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Messages - Heston

#31
Would really appreciate some opinions on this.  The BM is now denying my parental time with my daughter by claiming she is vomiting and has stomach pains.  This is a variation of the occasion about a month ago when she took a bag of vomit to a police offer stating my child was sick because she did not want to see me.  They have now got my daughter trained (brainwashed) into lying to drs, counselors and police at the tender age of 9.  Their MO is clear.  They tell the counselor via my daughter that I am mean and hit her.  They tell police officers the same and say she is sick.  They now take her to MDs with the same story.  They create "evidence", that would normally be seen as indisputable.  I am wondering if there is any way out of this.  They are intent on removing me by any means by telling whatever lies they want to the appropriate people.  My daughter is too terrified not to lie because she thinks her mom will get in trouble and go to jail if she doesn't do as she is told.  She loves the mom who is selling her down the river and will do anything to "protect" her.  My daughter is contantly worried that something will happen to her mom while she is away from her.

The BM obviously thinks if she convinces the judge with her "evidence" that my daughter is ill at the thought of seeing me, the judge will stop her seeing me.  She will have compelling evidence even though it is all lies.

There are 3 scenarios re sickness.  Either my daughter isn't sick and its a lie.  Or they have given her something to eat which made her sick  (not unheard of as they've given her laxatives just before visits to me so she spent the entire weekend in the bathroom).  Or my daughter is sick.  Whatever the scenario I cannot prove it one way or another.  In court, going on the basis that my daughter is sick, I can point out that with the degree of alienation going on before visits and during transportation, it is little wonder if she gets sick with nerves.  Her stepfather yelled hateful remarks about me during the journey when he brought her recently and my daughter was really upset when she arrived.  The grandma does the same.  The BM tells her "I hate him and am only taking you there because if I don't, he will make sure I go to jail".  I have tape recordings of my daughter telling me this but I doubt it will be accepted as evidence.  The BM has the "evidence" and I have none, basically, to show what they are doing.

Much as I know I need an attorney due to the serious nature of the problems and much as I want to get one, I am unable to and have to represent myself pro se.
#32
Thanks for that information.

I have another question which I wondered if anyone might know the answer to.  I have to provide discovery evidence to the BMs attorney next week.  I know that it doesn't have to include arguments on my part.  I have a ton of emails to present in evidence.  I will also have medical reports, police reports and so on.  I am not sure if I have to give them to the BMs attorney.  As I see it, that is more like evidence to support my arguments.  But I am unsure because from the research I have done, it appears you cannot add evidence at the hearing if you have not produced it to the opposing attorney.
#33
Just wondered if anyone knows anything about getting tapes or videos transcribed?  Can I transcribe them into typed reports?  I have lots of highly relevant audio and video tapes and plenty of stuff proving parental alienation.  I only have one week in which to have all this ready.   

My daughter admitted to cops her mom told her to lie.  She was too scared to say much about her injury.  She is terrified (with good reason) of the step dad.  Police did not have enough evidence and closed case.  CPS involved but not sure what is happening there.   
#34
The injury was done a week before they got her seen by an md.  They got the cast put on, same day she was delivered for weekend visit.  Maybe to hide the injury.  I wanted to go back to the hospital with my daughter but she insisted she didn't want to go.  I do need to take her to a medical doctor and will do if the bm does not stop visits.  It's like now it's just my word on it.  I definitely need a third party involved. 

Until that happens the police can't press charges.  I will pursue this because a restraining order is important.  It will be difficult for my daughter to tell a third party due to the threats.  I will consider the school option too.

Thanks for the suggestions.
#35
I tried to file either an EPO or restraining order against the step dad yesterday.  Spent all day at the court house.  Unable to do it.  Can only do them if I am related to the person in question or am part of their family unit.  They do not cover children.  Double checked on the court's legal forms when I got home.  Impossible to file either one.

I would be filing as dad with joint physical and legal custody against step dad in residential home.  Actually stepd dad on and off, but currently on. 

Although I contacted CPS, I feel its vital to file some sort of protective order.  BM most likely will be able to fob the CPS off, based on what she has done to date. 

Really needs to be done today.  Should have been done yesterday.  Does anyone know if this is possible?

Thanks
#36
Quote from: gemini3 on Jun 06, 2011, 05:48:08 AM
Just a thought... since you want the pick-up's to remain as is, and that is what was recommended by the JCO.  I would ask that the motion be dropped because the mother has not met the change in circumstance test.  Any time there is a change to a CO, the petitioner must first prove that a "substantial change in circumstance" has occured.  If one has not occured, then the judge usually won't hear the case.  Sometimes, if it's unclear whether one has been met, the judge will hear the case and then deny the motion based on failure to prove a change in circumstance.

So, for me, the first step would be to request the motion be denied for failure to meet change in circumstance test.  If that doesn't work;

Regarding dealing with her narcissism.  I recommend reading "Splitting:  Protecting Yourself When Divorcing a Borrderline or Narcissist".  You're not divorcing, but it has some great tips on dealing with this kind of person in court.  This site also has a good article on dealing with a Narcissist in court:  http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/narcissist.php (http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/narcissist.php)

I'm am also a huge fan of low/no contact.  This may work for you as well:  http://www.thepsychoexwife.com/appropriate-means-of-contact-with-high-conflict-personalities/ (http://www.thepsychoexwife.com/appropriate-means-of-contact-with-high-conflict-personalities/)

The motion the BM filed asked for other things to be changed.  All things in the CO that were put in place after previous ways of doing things had been tried.  So I did a counter motion stating why I wanted things to remain as they are.  So I now have to present to the court the reasons and I can say there is no change in circumstance.  I also did a motion for contempt because I can show that she has not adhered to the CO and is now asking that is be changed to the way she wants it.  The hearing got postponed because the BM made things turn ugly and filed motions with totally fictitious allegations and all motions will get dealt with in an all day hearing.

Thanks for the info on the books and website.  I will definitely check them out.
#37
I have done this today.  Plus filed a motion asking that the step father is prevented from being near my daughter.  The BM and the step father are such expert liars and also my child is so intimidated by them, I am not sure if the outcome will be as I hope it will be.
#38
I do plan on filling a motion for a GAL.  But things have stepped up as the step dad has broken my child's finger and threatened to break another one if she doesn't lie to help them achieve their goals.  It's getting serious. 
#39
The BM took her to an emergency room doctor 5-6 days after the injury occurred.  I only found out about all this yesterday evening.  Her finger is currently in a cast.  I am considering taking her to a doctor today.  I feel I have to tell a doctor what happened although I am not sure if my daughter will be too scared to tell the truth.  But I know once a medical doctor is informed about child abuse they are legally bound to involve social services.  Something similar happened to someone I know and they got temporary custody automatically from the social worker giving them a form to sign.  I would go to the court Monday to apply for full custody.  My fear is, what if I don't get it.  What danger does that place my child in then.  I have a nice home in a nice area.  It's just that having been constantly employed for many years, I am currently unemployed.  And I wondered if that would prevent me getting full custody in the current circumtances of the danger my child is in.
#40
I have posted before on the same case.  But I have just found out my child's step father has broken her finger and threatened her if she doesn't lie about this and other things to help the BM win at the hearing, he will break more of her fingers.  She is too frightened to tell anyone but me so I am not sure if she would tell a doctor.  If she would, I would automatically get temporary custody.  My dilemna is, if that were to happen, is it likely a court would award full custody if I applied, when I have recently lost my job?  It means my income is drastically reduced but it also means I would be home to care for her full time for the moment.  It would also mean more of my income would be available for her upkeep as I would not then have to pay the BM child support, which I am currently doing.

The BM is doing all in her power to restrict my parental time and will then be trying to get full custody.  The hearing is in a month or so.  There are no grounds, it is all based on lies and they are coercing my child to tell lies to the appropriate people to get the results they want.

Going this route of temporary custody is high risk in case permanent custody is refused and my daughter would be returned to the BM and abusive step father.  The BM is lying about the injury to protect the step father.  I have my daughter this weekend and must decide as soon as possible.

Any feedback would be much appreciated.