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Messages - rjmurdock

Pages: 12 3
Visitation Issues / Re: Holidays sharing
« on: May 16, 2012, 01:43:19 PM »
The only area that doesn't have set times is the holidays. The normal custody schedule does have times and although she still does petty stuff it has lessened over time and they split when their son was 6 months old. When the first split it was ridiculous. So in a year and a half it has drastically decreased which as far as children are concerned is pretty quick. As the next holiday they have to worry about it Thanksgiving I imagine he will probably just wait and see what happens then. I agree he should just go and get the time ironed out now but I don't think I've ever met a less confrontational person in my life and despite advice he will wait if she pushes him too far he'll do something about it but it will take an awful lot.

Visitation Issues / Re: Holidays sharing
« on: May 14, 2012, 03:22:33 PM »
Thanks Tigger. I kind of figured that was the case. Knowing them like I do Dad will just give in. They really don't have a ton of issues just the holiday stuff mostly. The biggest issue is the fact that no times are in the order and their definition of the day or a half day vary greatly. He just ignores the petty stuff like when she blames him for a bruise on their almost 2 yr old. Given that I don't see a return to court to get the times set it would be a waste of time and money and she won't agree because she knows he will give in and let her have what she wants. He does see his son quite a bit and if she's not feeling well she will call him to take him so she can rest for the most part he's got it pretty good no need to rock the boat so to speak.

Visitation Issues / Holidays sharing
« on: May 13, 2012, 07:58:50 AM »
Ok this question is for a friend of mine. We live in Pa. He has a son who is almost 2. His ex and he fight about a bunch of petty stuff (mostly her) but she does think that dad should see his son plenty so even though every cough, rash, or bruise gets blamed on dad he sees his son plenty. The problem is holidays because the idiots didn't put any times into their custody order. Most of the time Dad (my friend) just gives in and doesn't fight with her about times and such because he's not very confrontational. The issue they have now is both the child's birthday and father's day are in the custody order. Dad gets him all day on father's day and they share his birthday. This year father's day and birthday fall on the same day. Anyone know which one of them should get him on this day. Dad offered to celebrate father's day on sat and split his birthday on sunday but mom said no that Dad just has to give up Father's day because birthday trumps father's day. Anyone know who is right?

Actually according to the federal tax law the boyfriend may claim the child however, he is not entitled to EIC, child care credit, Head of Household or child tax credit. In order to claim these credits you must be related to the child either by blood, marriage, or adoption. If you know he claimed these credits for your child I would suggest calling the IRS and reporting him. They will look into it and he will have to pay back his refund plus interest and penalties this might make her think twice before doing this again. Also as a custody order that is 2008 or newer will have no relevance with the IRS you will want to put a stipulation requiring her to sign a form 8332. Which is the federal tax way of allowing you to claim your child for exemption and the child tax credit.

Custody Issues / Re: Gaining Custody in PA
« on: Apr 22, 2012, 07:26:54 AM »
Ok so we talked to the school and now I'm a little irritated with them. SS teacher said he's a great kid and very smart but she didn't see his behavior as anything more than a 7 yr old boy. She has several just like him and several that are worse. So that was a relief we were afraid that maybe there was something we weren't seeing and maybe he did need to see a dr about his behavior. We then asked about the patches. His teacher said she had seen the patches and sent him to the nurse to have them checked out. The nurse didn't bother to find out what they were or what they were for and sent him back to the class telling the teacher its fine lots of parents are doing it. However, the nurse was on vacation so we didn't get the opportunity to confront her on her gross negligence. My husband asked the teacher to keep and eye for any other medications that SS might be given and to please contact him if there is anything else. We then talked to the guidance counselor who had brought him in to talk to him a little and see if any of our concerns were real or not. She said she talked to SS for about 20 min and didn't really get much out of him. She said he seemed to be coached about anything that went on at BM home. She said every question got an answer like I forgot or I can't remember but only after some pause and thinking. Questions like who watches you after school and What kind of things do you do at home. She is now concerned herself and plans to bring him in again to see if she can break through the coaching and find out what is going on. I have to admit I feel a little relief as my husband and I are biased its nice to know that our concerns are not in our head and that someone else sees it too.

Custody Issues / Re: Gaining Custody in PA
« on: Apr 18, 2012, 02:17:25 PM »
Yes our lawyer did tell us if she quit her job than it will be a whole new ball game so to speak. We did talk to the school about the patch marks before we knew what they were from. My husband also talked to the guidance counselor at SS school and asked that she bring him in and talk to him. He also has a parent-teacher conference set up for tomorrow afternoon. I also have pictures of SS back with the multiple patch marks but BM claims they didn't do what she wanted so she's not using them anymore. Now if BM does quit her job her current girlfriend is not working. This would leave them unable to pay their rent or car payments ect. Now BM's mother would BM and SS to move in with her even though they are not speaking because she is her daughter and BM's father would do the same but both have informed her that the girlfriend is not welcome. We have a very good relationship with BM's mom and a fairly good relationship with BM's dad so if BM and SS moved in with either of these parties that would be good for SS also even if we don't get custody and that's what its really about after all. However, BM is one of those people who thinks she can do what she wants because she wants to. We went through this all when SS was younger in getting overnight visitation even when her own lawyer told her she would lose and she should settle on an agreement she insisted on going all the way to court with it. We know her lawyer told her that because our very old courthouse has very thin conference rooms and we heard it with our own ears.

Custody Issues / Re: Gaining Custody in PA
« on: Apr 18, 2012, 01:14:19 PM »
I guess guarantee is not the actual wording but essentially with her working swing shift therefore 4 out of 6 wks she is on 2nd or 3rd shift and the fact that she has now including daycare into the CS. This is the same lawyer we have used in the past and I honestly tell you he is not full of it. We have considered going for custody before with some of these issues but he straight out told us don't waste your money. He almost always wins his cases but that is because he is willing to tell a client don't waste your money you don't have a chance. It is also easier for him to determine the outcome because we live in a very rural area and there is only one judge for this county for family court so we know who we are going in front of and he knows how this guy rules. It has only been 2 days since we determined what the patches were although I still can't understand the logic of using an herbal weight loss patch on a perfectly healthy 7 yr old boy with the hopes of calming him down and helping him sleep. That being said clearly I am still concerned or I wouldn't be posting on here. As for CPS I will trust my attorney as husbands ex is only being given another day or two to respond to the letter sent on the 9th of April regarding her work schedule and a few other things before he files a petition for special relief and we will then be in front of the judge in a matter of days.

Second Families / Re: And the drama has begun again. :(
« on: Apr 18, 2012, 11:12:28 AM »
You don't want the child to go without even if it means paying more than the actual order but if you don't trust her do what my husband did. When his ex asked for help with school clothes and some other things my husband told her to give him a list of what his son needed and he would get it for him. We didn't want him to go without but at the same time we didn't want to give her more cash because we suspected that's not what it would go for. After that she decided she didn't need help when he wasn't going to give her cash. Let her go for more support other than that she really is entitled to nothing.

Father's Issues / Re: Trial coming up!
« on: Apr 18, 2012, 09:04:11 AM »
The problem with her claiming the child on her income tax is if your custody order is post-2008 the IRS doesn't care what it says. The IRS says the parent with whom the child spends the most nights is eligible to claim the child and in order for the non-custodial parent to claim the child she would have to provide you with a form 8332 which is a release of the exemption and even then you would not be eligible for head of household, dependent care expenses, or earned income credit. Your court may care and may charge her with contempt. There are many circumstances I have seen where a custody order about who can claim what on taxes is in direct violation of federal law. I suggest you look into the federal law on claiming dependents and make sure your custody order is in line with those laws.

Custody Issues / Re: Gaining Custody in PA
« on: Apr 18, 2012, 08:49:23 AM »
I should add that my stepson is only 7.

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