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Messages - heather2662

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Dear Socrateaser / Illinois: When does child support end?
« on: Jan 09, 2005, 10:23:38 AM »
State: Illinois
County: Clark

My oldest is going to turn 18 on Jan. 30th 2005. She will graduate high school at the end of the school year.

Since the time of the divorce (OCT. 2003) I have been paying child support directly to the BM by personal check. Each check is noted "Child Support week ending xx/xx/xxxx" I scan a copy of the pay stub with the support check and keep record of it on my computer. I print a copy of the check and stub together and enclose it with the support check sent to BM.

My divorce papers are very "general" and state that 32% is to be taken from my pay for support. It does NOT state anywhere when child support ends.


1. When does child support end in Illinois?
2. Is there an 18 or end of high school rule?

Thank you,

Dear Socrateaser / BF pays for trip, what if BM wont let child go?
« on: Oct 03, 2004, 06:40:01 PM »
Illinois Residence.

Divorced in Oct. 2003. Three children, 17, 15, 13.

I am the Bio Father. Bio Mother has sole physical custody. Daughter is 13yrs old.

My Duaghter was recently been nominated to participate in the government program,  "People to People Student Ambassador Program."

(President Dwight D. Eisenhower founded People to People during his administration. People to People Student Ambassadors travel overseas for two to three weeks during the summer to learn, share, and represent their communities and schools.)

Bio Mother refuses to pay for program and wants nothing to do with this at all. That is just fine with me, I elected to pay for the trip alone.

The total estimated cost of the trip is just over $6,000.00.

Daughter told me that Bio Mother uses the trip occasionally as leverage in arrguments. general example: " If you don't do want I say, I won't let you go on the trip."

Bio Mother frequently interupts my visitation time and withholds children from visitation time and the make-up visitation time. She has not been coopertive or willing to work with me on almost every matter we encounter.

As the  time gets closer to the Student Ambassador Program departure date, the amount of the refund and portion fee withholding changes. (Closer to the date - the less money you can get back, all the way to $0.)


1. If I get her to sign an agreement of some sort that she gives her permission for Daughter to go on trip, can I use that to ensure my investment and that Daughter gets to go?

2. If Bio Mother backs out and refuses to let Daughter go, making me loose any money, can I sue her in court? Please advise on possible outcome with and without signed agreement.

Thank you,

General Issues / On the SPARC site/Law & Litigation FAQ
« on: Sep 20, 2004, 10:50:14 AM »
On the SPARC site under: SPARC Law & Litigation FAQ

What are the "few exceptions?" refered to in Q&A #12:

12. Do I have the right to copies of records that are held by lawyers that I have released or fired?  

Yes, with few exceptions, you have the right to a copy of everything that is in your legal file. If you are on reasonable terms with the attorney, ask to come by and look through the file for what you need. If not, you may need to send letters requesting the records that you want. Send the request letters by certified mail so you'll have an audit trail, in case there's a problem getting the records.  

The matter is now closed and I am making payments on the legal bill. Is that one of the "exceptions? I sure hope not!
Thank you,
Mark + Heather

General Issues / Father's Rights protester
« on: Sep 13, 2004, 11:29:39 AM »
Check out this story:


'Batman' protest at queen's palace
Monday, September 13, 2004 Posted: 2:23 PM EDT (1823 GMT)

LONDON, England (CNN) -- London's police chief has demanded an urgent inquiry after a fathers rights campaigner dressed as Batman evaded supposedly tight security to stage a protest on a Buckingham Palace balcony.

Officers, facing their second security breach in four months after the group pelted Prime Minister Tony Blair with flour-filled condoms, took five hours to finally bring the protester down from Queen Elizabeth's London residence.

Police said no members of the royal family were in the palace but admitted the man -- identified by campaigners as Jason Hatch, a 32-year-old father of two -- should not have been able to scale the perimeter fence with a ladder and climb onto the high-profile balcony.

Scotland Yard issued a statement saying London police chief Sir John Stevens had demanded a report on the incident by Tuesday morning.

Stevens said "the intruder was readily identified as performing a publicity stunt but if he had been carrying a gun or a bomb he would probably have been shot," the statement added.

"He said that the CCTV (close-circuit television monitoring) and the alarms worked and the police response was speedy but nevertheless it was unacceptable that the wall had been scaled and he would ensure that whatever was necessary would be done in relation to improved security."

Former Buckingham Palace spokesman Dickie Arbiter said officials would be seriously embarrassed by Monday's incident.

He told Sky News: "They will be very seriously embarrassed by what has happened, and they will be looking at ways now to really tighten up on possibly even public access, and make it even harder to get in.

"But they've made it hard already, so how much harder they can make it in the light of this I don't really know."

The campaign group Fathers 4 Justice said Hatch, from Cheltenham, in western England, scaled the palace's outer fence helped by a would-be accomplice, Dave Pyke, dressed as comic hero Batman's sidekick Robin.

Meanwhile, other protesters distracted the attention of armed police by climbing on the front gate.

The group said police had threatened to shoot Pyke unless he got down from the fence, "which we think is unacceptable because this is a peaceful, non-violent protest." Police declined to comment on the incident.

Hatch, wearing grey tights, black pants and cape, the superhero's bat symbol and a mask with pointed ears, then climbed up on the palace balcony -- which is used by the royals for ceremonial occasions.

Standing on a ledge to the right hand side of the balcony, about 8 meters (25 feet) above the ground, he unfurled a banner that read: "Super dads of fathers 4 justice."

Also on the banner were the words: "Fighting for your right to your kids."

After spending five hours trying to persuade the protester to come down, police on a cherry picker finally removed him at 7.20 p.m.

Royal security was reviewed after a Daily Mirror reporter got a job at Buckingham Palace as a servant before U.S. President George W. Bush stayed there during a state visit in November last year.

Stand-up comedian Aaron Barschak also highlighted lax security by gate-crashing Prince William's 21st birthday party at Windsor in June last year.

Fathers 4 Justice, which says Britain's courts are biased against fathers in divorce cases involving child access, are notorious for their publicity stunts.

Its attack on Blair in the House of Commons four months ago caused a massive security alert amid fears of a terrorist attack and prompted changes to access rules for parliament.

General Issues / RE: I stole this....interesting question though...
« on: Sep 01, 2004, 10:55:01 PM »
Hell... in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!

She spends all the money on herself anyway...
new sports car for her, jewelry, clothes, ect.

My husband's name is still on the paperwork for the house and every month WE get the statement in the mail showing the $1,000+ payment is late.

BM just informed kids the other weekend (interrupted visitation to do so) that her and the new husband plan to buy a Hummer...FOR HIM. The kids responded to us saying "Yea right, where is the money for that going to come from? She tells us she can't afford to buy us school clothes this year?"

NO DOUBT at all she would take the money and be JUST FINE with no responsiblity...

The kids keep saying there is no supervision at the house anyway, BM and the SF are never home...Hell, my one SD had an overdose Jan '04 taking some of BM old Depression Med's she had been keeping.

Heather - IL Step Mom

General Issues / This will piss you off-Give your opinion
« on: Aug 17, 2004, 10:26:54 AM »
Hello all,
I am IL Step Mom, the one that posted "ILLINOIS Can CPS Help?" My name is Heather and some of you met my husband Mark in Chat not to long ago. I posted the original message in a couple different group sites hoping to get as much info as pos.

I got a response from a woman that is an absolute idiot. It's like she stopped reading after the word PAS. To me, she sounds like a bitter
B!T@# that prob. alienated her own kids from their dad because he left her after he couldn't take her S#!T anymore.

I'm not going to respond to her CRAP, but I needed to say something somewhere.  Read my post #2639, "ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?" then READ THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?

Thank you,
Heather-IL Step Mom

From:  bright one
Date:  Sun Aug 15, 2004  8:51 pm
Subject:  Re: [FamilyWars] ILLIINOIS Can CPS help?
ILL Step Mother:
I find your comments amusing. PAS?????????????? Where did that come from? It is not a diagnosable diagnosis in the DM14 edition. Who has been putting these thoughts into your head? These are not your
children, they belong to their mother and father and you are merely there to support them when they are with their father. Do you talk about PAS to these kids? I sure hope not because that would make you the alienator. You should not be talking to these kids about custody or anything else involving the father and mother. They are "scared to death of her",come on, this is their mother, they lived with her for many years, why would all of a sudden they be afraid of her? Your story is many of the "father's rights group" that is bankrupting america by bringing this to the courtroom for endless years of litigation, therapists, counseling, you name, it will happen. I do not know you, but you really need to take a step back from this and be objective not SUBJECTIVE, which is what your questions reek of. You are taking the
father's side and ask yourself this question--why did he have these children with her, leave her and them marry you? There surely were some good aspects to this woman, HIS CHILDREN'S MOTHER. Go ahead and call DCFS, you will find out what countless of other good parents have been put through by this so called "childs advocate agency". Do you really want to be the one to call DCFS on these kids mother? If things are so bad why isn't the school calling them, why aren't these kids who appear old enough to make decisions telling the "right people"? Perhaps there is some truth to your story here, but I do know the law and there is no such thing as Parent Alienation Syndrome. Some crack pot who stabbed himself over 50 times to death thought this up. Now why would he stab himself to death repeatedly if there was nothing wrong with him? Please be objective, take a step back and find out what you are up against if you start this WAR.

Second Families / RE: Stepparent Issue Question
« on: Aug 25, 2004, 10:43:55 AM »
My husband told me an amusing story the other day that I think I should share with you.......

One of the guys he works with told a story about his kids calling the SM, "mom" This made the BM furrious and she got a court order for it to stop. (I didn't know such a thing could happen)

Now the kids (on there own!) call the SM "the pretty one"...
I wonder wich one makes her more mad? LOL

Heather-IL Step Mom

Visitation Issues / Reasonable Visitation Definition?
« on: Sep 20, 2004, 09:58:13 AM »
What is the legal definition under Illinois law for “Reasonable Visitation?”

It applies to me as written in my divorce papers for visitation with my teenage children.

It says:   The Respondent (me) shall be entitled to reasonable visitation, including overnight visitation.

There are periods of time that I have had my kids for visitation every other weekend and there are times that they don’t see me for weeks. This has been hingent on what the ex-wife feels is reasonable.

 She makes reference to the statement "reasonable visitation" on a stedy basis, conected to email communications that are suppose to be about the children and med bills we share, only. She feels this is a threat and has been one of the many intimidation tactics she has used to effect my relationship with my kids.

In addition she uses the same tactics with the kids. For example, when they ask about making plans with me she will make a point of telling them "Your father only gets reasonable visitation, thats all, I'll prove it, I'll show you the divorce papers."

Can I file contempt “non-compliance with Visitation Order”  when I don’t get to see them for consecutive weeks in a row. Especially when the kids have no school club activities or other personal welfare obligations?

Thank you,

Mark + Heather

Custody Issues / RE: IL Move Away Question
« on: Nov 02, 2007, 01:10:55 PM »
Thank you so much for writing back. I will try to keep this simple and organized.

1.) Correct. No contest. Also no legal representation. My husband just wanted it over with, ex and both lawyers were dragging it out.

2.) Yes, we fear an unfair judicial system.

WHAT I'M ASKING IS: RE: 'removal' and 'notification' - Once the mother notifies the court of 'intent to relocate the child,' who notifies the child's Father??? Is it the court responsible or the ex wife?

***We actually know that the mother has no idea about the law.

3.) It's actually a Daughter not a son. Yes, she tried to tell her Mom that she wants to live with her Dad. The Mother's reactions have been ongoing and range from name calling like "selfish b*tch" to bribery with money and gifts.

***The Mother is very manipulative and extreme PAS. The daughter is mature enough to recognize her mother’s behavior and has already caused damage to her feeling towards her Mom. All 3 of her adult (18 and over) sisters are aware of and were subjected to their Mother's "negative" behavior and have begun to slowly pull away and limit all communications with the Mom.

4.) The Mother is remarried and her husband was given an forced promotion. (Move or you don't have a job.) They are moving 275 miles away= 5hrs.

***Since the divorce, the father has lived only 30min away from the mother's home where the children resided with her.

***In addition, my husband and I both maintain a friendly relationship with the family of his ex wife, to benefit the kids. i.e. The ex wife's parents, siblings, and extended family. While the ex has almost no contact with any of them at all, and is not on speaking terms with some of them.

***All family members mentioned above what the daughter to stay in the area and live with her dad.

NOTE: In all communication between the Mother and Father, the Mother makes it clear that all she is concerned about is money and child support. There is little to none mentioned by her, nor does she respond to mentions of, what their daughter wants or feels, how it will affect her, or her best interests in general.

Custody Issues / RE: IL Move Away Question
« on: Oct 15, 2007, 11:31:16 AM »
Divorce decree says nothing about moving for either party. There has not been a parenting plan drawn up ever.

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