Messages

First I want to thank everyone for their comments, even though some were hard to swallow.

Second, I had posted after the third post, but its gone?

I have a lot to read here and consume and I appreciate everyone's input, no matter how cold it is. I would like to state that I dont believe I said I wanted to take my children away from their mother, rather for her to get help. But I have come to the point where I realize I can not help someone who does not want to help themselves. Also, I did not realize she was an alcholic until 2000, this was after our second child was born. I noticed symptoms before that, but didnt realize it. And for you to say someone to say I dont have the ability to diagnose alcholism, what do you call it when someone is 44 yrs old picks her children up from school drunk, eats taco salad with her hands and passes out by 6pm? I talked with my son for an hour last night about this, as it happened yesterday. He is so scared, he wants to leave, yet he doesnt want to leave her. I dont blame him, she isnt bad all the time. I didnt even ask him and he asked me if he could tell the judge he wanted me to have custody because he was scared to stay with his mom. This is only getting worse. I will ask the children about calling the police again.

I called the police one time when I came home and she was drunk, they were eating pork and I went in the kitchen, the pork (that she prepared) was on the stove and RAW on the inside. I mentally lost it and called for a sheriff to come out and try to scare her straight. Guess what, nothing he could do.

The reality is, I want her to become clean. I dont think this will happen, and it appears there is no way for me to get full custody. What is a caring dad to do?

like all people my story is probably very long, but i will try to cut it down.

We live in Florida. Daughter 13, Son 11 I am on birth certs werent married at the time but are married now.

When our daughter was born I learned that I had been dating an alchoholic. Essentially I stopped all the partying but she kept right on going. I guess I'm a bit thick headed, as I didnt really think it was a problem. She doesnt get drunk that often, but when she does wow. She'll clean out everything there is to drink.

I have never wanted to take my children from her, as she is a good parent. She just has this problem with drinking. I have tried getting her to quit and trust me i have tried some very awful stuff, like telling the place she buys from to stop. It has come to the point in life that the children know exactly what is going on and dont want to be around it anymore. When she drinks the three of us leave the house until we know its okay to go home. She doesnt get physical, but she does get very evil with her words towards me. Repeats herself over and over, trips over everything and even burns herself on the stove.

Bad things I have done. Well in 2001 when I really started waking up, I came online to get help. well that led to me having "online" relations with someone. I am not sure what the courts would consider this? To her I cheated and am a horrible person, she will never forgive me. I know it was wrong, but I was very lonely.

I have some video tape of her being very drunk. One is extremely disturbing as the children were young and we came home and she was passed out. My son started screaming because he thought something was wrong with her. That is when I started teaching them about her problem.

People tell me I'm an idiot for staying this long and putting my children through this. Well this is how I see it, now when she drinks I have control and can take the children and leave. Its not that often, sometimes she can go 3 to 6 months without drinking. Sometimes she drinks every 3 days for a month. very sporatic. Well if we divorce and we share custody then what happens if she gets drunk on her days and something happens to the children? How do I forgive myself for leaving them in that situation?

Is there a way to ensure I get full custody? I really dont know what to do, but we cant handle it anymore. Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and have a wonderful day.

Oh there are no SPARC atty's near me.