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I believe only a judge can change the order.  If it is an actual order signed by the judge, only a judge can make changes to it.  She is probably just feeding you BS and hopes you don't dispute it.  As unfortunate as having cancer is, I do not believe that is a reason for not paying your support obligation either, if a father who pays CS was in the same position, it would just stack up in arrears. 

I dont know if bringing up her education is a good idea.  My DH is a high school drop out and never got his equivalent and the BM is a drop out too but got her GED.  DH is far more intelligent and better equipped to raise the kids than the BM.  IMO, it would look like bashing because education doesn't make or break your skills as a parent.  I have known some pretty inept people with college degrees too.

yeah, money/check/money order with a receipt does not count where we are at either.  i agree with the others, buy things, like formula and diapers and maybe put some money away for when they do take support.  try for at least 50/50 because if you go in there and just accept everyother weekend, it will be very hard to change it down the road.

In my state paying money directly to the other parent does not count even with receipts.  I would stop doing it unless you can find something from state laws that says it will count.  Here it would not count and they would still go back until you were together so if you paid her $1000 since you spit up, that would not count and if they adjust that you owed $2000 since that point, your receipts from would not credit the $1000 you already gave her.  You need to establish paternity.

Awesome!  Another victory for the father's side!  I hope everything continues to go in the children's favor!

I would say you need a plan and back up plan if it is something the two of you need to agree on and not in front of a judge.  Also, I dont know how old the child/children is but we even had to work something in about sports and activities the kids are in so they could play sports on her days (she threatened not to let them play).  If they are too young, you still need to think of obsticles in the future too.

ok, well they have a paper with both DH and BM signatures.  A the bottom it says: All terms or prior orders not addressing parenting plan or otherwise addressed herin shall remain in  full force and effect.   
and then the back page has the evaluator's signture, date and states:

ORDER

at the session of said court held in the city of grand rapids, county of kent on the 17th of November, 2009

Present:  Honorable G. Patrick Hillary, Circuit court judge

it is so ordered.   
Esamined, countersigned and entered by D. Hill, Deputy

Attest: A true copy

D. Hill
Deputy County Clerk

My DH had his parenting time evaluation today.  I guess it was more of a mediation between the two of them than the evaluator doing anything.  Their previous parenting time was only verbal and it was DH picked up kids 10am-2pm Saturday and returned the children 7:30pm.  But after her loss in court she started refusing to let the kids go at their agreed time and wouldn't let them call even if they asked.  The police could do nothing since it wasnt on paper.   She wanted parenting time to be 7pm on Saturday to after school on Tuesday.  Basically taking away a whole day.

The order is eow 10am on Saturday, and eow 4pm Saturday and left at 7:30pm on Tuesdays.  My husband and I are very happy with this.  The evaluator told BM that since it has been this way for so long (7 years)  that there is no point in changing it that drastically.

One small victory and now she cant withhold the children from us!

I spoke to two different lawyers about this stupid PPO problem.  The first was very interested and very informative and seemed interested in helping, but she told me to also talk to other attorneys.  The second seemed to think it was pointless to fight because it was our fault we missed the court date.  she also said they arent mailed out and that we were supposed to serve.  That is NOT what the PPO office told my husband, they said they would mail them out.  So now I am even more confused.  So, I am waiting on talking to a couple others and see if more say it is a fight or not.  Arghhh!!!!

Yeah, I talked to a lawyer and she said we should fight it before it comes up in Feb, because (just like I thought) they might pull the "well, its worked and kept her safe so far, so we might as well keep it".  I like the idea of using a female lawyer against this woman, but the lawyer also suggested I look at others too since we have never hired one before, I wonder if that is good or bad that she suggested that?