the judge gave permission.  When asked what she was referring to, BM said stated that she was under legal advisement not to speak about it.

Here we go....LET THE GAMES BEGIN.....God only knows what the hell she's talking about.  I'd like to know what "terrible" things I did when I live 1400 miles away, that was so bad that I shouldn't be allowed access to my child.  My guess is that she realized that she f*ed up by not coming to NY and who knows what allegations she's going to make to take the focus off her.

I can't wait til my court date.  I just want some of this stuff to be settled already. 

I agree with Ocean, because you already started the proceedings in SC court, you can't challenge jurisdiction anymore as you have submitted to SC's jurisdiction. 

You should focus on having the case dismissed since DSS found no abuse in the house.  Unfortunately you will most often find that when you don't have an attorney Judges do not take you seriously.  Can you hire an attorney or see if you qualify for legal aid?

Good luck.

Louisiana does things completely different from other states...actually their laws are quite screwed up. 

But even though they do things differently they still have to follow jurisdiction regulations.  In your case Illinois has jurisdiction  and therefore if the aunt wants to get court ordered visitation then she would have to file in your state as it is the home state of the child and the one that has jurisdiction over the case.   

As far as answering to the Louisiana petition you should file a motion to dismiss for lack of subject matter and personal matter jurisdiction (I can send you a private message [PM] with a sample one if you'd like).  La has NO standing to make any sort of orders over you or your son.  Even if they did they cannot be enforced as they have NO JURISDICTION.  I wouldn't even show up to court....because if you do that may be construed as giving into their jurisdiction.

   

Hi Stressedoutmom,

In my opinion, you have every right to be concerned about how your daughter is introduced to her dad, but you should try to make the process as smooth as possible.  My suggestion to you would be to have them meet somewhere that is familiar to her but a place that can be considered neutral for both parents.  Maybe you can go to a park and have BF (birth father) be there....they can be introduced and start playing, etc, while you're there.  Do that a few times and then maybe one day you should take her there and let her be with her dad alone.  Depending on how that goes, then he can start picking her up and taking her to his house after the required number of visits are satisfied from the parenting plan.

Remember, children at that age can handle change better than we give them credit for.  Also remember, your daughter will feed off your energy.  If you act nervous around her dad or uncomfortable, she will too.  I know it's a hard time for you.....but if she can have a relationship with her dad it will be better for her overall. 

I think the fact that he's making an attempt to be a part of her life is a good thing. You shouldn't question why or why now.  Take it for what it is....he had a wake up call of some sort.  Better now than later. 

As far as him meeting with you and having an excuse for all the times you suggest....he might just be hesitant to have a face to face conversation with you.  How about if you write to each other through e-mail.  You can ask him for tell you what his expectations are, etc, and then you can voice your opinions.

Well I sent out the certified letter with the request.  As sad as this sounds, I have already resigned to the idea that I will not have any contact with my child until the court date.

I wanted to get your opinion on one more issues that I am having problems with....my child's daycare provider.  In the past I have called her once a month to get updates on my child.  She has always been very accommodating to my calls and would always call me back within a day or two.  Of course I have called her now two times (in a matter of 4 weeks) and have not received a call back yet.  I even sent her a letter stating that if it was easier she could send me a letter or an email to give me an update...I have gotten nothing.  I know that BM got to her and stated that she should not contact me.  The daycare provider already has a copy of our CO on file which states we have joint legal custody.  How would/have you guys handled a situation like this? 

Thanks a million!

gemini- That's a great suggestion!  Thanks

Do you and BF have join legal and physical?  Does BF have sole custody and you have visitation?

If he has sole custody you would be breaking the law by not returning the child, and BF can have the police get involved in having them return your daughter to him.  It's one thing for your CO to allow you and your daughter can arrange visitation between each other, and it's another thing for you not to return the child to the parent who has custody.  You also don't want to do something like that when you have court coming up....it won't be favorable for you. 

On my last visit to TX was when I got served with the summons.  When I did the motion to dismiss based on subject and personal matter jurisdiction, the judge informed me that since I rented a car in TX and in turn had conducted business in the state of TX, then they did have personal matter jurisdiction.  I know....doesn't make sense, but that's how it goes.

I was advised by my attorneys that until jurisdiction was settled, to be very careful about traveling to the state of TX; even to visit my child.  They said it was very common to have the other party try their hardest to get your arrested over the most frivolous things to use it as a way to get jurisdiction over the case.  This is the case with BM....she started bring this man to all our drop offs (which I didn't have a problem with) and come to find out he's a police officer dressed in plain clothing.  I was wondering why she was making a big deal about that third person there and screaming that she was afraid that I was going to hit her (when I NEVER have nor would I).....I let her scream all she wants, I didn't even speak to her.  I simply gave my child a kiss and said goodbye.

MB- yeah it's complicated.  I had one hearing in TX.  The judge in TX said that NY had continual jurisdiction.  Since a petition was filed in TX, the judge from TX and NY have to speak and decide which state would be a better forum for trial.  NY judge said he was not ready to make a decision as he needed to talk to both parties. 

BM's attorney in TX showed up for the hearing in TX.  BM did NOT come to NY for the two hearings.  The next hearing is in Dec. (the judge here in NY was pissed and said he was ordering for BM to show up to the next one). 

Yes, that is part of my petition here in NY to get specific times for phone calls.  The entire CO needs to be more specific.  Not only will it allow for contempt if not followed, but it will allow for less communication between BM and I so that I can do some low-contact with her.