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GL today, let us know what happens!

Well, you were right, Kitty, GA decided it was TN's jurisdiction so their safety plan was voided and we had to give her back.  DH and the lawyer are going in front of the judge today to get ex parte custody and an emergency hearing.

Mother is in complete denial about the whole situation.  She was supposed to bring DSD to CPS last week to have her interviewed but her phone convienently was dead so the lady wasn't able to get ahold of her to set up a time.

We got DSD back on Sunday.  DH had mediation with the Mother yesterday and she refused everything he offered her (he wanted to drop the ex parte because he knows it will be hard on DSD, but he can't trust the mother to protect her so he doesn't want DSD going back to TN).  He told her that if she lets DSD stay in GA until our court hearing early January, he would still pay her full CS AND an additional $100/week for any week she came down to see DSD (her uncle lives here, so all she would be paying for was gas - she's in school M-TH but could come down every weekend).  He said she could see her as often as she would like to and even gave her Thanksgiving Weekend (originally hers) and Christmas Weekend (originally ours).  He also offered to drive DSD up there two weekends.

DH is really upset. He knows he has to protect his daughter but he knows she's not going to understand and this is going to hurt her. 

Ok, I thought you were talking about the boys' mother? But now you are saying he?

You say he only pays when he gets unemployment, so if he's not working and not receiving UE, how do you expect him to pay? Not paying CS is not a reason to terminate someone's rights.

Have you asked the other parent if they would be willing to let your husband or you (whoever is not the bio parent since your posts have conflicting info) adopt the child?  If they are not seeing the child nor paying support, they don't really have a reason to say no.  Especially when it will negate their CS obligation.  I'm sure they'd probably rather give up their rights then be thrown in jail for not paying.

It is very difficult to INvoluntarily terminate someone's rights.  Courts do not take that lightly.

Heck, it's hard enough to VOLUNTARILY terminate someone's rights.  Most courts won't let you unless there is someone else willing to adopt.

I will have DH ask them - I was under the impression that CPS will only file for an emergency hearing if THEY are taking custody.  The CPS worker did say that if the mother does not agree to let us keep sd then sd will be taken and put into foster care while they do their investigation.  She also made the comment that it would be a really good idea for us to go ahead and retain a lawyer and file for emergency custody ourselves.

She said there is NO WAY sd is going back to TN - she will go to foster care before they will allow that.

In June my SD disclosed some abuse allegations against a relative of her mother's, whom the mother lives with.  TN CPS would not interview the child at the time because she was not 3 yet, so it was determined to be unsubstantiated.  Mother did agree to keep the child away from this relative, claiming to move out for awhile, but we know she is back to living there again.

Mother retailiated by then filing a false abuse allegation, claiming my 2 1/2 yo dd was touching sd's privates.  Mother kept SD from us so we got an emergency hearing where the judge not only ordered her to resume back to 50/50 time share but also put it in the order that we were allowed to put SD into play therapy (CPS recommended it but Mother refused).  We live in different states, so we also got the judge to put into the co that child protective services in our state, GA, be allowed full jurisiction over the health and well-being of the child.

So in Sept, SD started going to therapy once every other week.

Last week, she disclosed the abuse to her therapist.  Part of what she disclosed was that her mother and grandmother know about the abuse but all they did was tell the relative to stop it.  This is the same thing she told us back in June.

GA CPS is taking this very seriously and has told us to not allow any contact between SD and her mother or her family.  When they called mother to inform her of this, she wouldn't listen to what they had to say and just kept trying to blame the whole thing on my DH, saying he was doing this because of an upcoming custody modification mediation.  They told her that this had nothing to do with DH, that it was from something that came up in counseling, and she just would not listen (you would think that her main concern would have been Is my child OK? but it wasn't).

The investigation starts today and I'm just confused as to what will happen now.  Has anyone been through this?  How long will it take? Do we need to hire a lawyer now or do we just trust CPS to take care of everything?

Maybe this is why my ex never fought me for custody (in KY)?  Oh wait... no, the reason is because he just doesn't CARE.

I am really sorry to hear your story and even sorrier to admit that I grew up in KY (Hopkinsville).  Beautiful place but definitely behind in the times.  I am quite thankful that my husband's custody case did not go through that state.

I really really hate to hear about fathers who WANT to be there for their children and are not ALLOWED to be.  It is so sickening.

Call your local Department of Children Services office and ask them to recommend a therapist.  We could NOT find one until we did this.  They gave us a list and we finally found ONE that would agree to take our case.  Most of these therapists are used to dealing with abuse and custody cases since most of their clients come from DCS.  Ours is awesome and has a TON of experience testifying in court and has a great reputation with the judges.  You need to find someone like that. 

I don't see any judge convicting the dad of contempt for this...  this is just absolutely ridiculous and will only make the mom look bad.

I agree with pp, let her file contempt and then request that Dad have final say in transportation if him and Mom cannot agree since he has to pay for it.

How far is the drive? Please update us on Monday, I really want to know what happens.

Mr Custody - those links did not work for me..

Wow I WISH that we were only 12 miles away from BM....

I know that I was in cheerleading and we had mandatory practice 3 days a week - you could only miss two practices (and it had to be for a very good reason) or you'd get kicked off the squad.  I would assume the marching band is the same way because they really need everyone there to be able to work on their formations, etc.  It's hard to work on correct spacing when someone is missing.

I understand it is a really big commitment, but I don't think a judge is going to believe the "I can't afford to take her" excuse over 12 miles.

I'm torn on this one... it does seem like she already has a pretty full schedule with the two other bands that she's in, but I can't really say for sure without knowing the schedules and dates of all three activities (I'm assuming they may be during different semesters with maybe a little bit of overlapping?).   

Could mom help with some of the driving? Like on days that your work schedule interferes, could she come and pick her up and bring her back after practice?  There needs to be cooperation from both parents for this to work.