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Messages - sillystring

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General Issues / Re: What can we do?
« on: Oct 16, 2009, 12:20:01 PM »
In my state (GA), tpo's are issued immediately upon filing (if granted by the judge) and only in effect until the court date which is usually within 14 days after filing.  At the hearing is where the judge decides to turn it into an actual po or to dismiss it.  There is no filing of a response here - you go to the hearing to give your response.  Are you sure you read the paper right?  The date that was given 10 days later - are you sure that wasn't the hearing date rather then a 'when to respond by' date? 
Also in my state, you are given the ability to appeal it 1 time within the timeframe of the po.  My advice to you would be to get a lawyer and appeal it.  Our lawyer for our (bogus) po hearing was around $1500.

Visitation Issues / Re: Reasonable Visitation
« on: Oct 16, 2009, 11:11:09 AM »
We are in the original jurisdiction. 
What if we offered EOWE but requested that one of those weekends be spent in our city and the other one she could take the child back to her place?  That way the child would only have to travel once a month rather than twice.  BM has a free place to stay so it's not like she would have to pay for a hotel or anything.
We're just concerned about the future - we don't want sd to miss out on things (extracurriculars, etc.) because she has to travel every other weekend.  Plus we feel BM should be involved in her activities, etc. that go on here.  I'm not saying that ec's are more important than time with mom (or dad) because they're not, but I also don't want sd to resent mom in the future because she can't participate in certain sports, etc. due to the distance.  I just know that I was involved in a sport in high school that had stuff every weekend and I would have been pissed if I had to miss even one game. 

Custody Issues / Re: What should I do?
« on: Oct 14, 2009, 11:56:50 AM »
I don't see what the point was in saying anything about your screenname either... sorry Mixedbag, but what was your point?
Anyway, we have my 3-year-old in what is called 'play therapy'.  Basically she goes to the therapist every other week for an hour and plays with the therapist and just gives her an outlet to talk about her feelings to an unbiased, trusted adult.  We had to put her in it due to false abuse allegations but I'm glad we did because she really enjoys it and it is helping teach her how to express herself and her emotions.  I would highly recommend that if you put your son in therapy that you take this route. 
We had bad luck with a GAL, but if you get a good one they can be quite helpful.  GL!  You have an advantage since you already have temporary custody.

Visitation Issues / Reasonable Visitation
« on: Oct 13, 2009, 12:36:08 PM »
My husband currently has a week on, week off, joint custody schedule.  The mother lives 5 1/2 hours away so they meet halfway once a week.  Neither parent is designated as primary in the CO, but my husband does pay a small amount of CS to make up for the difference in incomes.
Due to the mother repeatedly violating the CO, neglecting to include my husband in medical decisions, and filing false child abuse allegations against him on two separate occasions, my husband has filed for full custody.  Each abuse allegation was made after my husband filed for contempt against her (both contempts were resolved through mediation so she wasn't actually charged) and she is now being investigated by the state for making false allegations (both were sexual in nature and the second allegation was actually against my two year old daughter, not my husband).
The CO is through our county in GA since this is where they lived when they were together.  We were hoping that the mom would move back before sd started preschool next year so we could continue 50/50, but with everything that has happened the past 2 years, we no longer feel like that is the best option for sd.  It has been really hard making this decision but the mom sees sd as a pawn to use against my husband and only looks out for HER interests rather than my sd's interests.  We believe that the mom may have BPD and that there may be some PAS going on as well due to some of my sd's actions (she's 3).  SD is currently in play therapy because of it (which we had to get court-ordered since the mom wouldn't agree to it even though she's the one trying to say that sd is getting abused).
My question is, what kind of visitation schedule should we ask for while going for full custody?  We want sd to have as much contact with the mom as possible but we're not sure what is standard when the ncp lives 5 1/2 hours away.  Would we just offer 3 day weekends, alternate breaks, and time at Christmas and in the summer?  Or offer an EOWE availability if the mom spends it in our city (she has an uncle here she can stay with - we just don't think it's good for sd to have to be in the car for 11 hours EOWE)?  We're just torn because only seeing the mom twice a year doesn't sound like enough, but EOWE in the car seems like too much. 

Visitation Issues / Re: PAS? Anyone Else?
« on: Oct 07, 2009, 10:55:41 AM »
Your ex is completely putting herself before the kids and that really makes me sad.  What she is doing is not right at all.
However, I think you need to look at yourself as well.  YOU are currently doing the same thing by showing up, knowing that means the kids will not get to participate in the game.  Should you be allowed to be there? Of course.  But I think you need to back off, send her a text saying that FOR NOW you will not attend the games on "her" time, but that you WILL be requesting a modification through the courts because you feel that BOTH of you should be able to attend ANY AND ALL of the kids' events.
Then you should file a modification with the courts, and maybe request some additional mental health evaluations for her?  She's obviously not getting the help she needs.

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