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Topics - heather2662

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Dear Socrateaser / Medical bills / Problems spliting half
« on: Jan 17, 2005, 06:53:23 PM »
Illinois Residence

Divorce was final Oct. 2003.

Marital Settlement Agreement states:
Wife shall maintain on behalf of the minor children of the parties medical insurance as long as it is available through her employment. Each of the parties agrees to pay one half (1/2) of all medical, dental, optical, pharmaceutical, orthodontial, and psychological expenses of the minor children of the parties not covered by that insurance.

As of Dec. 2004 Ex-wife is not employed. I believe that Ex-wife’s current husband may add or have added the kids to his insurance. I have not been informed of this by Ex-wife. This info came from a non related party familiar with both of us.

From the moment the “one half” medical judgment became active,

1. Ex -wife has not provided medical billing information in a timely manner. She will hold on to bills that have only my portion due for several months before sending them to me. She has also waited until they are in collection.

2. She will bring the kids back to physicians for repeat visits before I am finished paying (my half) and will try to get me to pay half on the “total bill.” (That includes her unpaid portion)

3. She has provided me with bills (for my half) that the insurance has not finished paying on . She also has been reimbursed by the insurance and kept the check.

4. She will send me non-detailed bills with hand written notes on the pages or with post-its, with her calculations of what my half is.

1. Is there a time limit on how long Ex-wife has to provide me with true and correct bills that reflect my portion?

2. Is there a time limit to provide me with bills, where after said time, I am not responsible to pay?

3. If  my Ex-Wife’s husband adds the kids to his insurance, does she have to notify me that the kids are covered again?    
(In this case, how can I defend myself from the Ex-wife providing me with basic bills that state the total and do not reflect the insurance “I am supposedly not aware of?” Example: She gives me a bill that shows a $200.00 total and says my portion is $100.00, but insurance paid on the bill making it $30.00 dollars we are suppose to split and she pockets the money.

In addition:
I have tried to work with physicians offices directly by informing them of the (one half) payment arrangement and it has been unsuccessful to date. They do not feel it is their responsibility to keep track of separate parent billing and make no efforts to aid the situation.

Thank you,

Dear Socrateaser / Illinois: When does child support end?
« on: Jan 09, 2005, 10:23:38 AM »
State: Illinois
County: Clark

My oldest is going to turn 18 on Jan. 30th 2005. She will graduate high school at the end of the school year.

Since the time of the divorce (OCT. 2003) I have been paying child support directly to the BM by personal check. Each check is noted "Child Support week ending xx/xx/xxxx" I scan a copy of the pay stub with the support check and keep record of it on my computer. I print a copy of the check and stub together and enclose it with the support check sent to BM.

My divorce papers are very "general" and state that 32% is to be taken from my pay for support. It does NOT state anywhere when child support ends.


1. When does child support end in Illinois?
2. Is there an 18 or end of high school rule?

Thank you,

Dear Socrateaser / BF pays for trip, what if BM wont let child go?
« on: Oct 03, 2004, 06:40:01 PM »
Illinois Residence.

Divorced in Oct. 2003. Three children, 17, 15, 13.

I am the Bio Father. Bio Mother has sole physical custody. Daughter is 13yrs old.

My Duaghter was recently been nominated to participate in the government program,  "People to People Student Ambassador Program."

(President Dwight D. Eisenhower founded People to People during his administration. People to People Student Ambassadors travel overseas for two to three weeks during the summer to learn, share, and represent their communities and schools.)

Bio Mother refuses to pay for program and wants nothing to do with this at all. That is just fine with me, I elected to pay for the trip alone.

The total estimated cost of the trip is just over $6,000.00.

Daughter told me that Bio Mother uses the trip occasionally as leverage in arrguments. general example: " If you don't do want I say, I won't let you go on the trip."

Bio Mother frequently interupts my visitation time and withholds children from visitation time and the make-up visitation time. She has not been coopertive or willing to work with me on almost every matter we encounter.

As the  time gets closer to the Student Ambassador Program departure date, the amount of the refund and portion fee withholding changes. (Closer to the date - the less money you can get back, all the way to $0.)


1. If I get her to sign an agreement of some sort that she gives her permission for Daughter to go on trip, can I use that to ensure my investment and that Daughter gets to go?

2. If Bio Mother backs out and refuses to let Daughter go, making me loose any money, can I sue her in court? Please advise on possible outcome with and without signed agreement.

Thank you,

General Issues / On the SPARC site/Law & Litigation FAQ
« on: Sep 20, 2004, 10:50:14 AM »
On the SPARC site under: SPARC Law & Litigation FAQ

What are the "few exceptions?" refered to in Q&A #12:

12. Do I have the right to copies of records that are held by lawyers that I have released or fired?  

Yes, with few exceptions, you have the right to a copy of everything that is in your legal file. If you are on reasonable terms with the attorney, ask to come by and look through the file for what you need. If not, you may need to send letters requesting the records that you want. Send the request letters by certified mail so you'll have an audit trail, in case there's a problem getting the records.  

The matter is now closed and I am making payments on the legal bill. Is that one of the "exceptions? I sure hope not!
Thank you,
Mark + Heather

General Issues / Father's Rights protester
« on: Sep 13, 2004, 11:29:39 AM »
Check out this story:


'Batman' protest at queen's palace
Monday, September 13, 2004 Posted: 2:23 PM EDT (1823 GMT)

LONDON, England (CNN) -- London's police chief has demanded an urgent inquiry after a fathers rights campaigner dressed as Batman evaded supposedly tight security to stage a protest on a Buckingham Palace balcony.

Officers, facing their second security breach in four months after the group pelted Prime Minister Tony Blair with flour-filled condoms, took five hours to finally bring the protester down from Queen Elizabeth's London residence.

Police said no members of the royal family were in the palace but admitted the man -- identified by campaigners as Jason Hatch, a 32-year-old father of two -- should not have been able to scale the perimeter fence with a ladder and climb onto the high-profile balcony.

Scotland Yard issued a statement saying London police chief Sir John Stevens had demanded a report on the incident by Tuesday morning.

Stevens said "the intruder was readily identified as performing a publicity stunt but if he had been carrying a gun or a bomb he would probably have been shot," the statement added.

"He said that the CCTV (close-circuit television monitoring) and the alarms worked and the police response was speedy but nevertheless it was unacceptable that the wall had been scaled and he would ensure that whatever was necessary would be done in relation to improved security."

Former Buckingham Palace spokesman Dickie Arbiter said officials would be seriously embarrassed by Monday's incident.

He told Sky News: "They will be very seriously embarrassed by what has happened, and they will be looking at ways now to really tighten up on possibly even public access, and make it even harder to get in.

"But they've made it hard already, so how much harder they can make it in the light of this I don't really know."

The campaign group Fathers 4 Justice said Hatch, from Cheltenham, in western England, scaled the palace's outer fence helped by a would-be accomplice, Dave Pyke, dressed as comic hero Batman's sidekick Robin.

Meanwhile, other protesters distracted the attention of armed police by climbing on the front gate.

The group said police had threatened to shoot Pyke unless he got down from the fence, "which we think is unacceptable because this is a peaceful, non-violent protest." Police declined to comment on the incident.

Hatch, wearing grey tights, black pants and cape, the superhero's bat symbol and a mask with pointed ears, then climbed up on the palace balcony -- which is used by the royals for ceremonial occasions.

Standing on a ledge to the right hand side of the balcony, about 8 meters (25 feet) above the ground, he unfurled a banner that read: "Super dads of fathers 4 justice."

Also on the banner were the words: "Fighting for your right to your kids."

After spending five hours trying to persuade the protester to come down, police on a cherry picker finally removed him at 7.20 p.m.

Royal security was reviewed after a Daily Mirror reporter got a job at Buckingham Palace as a servant before U.S. President George W. Bush stayed there during a state visit in November last year.

Stand-up comedian Aaron Barschak also highlighted lax security by gate-crashing Prince William's 21st birthday party at Windsor in June last year.

Fathers 4 Justice, which says Britain's courts are biased against fathers in divorce cases involving child access, are notorious for their publicity stunts.

Its attack on Blair in the House of Commons four months ago caused a massive security alert amid fears of a terrorist attack and prompted changes to access rules for parliament.

General Issues / This will piss you off-Give your opinion
« on: Aug 17, 2004, 10:26:54 AM »
Hello all,
I am IL Step Mom, the one that posted "ILLINOIS Can CPS Help?" My name is Heather and some of you met my husband Mark in Chat not to long ago. I posted the original message in a couple different group sites hoping to get as much info as pos.

I got a response from a woman that is an absolute idiot. It's like she stopped reading after the word PAS. To me, she sounds like a bitter
B!T@# that prob. alienated her own kids from their dad because he left her after he couldn't take her S#!T anymore.

I'm not going to respond to her CRAP, but I needed to say something somewhere.  Read my post #2639, "ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?" then READ THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?

Thank you,
Heather-IL Step Mom

From:  bright one
Date:  Sun Aug 15, 2004  8:51 pm
Subject:  Re: [FamilyWars] ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?
ILL Step Mother:
I find your comments amusing. PAS?????????????? Where did that come from? It is not a diagnosable diagnosis in the DM14 edition. Who has been putting these thoughts into your head? These are not your
children, they belong to their mother and father and you are merely there to support them when they are with their father. Do you talk about PAS to these kids? I sure hope not because that would make you the alienator. You should not be talking to these kids about custody or anything else involving the father and mother. They are "scared to death of her",come on, this is their mother, they lived with her for many years, why would all of a sudden they be afraid of her? Your story is many of the "father's rights group" that is bankrupting america by bringing this to the courtroom for endless years of litigation, therapists, counseling, you name, it will happen. I do not know you, but you really need to take a step back from this and be objective not SUBJECTIVE, which is what your questions reek of. You are taking the
father's side and ask yourself this question--why did he have these children with her, leave her and them marry you? There surely were some good aspects to this woman, HIS CHILDREN'S MOTHER. Go ahead and call DCFS, you will find out what countless of other good parents have been put through by this so called "childs advocate agency". Do you really want to be the one to call DCFS on these kids mother? If things are so bad why isn't the school calling them, why aren't these kids who appear old enough to make decisions telling the "right people"? Perhaps there is some truth to your story here, but I do know the law and there is no such thing as Parent Alienation Syndrome. Some crack pot who stabbed himself over 50 times to death thought this up. Now why would he stab himself to death repeatedly if there was nothing wrong with him? Please be objective, take a step back and find out what you are up against if you start this WAR.

Visitation Issues / Reasonable Visitation Definition?
« on: Sep 20, 2004, 09:58:13 AM »
What is the legal definition under Illinois law for “Reasonable Visitation?”

It applies to me as written in my divorce papers for visitation with my teenage children.

It says:   The Respondent (me) shall be entitled to reasonable visitation, including overnight visitation.

There are periods of time that I have had my kids for visitation every other weekend and there are times that they don’t see me for weeks. This has been hingent on what the ex-wife feels is reasonable.

 She makes reference to the statement "reasonable visitation" on a stedy basis, conected to email communications that are suppose to be about the children and med bills we share, only. She feels this is a threat and has been one of the many intimidation tactics she has used to effect my relationship with my kids.

In addition she uses the same tactics with the kids. For example, when they ask about making plans with me she will make a point of telling them "Your father only gets reasonable visitation, thats all, I'll prove it, I'll show you the divorce papers."

Can I file contempt “non-compliance with Visitation Order”  when I don’t get to see them for consecutive weeks in a row. Especially when the kids have no school club activities or other personal welfare obligations?

Thank you,

Mark + Heather

Custody Issues / IL Move Away Question
« on: Oct 15, 2007, 08:32:37 AM »
A child may not be removed permanently from the state of Illinois without a court order. The custodial parent must file a removal petition.

When and how does the Non-custodial parent get notified of this?

When and how is the Non-custodial parent given an opportunity to contest the removal of the Child?

Divorced 4 years. Mother has Custody. 1 minor Child 16yrs old

Mother is moving to another state. Child wants to live with Father and remain in the area due to Family (all immediate and extended family of both parents live in Father's home area), Church, School, ect.

Mother informed Father verbally in person she is moving out of state. Mother and Father began negotiating/talking about Child living with Father for @ 4 weeks when Mother stopped communicating and said she will not allow Child to stay with Father.

Custody Issues / Win Your Child Custody War (question)
« on: May 30, 2005, 08:28:50 PM »

"Win Your Child Custody War"by Charlotte Hardwick
The SPARC site has a review recomending it in the article archive.

Has anybody read this book or used it to help there case?"

Thank you,
Mark and Heather

Custody Issues / ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?
« on: Aug 11, 2004, 11:26:50 PM »


I am the SM. My husband, the BF is the NCP. He has 3 girls from a previous marriage, ages 17(soon to be 18), 15(soon to be 16), and 13. They currently live with the BM. The BM lives 30 min away from us. All of the BF and BM's family live in the same town as us. The middle and youngest,  have expressed to us for some time that they want to live with us. The oldest is not an issue in this case. We would be happy to have and want custody.

The BM is classic PAS to the fullest extreme and then some. The girls are aware of it and are angry about it. The BM is verbally and emotionally abusive. The BM has told the girls "there is no way in hell I will let your father have you." The girls are scared of their BM and what will happen to them if they ask to live with BF. Also, they are scared of what BM will do to them if they would have to live with her during a custody trial.

Recently the middle daughter, on her own,  got up the courage to ask to live with BF and the BM's response to this was very bad. BM told the daughter that there was no way she would let that happen. Then told her that she will decide when she will get to be allowed to see her father again. (Disregarding BF's visitation rights) She threatened to talk to the daughter's friends and parents so they would be aware of "what was going on" and then accused the same people of putting the ideas into her head. To top it all off she is forcing the girls to tell her at least once a day that they want to stay with her.

Other Examples of problems with BM:
1. BM tries to guilt and bribe girls to not want to see their BF.
2. Tries to get them to call him vulgar names when they are on the phone with her during the visitation she is constantly interrupting.
3. BM remarried to man with 3 boys, aprox. ages to the girls. When the guys moved in, they were forced to give up their bedrooms and move into the unfinished basement and sleep on air mattresses.
4. One daughter is made to share a bed with her step-brother.
5. BM has joked that she has sex in their bed when they are not home.
6. One daughter took BM's prescription meds to try to get high and it resulted in an overdose. The prescription was one that the BM had no longer been taking for a long time but was keeping in the house.
7. Girls have witnessed physical violence between SF and his sons, they were also told SF carries a loaded gun at all times (illegal in IL) and claim to have seen the gun.
8. When BM asked about their feelings at the time of the divorce the girls responded "happy" and were punished.

It only gets worse from there and the girls are constantly fighting with and fighting off BM. This behavior from her is not new and has always been present.
The girls have gotten to the point that the have told us they will run away. Or when they come to see BF they will refuse to leave. They have said “Go ahead, let Mom call the cops, she can't make us come home."

We were told that if the girls ever refuse to go home we should call the police. At that time, CPS could possibly be called in to investigate and grant BF temporary custody. Also that CPS would act on behalf of the girls in court to change custody.


Does anybody know the laws in Illinois? If so, we are trying to get an idea of how that would play out. Any information about what will happen?
We want to protect the girls and do what is best for them.

Any information and comments are welcome.
Thank you,
IL Step Mom

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