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Yes, you would file in the state where you are a resident, so the last place you lived is where you would file.

If you are the one to move and create the distance, you may be required to provide DD's transportation. At her age, she is legally allowed to fly unaccompanied, so if he ends up paying he may fly her that way. How much longer is he going to be there for after you move?

Filing while he is abroad won't give you any benefits other than you would file where you move to rather than having to file where you all currently live (for instance, if you had been living in another state instead of another country, you would have to file there). Depending on the judge, and the situation, it may be frowned upon. My DH is military and we are overseas in Japan, and his ex filed a case and she was scolded for it. But that's not always how it will happen (his ex was trying to prevent visitation while he is overseas).

Is there any way that the two of you can work out a parenting plan yourselves for your daughter? And can you meet with a mediator for the divorce issues? If the two of you can solve this on your own, it will be better for your daughter. You have a few months now that you two will be there together if you are waiting til the end of the school year, so can you all sit down and discuss the important stuff?

Medical and school records, would you need to subpeona the doctors and teachers? Or would the records be enough? One thing we do plan to use, among others, is medical and educational records...

Right now, we have binders, divided into sections, and each section has a subsection. I was thinking of scanning everything and putting it on a thumb drive for an attorney, so that they have all the information without all the papers, because we have a LOT.

I'm curious--what do YOU do to prepare for a custody hearing? How do you organize records? What do you document? Do you make copies for your attorney? What about witness statements--do you have them typed and notarize or do you record their statements for your records? Do you have letters of recommendation? etc etc etc. Anything and everything would be good to hear

I definitely wouldn't tell him that you'd get one for him if he lived there. But, given that you have already bought them computers in the past and that are now gonetrashed, you could simply say that you don't want to purchase such a high ticket item given the history of computers missing/broken at his other home. That way, it's not placing blame on the ex that she should be providing this stuff, but at the same time putting you in a position to buy one. A laptop isn't something a child needs, no matter what the age.

If your son needs school supplies, buy them if you have the money. That kind of stuff shouldn't be about if the other parent should be providing it. My husband and I buy my SD's school supplies every year for the last 3 years, and bought some after school started the year before we started buying school supplies every summer. He pays CS monthly, pays for all transportation, provides medical/dental insurance (and co-pays and uncovered expenses), he provides for SD in our home, and he provides clothing for my MIL's home (where SD is EOWE due to us being overseas with the military). We spend thousands a year in addition to CS between all of that. We don't feel we should HAVE to buy the school supplies given the ex gets CS, but my SD wouldn't get it if we didn't. It's our duty as parents to make sure our kids have what they NEED, regardless of who SHOULD provide it.

If both of them signed the paperwork, couldn't your attorney just submit that with a motion to make it an Order? Let BM's attorney file to argue it and let the judge decide if they will go by the agreement.

How strong of an influence do medical records and doctors' notes have in Court?

My husband recently got a copy of a medical appointment report in the mail stating that SD has "problems in the home environment". We also have that in writing from the school counselor in her report following SD's 504/IEP evaluation. There is also documentation that BM wants medication increased when it's not necessary to increase it (as the behavioral issues are not related to AHD), and and admittance from BM in the doctor's paperwork that SD was exhibiting signs of ADHD prior to DH having to take the issue of testing/treatment to Court (she stated before age 7 there were symptoms. DH filed a month before SD's 7th birthday), while she claimed in Court paperwork that SD showed no signs. There's also a few lines in there about how SD needs to try other methods (DH has been asking for a YEAR to try the methods they recommended. This appointment was in April, it's now almost September and BM still hasn't started any of the other treatments), and how BM wants to increase the medication rather than try additional treatments, and how the doctor feels that in addition to ADHD, SD also has behavioral issues, a possible learning disability (that got ruled out with the school eval), and the line about the problems in the home environment. The doctor also noted that BM stated that SD is behind in all aspects of schooling, yet she ignored DH asking to have SD tested not only for ADHD but also the IEP/504 Evaluation AFTER the diagnosis was received. It wasn't until DH told the school intervention specialist that he couldn't make the decision solely (when she asked DH if he wanted SD evaluated to start the process), and the specialist emailed BM, that BM finally agreed.

Can any of this be used when/if he fights for primary custody?

When DH has gone, he's always gotten the verbal orders the day of Court and then later gets the paper copy in the mail.

"Love your child more than you hate your ex"


WOW, very awesome quote bloom. !

I do agree,but I cannot take credit I've read it over and over again on this site

I am in MI and am the custodial parent.  I received paper work that my ex wants the support order modified and it states that I am voluntarily unemployed and asking that income be imputed.   I was laid off almost three years ago and have not worked since.  I did look although I never found something that made enough to justify paying for daycare.  Will the court impute a salary for me and how do they determine that?  There is little chance I am able to make my old salary again.  My ex also makes a lot more than he did at the time of the original order but also has another child he is now paying support on as well. 

In MI, they can either impute your last salary, or if the Court feels 3 years it too long ago, they will impute a salary equal to your "earning potentional" based on your education and previous jobs. If you have a Bachelor's Degree, the lowest they will impute is full time minimum wage (or so said the FOC to my DH when he asked...) If you had one or more previous jobs that had a higher income than that, they may use one of those, or average those incomes.

Yes, and if you search this site you'll find a great letter to use.

The letter is awesome. We've used it with SD's old school, who would never contact DH until he mailed it in