Messages

21

Child Support Issues / Re: How does child support work?

« on: Dec 28, 2009, 12:41:39 am »

I think i understand it. It's not based on how much she is making, rather they just assume I put in 20% of my check towards my son, correct?
FOr example, even if she made 130K a year, i'm still in for 20%

22

Visitation Issues / Re: Visitation and Depression meds

« on: Dec 27, 2009, 11:26:26 pm »

Too late for police report now....next time if any ...yes. She may ask for a psychological for you. When was the last time you were at the dr? Go back and have them do a recheck and confirm no meds for now. Has anything happened since the last time she let you have him alone? If not, you can bring that up....
Do you have any court orders in the courts now?

Here'ss the thing. Since his birth, she has never really let me be alone with him. I took him once to visit a friend of mine while she was on an interview, and she flipped out on me. I tried to respect the whole "i'm not ready to let him out of my sight" thing, but it's gotten ridiculous...
Nothing has happened since I left her. I've actually been quite fine for a while, but I figured getting back to the dr  to get his new prognosis is a good idea.

23

Visitation Issues / Visitation and Depression meds

« on: Dec 27, 2009, 06:34:47 pm »

I kinda mentioned this on the child custody board, but I figure this might be a better place. My ex and I were together from Nov of last year till a couple weeks ago. She is denying me unsupervised visitation based on me having depression issues in the beginning of the year. I was on Lexapro and Xanax (took them per the prescribed dosage) and have been done with them since july. I have shown NO depression symptoms since just before my son was born.
My ex says that I was unhappy much of the past year. She would be right as being with someone that berates you and is spiteful and hateful will make anyone unhappy.
She is now saying "You can't see him alone because you are unstable. I'm doing what's best for our son." Keep in mind this is after I broke up with her after dealing with her for a year.
She also brought up that because of my prior Domestic Violence issues, she no longer feels safe with me. (Little backstory, My ex fiance 7 years ago was cheating on me. He called me to tell me he had been sleeping with her. during an argument with both of them, I spit on her. I went to DV counseling for six months and had my record expunged.) I have never threatened her, nor touched her physcially. She however, slapped me the other night. Due to her blatantly making things up, i fear she's going to say something like i laid my hands on her. WHich I would never do.
Currently I'm going to be filing in court for unsupervised visitation. Do I go to the police about her slapping me? What would happen to our son if she is arrested if I haven't been granted unsupervised visitation?
 
Any help would be appreciated.

24

Illinois State Forum / Costs for filing for Visitation

« on: Dec 27, 2009, 05:44:45 pm »

I have to go this week to file for visitation and custody in Cook County due to the fact my ex will not let me take my son out of her home. I am only being allowed to see him from the hours of 6pm - 9pm..
What sort of costs am I looking at for filing this on my own?

25

Child Support Issues / Re: How does child support work?

« on: Dec 26, 2009, 12:40:21 am »

What state are you in? Most states have a formula. Mine is 17% for one child of your check...harsh. Some states give you credit for the amount of OVERNIGHTS you have (not days....). If you get 50/50 you may still have to pay some to make the two house equal. Dont give her anything now, it wont count. Put money aside if possible into an account until the state makes you account. The state usually takes the money right from your check and deposits into her account.

I'm in IL.
So if she ends up making 53k and i'm making 35k, i'm still responsible for paying her money?

26

Custody Issues / Re: Ex gf will not let me have unsupervised visits with my son

« on: Dec 26, 2009, 12:38:04 am »

1)  No
2)  No
3)  No

None of that affects custody.  What matters is who is the child's primary care giver? Who has been taking care of and providing for the child?  Until paternity is proven and the courts give you access rights, she has full custody and can make determinations regarding the child.  Are you off meds you should be on?

Courts are closed tomorrow, it's Christmas.

I was on anti depressants... My prescriptions were done in June I believe.. I still had some left and took them through July. However, I ran out and have felt great. She is mistaking my unhappiness with her, for depression.

27

Child Support Issues / How does child support work?

« on: Dec 24, 2009, 01:44:18 am »

I started a custody thread on the other forum, and now i need to question Child support. She started threatening me with child support.
Here's my questions.
1) She's out of work now, but when she returns, she will probably make more than i do. Do i owe her anything?
2) If i am able to get 50/50 or full custody (i'm going for 50/50) do i owe her anything?
3) she is a leech of the govt. She makes $1600 in unemployment a month, and i make roughly 2000 a month at my job...
What am i up against here? I have an apt and bills to pay, she lives with her parents at 30 yrs old.

28

Custody Issues / Re: Ex gf will not let me have unsupervised visits with my son

« on: Dec 24, 2009, 12:36:05 am »

Do the following things help my case at all?
1) the mother is a slob. Last time I visited, there was garbage and dirty diapers all over the place. I took pictures.
2) the mother has not worked in 15 months. She lives with her family who also do not work. Her father has not brought in a paycheck in 8 years. Her mother is on disability.
3) the house she is keeping him in is in disrepair. There are holes in teh wall, wires hanging from light fixtures, floor is never swept and there are building materials all over the floor just outside the room he lives in.

29

Custody Issues / Re: Ex gf will not let me have unsupervised visits with my son

« on: Dec 24, 2009, 12:19:52 am »

She is now changing our plans for xmas. She was supposed to bring him down on friday. She called today and says she no longer feels safe with me because of my past DV arrests (i was arrested in 2002 for fighting back against my ex's bf that she had been cheating on me with. it was expunged.)
I'm keeping a journal on what she does and said, but it was clear today by her emails that she is going into straight lawyer mode and is attempting to get me to make a mistake which will give her FULL custody. She is emailing me saying that I have been unstable and she fears for our sons safety because i am off my meds. (let me clarify, i have never threatened her, struck her and rarely raised my voice). tomorrow I'm getting the paternity paperwork and trying to file my paperwork in court tomorrow if possible.

30

Custody Issues / Re: Ex gf will not let me have unsupervised visits with my son

« on: Dec 20, 2009, 06:05:26 pm »

You will file at the courthouse in the county mom lives in. They may have forms online, but you'll have to physically file the papers.

At this point mom is the only one with rights to the child. Once you have yours established, she'll have to abide by the court orders. There may be standard parenting times for her county which may limit your time with a newborn (short, frequent visits are best), but it will increase in time.

Are you saying from a legal standpoint only she has rights right now?