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The parent receiving CS can forgive past amounts. It takes picking up the phone and calling the CS office to find out what to do. Most times they send you a packet to fill out and have notorized. YOu mail it back or drop it off in person. No court hearings. It's very easy.

If the situation truly is about the child then the OP wouold have looked into this option.

I understand when budgets are tight. I know it's very nice to have the extra income each month. But CS is NEVER a guarantee.

So BM is standing firm that she has never denied time for dad. Wow. CS office is apologizing over and over for the license issue. We have court again at the end of October for CS modification (which will put DH ahead 1 month)
DH also has a hearing to have more time with son.
This is getting ridiculous.

Living that close together I would guess yes. Be prepared to drive the kids to school in the morning!

Yes the other party gets a copy of the objection. My DH was the one that objected he had to send a copy of the objection to BM, the mediation office and family courts.

Im not sure about your state, but in Cali the mediator has 60 dyas to write up his/her suggestion. Taking both parties agreements into consideration and as well as the disagreements. They write up the suggestion and send it to both parents. If both agree then 20 dyas later it bcomes an order signed by the judge.
If either one doesn't agree then either party has 20 days to file an objection with the courts. my DH filed an objection. He has to give valid reason to object. If the courts decide he has a valid argument then a court hearing is scheduled. I guess he made a good point because we have court in October

What the mediator suggests is just that, a suggestion.

First off I want to commend you on how mature you are. I read both of your posts. I see you have great concern for your siblings and that is wonderful.

You are right, dad shouldn't have to bargain his way into visitation. It's not visitation, it's called being a parent.

Since these custody orders are only temp then he can ask the courts to give him custody. It sounds like mom is having some serious emotional issues that are hindering the children.

I don't think dad would be in trouble if sis called you to come get her. If the cops are called simply tell them the truth. And if it does happen please let all of us know the outcome.

As the oldest child maybe you can get thru to mom. Sometimes it takes some harsh words before a parent realizes their mistakes. I know I have heard some sore words form my son before I changed a behavior. It was good for everybody and I was so proud of him for having the backbone to tell me I was being stupid. (Cuz I was)

Moving closer to SS is not an option. The state of California ahs a very high unemployment rate and the cost of living is ridiculous. Trust me the idea has been brought to the table. DH even applied for several jobs in that area. If my family has to relocate then we will. But we aren't going to limit it to just the area that SS resides with his mother.

DH was in finance in the car industry. AS we all know that worked out really well. The bank he worked for closed it's doors. So he's been looking. I have the nicest letter from McD's thankign him for applying but he is too qualified for them. LOL Walmart wouldn't take him either.

I guess you have to ask yourself what's more important-Your child having a relationship with their father or a monthly check.

Just had a modification of CS hearing last week. My DH had to show denial letters from people he has applied to. (if you have any) Take proof of unemployment if you get it. If you got a letter from your last job explaining the layoff take that.

Take in the proof of the unemployment rate for your area. Also take a copy of your resume.

Keep a good relationship with your local child suport office. That wa sa huge life saver for my DH. The DCSS attorney was able to tell the judge that my DH was very good at making contact.

Oh also print off help wanted ads. Like on craigslist. Print off the list of job postings. Do that randomly. SHow that there are very few jobs available.

Good luck

OMG I am so sorry this is so long.

July 07 child is born-they never married. In Sept 07 DH's job transfered him back to Idaho from Cali. Great for me and him to finally get back together. Friends and more for 4 years by then. BM nad DH agreed on 600 a month and when SS turned 1 he could come visit in Idaho. No papers signed.
Sept DH gets back to Idaho, october flew down to Fresno to see SS. BM was a bitch. November they go to the self help place to file paperwork legally. BM freaks out at office yanks SS from DH's arms and storms out because DH would not agree to her having sole custody and him only being allowed to visit on her terms. December we gather all the money we can to get a lawyer. Find a great one give retainer and sent al the stuff she needed for the custody papers. End of december get the packet back and the check stating we were 300 bucks short. So we resent everything again with the correct amount.
Feb 09 rolls around and DH gets papers showing BM now has sole custody and DH is ordered 1187 a month in CS. Our attorney filed against that. April 08 judge sets aside those court papers and they are now null and void. CS case is on hold until the next hearing.
June 08 mediation. ok, DH doesn't agree to anything so we are going to court.
August 08 show up for court to get this all settled. Our judge is gone, there is a fill in judge. Both parties agree to postpone until the next month when they can have the original judge that will also preside over any future issues.
Sept o8 judge orders joint legal joint physical 1 week a month with dad in Idaho. DH pays 100% of travel. 685 a month in child supoprt. Back dates the support order to birth. DH is credited everything he has paid directly to BM. The agreed upon 600 only lasted 4 months so there was a 13,000 chunk added to back CS.
October 08 DH tried to pay CS. The order has not been set in CS services yet. We have to wait.
Nov 08 finally able to pay thru DCSS. DH does. A week later gets laid off. Tries to modify the support. What a hassle. We finally get the modification in Sept 09!!!!!
DH has not been paying the full amount each month because we just can't afford it. They do get 418 bucks a month. That's 30 of his income. PLus he pays 600+ a month in travel for these damn airline tickets. We are filing BK. This has ruined us financially.
Sept 09 go to modification hearing. BM lawyers up and it turns into a custody battle. Judge says move on and come back next month after the custody hearing we already have set for the objection to the most recent mediation hearing. Judge did jump BM's ass about the travel and that she needs to be more accomodating about it considering the circumstances. But judge doesn't order anything. Only postpones until end of october.
Just got off the phone with DCSS> DH called them to apologize for the court hearing. They had it all in notes! Even how uncooperative BM was being and how rude her attorney was. Does say that DH complied with everything DCSS had asked for and that he is making monthly payments but not the full amount. Does have it in notes that they believe DH should be compensated for the travel expenses.Lady tells DH he is ok but that there has been an order made to suspend his license for back child support. DH explains the high amount. Lady says she understands, but becasue it is a high amount of back CS it is enforceable. Even tho he pays monthly amounts. We have been trying to modify this for almost a year!
So DH is waiting for a call back from DCSS to find out if we can fight this. BM refuses to let DH drive with SS for the exchange. He has to fly to Cali, meet BM pick up SS then fly back with SS> That's 600 minimum each month. WE have yet to spend the minimum, the least we have forked out so far is 728It's only 218 to drive.
We were just in Fresno DH started his visitation on the 19th BM refused to allow SS to leave Fresno with SS in the car so she denied the visit. If DH would have bought the plane tickets then she might have let him leave for the week. So now that we know about this enforcement order I'm pretty sure BM is the one pushing it.
We can bring BM up on 3 different possibly 4 contempt charges. I'm so pissed at this woman right now.DH is crushed again. These past 2 days have been so hard on him. All he has ever wanted was to have a family. Part of the reason we couldn't make things work a few years back. I can't have any more children. He met this woman she ended up pregnant, I told him to stay in Cali and make it work withher. Well it didn't work. Yes DNA says SS is his. Bm is a horrible woman.
So now if DH gets his license suspended we are screwed. He is the primary parent in our home for the other 3 kids. (my kids) He is the one driving to appointments, games, school, whatever. Son of a monkey this is going to screw us BAD.
He has followed every letter of the CO, has jumped thru hoops to be with his son. We even looked into moving to Fresno but the unemployment rate is outrageous. He applied for so many jobs there but hasn't got anything. Idaho is his home, hell it's our home. Both born and raised here.
I am so sorry now I'm rambling. I'm so mad for my DH right now.