Thanks to you both for the heartfelt responses; you give me hope and makes me feel not so alone..
As for the schools..older son's school is not much help at all. They did say he could leave self-addressed stamped envelopes for the teachers, but they are under the (I believe mistaken) impression that it is their job to enforce the court order, and that dad is only allowed to have the children from school on his specified days. He is last on the emergency card, and mom has left specific directions that children are not to be released to him unless it is during his parenting time. But the same rules don't apply to her. she can pick up/take children from school early whenever she pleases.
Dad went to younger son's open house tonight..son showed up in soccer uniform and dad had no knowledge of son being signed up for soccer..mom said it's not your parenting time so it's none of your business. This is once again contrary to court order, to my understanding.
BM was ordered to give dad a copy of her work schedule every 6 weeks OR when she receives it. She stated flat out the day after court that she will not give him copies, and that he can just take her word for it. No idea where she works..she was ordered to file income and expense dec. but never did. She told dad last week she would give him her home address, but never did, even upon repeated requests, she didn't respond to messages.
At first she told court she worked Wednesdays and every weekend and that she could not change schedule. Later\, she told court she was dropping down to 1 day week. Then she told dad she would be working weekends when it was his time, but no idea which is actually true.
Do not trust giving older son a cell, since everything we have bought/given him thus far has been confiscated/ "lost"..including clothes, ipod etc...
The boys recently had their first sleepover..both boys (13 and 9) are still wearing pull-ups and wetting the bed, though we refuse to put pullups on them, younger son wet the bed. Younger son said that mom told him not to do his homework at dad's house; we believe this is to make dad look bad and to get his Wednesday nights taken away..she went so far as to tell the boys that our daughter is not their real sister and referred to her as the devil's baby; younger son repeatedly called her this during several visitations.. it's amost unbelievable.
As for the schools..older son's school is not much help at all. They did say he could leave self-addressed stamped envelopes for the teachers, but they are under the (I believe mistaken) impression that it is their job to enforce the court order, and that dad is only allowed to have the children from school on his specified days. He is last on the emergency card, and mom has left specific directions that children are not to be released to him unless it is during his parenting time. But the same rules don't apply to her. she can pick up/take children from school early whenever she pleases.
Dad went to younger son's open house tonight..son showed up in soccer uniform and dad had no knowledge of son being signed up for soccer..mom said it's not your parenting time so it's none of your business. This is once again contrary to court order, to my understanding.
BM was ordered to give dad a copy of her work schedule every 6 weeks OR when she receives it. She stated flat out the day after court that she will not give him copies, and that he can just take her word for it. No idea where she works..she was ordered to file income and expense dec. but never did. She told dad last week she would give him her home address, but never did, even upon repeated requests, she didn't respond to messages.
At first she told court she worked Wednesdays and every weekend and that she could not change schedule. Later\, she told court she was dropping down to 1 day week. Then she told dad she would be working weekends when it was his time, but no idea which is actually true.
Do not trust giving older son a cell, since everything we have bought/given him thus far has been confiscated/ "lost"..including clothes, ipod etc...
The boys recently had their first sleepover..both boys (13 and 9) are still wearing pull-ups and wetting the bed, though we refuse to put pullups on them, younger son wet the bed. Younger son said that mom told him not to do his homework at dad's house; we believe this is to make dad look bad and to get his Wednesday nights taken away..she went so far as to tell the boys that our daughter is not their real sister and referred to her as the devil's baby; younger son repeatedly called her this during several visitations.. it's amost unbelievable.