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Messages - RoosterC

#21
Quote from: MixedBag on Feb 26, 2011, 05:27:36 AM
GAL -- guardian ad litem an individual appointed by the court to look out for the children's interest in this process.

EVERYONE in the process is always interested in settling out of court  -- except attorney's who may be egging you on to go to court, but ethically, if they can get you to agree to an agreement, that's on their mind too somewhere.


Thanks. There is no GAL.
As for settling out of court, We've tried to defuse this at several points and have made two VERY reasonable ofers at out of court resolution but Im dealing with someone who has been assured by her counsel that as the mother she has nothing to worry about, that having made allegations of emotional abuse, even if disproven, will likely be given creedence with a better safe than sorry notion, and that she has 'nothing to lose' that the 'worst that will happen is that things stay 50/50'. At the moment, it appears all to likely to be the case.
I can tell you its going to be painful to have to dip into what Ive sved for college to fight this.
#22
We are 'somewhere' in the evaluator process. There was a solo but it was more a long interview of health and family history. The meeting where we were to each express concerns never got around to me (I will be afforded time later) and was a littany of rehashing disproven allegations and meanspirited comments like "why do you try to talk to them, dont you know they dont want to speak to you" and "your son doesnt want to be with you, why are you holding on, dont you care what HE wants". She was frantic to avoid the tape being played.
My attorney has definitely used the term alienation in the counter, as did CYS.
I just bought "divorce poison" and its a creepy kind of relief to know Im not alone.
There is no hearing yet.
I do not know what a GAL is.
I guess each meeting I AM being evaluated?!

But I do get the vibe that the goal with this evaluator is to knock heads together and reach some deal that keeps the local dockets manageable.
#23
Without sounding creepy, it goes EVERYWHERE with me in a zip lock bag in my briefcase. There is no tape to remove, its digital, about 1.5 inches by 3 inches by 3/4 thick.
Maybe Im too close to this but I think it shows how this poisoning is being done.
and I know that we are only supposed to talk about how things affect the kids but I feel violated, my kids were primed to provoke responses (that never came) for the sole purpose of feeding a custody attempt. Its not just the tape, its what went into making some of whats on it. I was being set up. Thank goodness I never took the bait, fact is I never would.
Now she is claiming the kids were given the tape to "show to" me in case I got angry and tell me "daddy, I want to tape you so you know how you sound when your angry"....oddly, they do not remember it that way. Not oddly, I never got angry, even then.
and I suspect the prior calls being covertly taped and the hesitance to surrender it will tend to make that claim sound like the fabrication it is.
Im tired of being painted as a monster.
#24
Facts: After instigating a false emotional abuse claim (dismissed by county) ex alternated witholding custody contact (documented) with what seemed at the time to be very odd phone contact. Some calls even sounded like a machine in the background, when I mentioned this and even asked  "are you recording me?" the noise would stop after a rustling or the call would cut off.
When I fanally did get kids back by pressing custody order to local police, things seemed ok, we didnt dwell on what was going on, just rried to get back to 'life'.
Next morning, see shape outline in son's pants, after nervous defensive reaction to question, he hands over a very very small concealed recording device which he explains his mother gave him to try to record any reaction I had to the false charges; he said he felt uncomfortable with doing this especially after the false charges, (the previous evening his mother evidently said to give the recorder to his siter if he "didnt have the guts"
Funny, there was nothing to tape, 5 minutes of calm conversation, reassurances that Id do all I could to make things OK again, and then homework and dinner, a movie and off to bed.
On the tape I discovered Id been taped for quite some time (illegal in my state) and that those phone conversations that felt 'funny' were prepped and recorded by mom. Again, oddly, nothing Id be ashamed of beyond how terribly like Mr Rogers I sound when I talk to my kids.
But ALSO on the recorder were recordings made by ex's live in boyfriend with his (still current) wife. Details include incidents requiring rehab, leaving rehab, mention of 'drug counselor' and claims he does not drink anymore (I have oodles of evidence he still does)
My lawyer seems inclined to think this is our nuclear option in the custody battle ex has brought to me with same emotional abuse charges that county debunked.
How can I insure those recordings (alchohol tapes) get heard? they are relevant to whats going on in that house, right?
Im not donald trump, do I need to get all this transcribed or just keep the recorder?
Should I try to get criminal charges while or after the case for the hidden recordings?
How do you get the evaluator to acknowlege or listen to this thing?
Thanks
PS- when this is all over, Ill share what Ive learned to help the next batch of parents, promise!