Messages

I would just like to thank everyone for there comments. I am going in to see my attorney in person today and I will keep everyone posted. Again, Thank you all for taking your time to try and help me out. I hate even having to go through this but it just seems like my ex is so vindictive that there is never an easy way to handle things anymore.

Trust me, I AM NOT DRAGGING MT FEET! I have been trying since January to locate my son. I first had to wait on school papers here and then I sent them to his new school along with several phone calls to the school and waited and waited till they finally sent me something after school had already recessed for the summer!! I have contacted all of her family her numerous times but no one will return my calls or anything else! I have been steadily fighting for some information. My attorney has been aware of this and has continued to say we have to have an address to serve her at or there is nothing we can do! I just recently got lucky and someone was able to give me a place of employment. Then just Saturday, I cornered her mother face to face (which is the first time that I have actually laid eyes on her since december b/c she has been hiding out from me and avoiding my phone calls). I refused to leave until she gave me information on my son! That is how I got the most recent information. This family is very manipulative and know how to work the system!

My concern was that she said the BM took my rights away in court and got a paper stating she coud take my child anywhere BM wanted and i was never notified. Than BMs mother changed her story and said she went ot court and got a paper allowing her to take him anywhere she wanted. I DON"T KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS BUT I DO WANT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO FROM HERE!

My attorneys office told me BM can not change jurisdiction without this court allowing it and they would fight to keep it here. ?? Don't know how true that is either b/c everyone on here seems to think it can just be changed!?

BMs mother said she would not go to court and defend her daughters actions because she knows that what her daughter is doing is wrong but there is nothing she can do to change things. BM has three children all by different fathers and we are all going through the same thing. BMs mother wants me to fight to force her daughter to come back here. I told her i dont care what her daughter does and that I am not trying to keep my son from his mother I just want my son to have the opportunity to be part of my life as well as his mothers and to be able to have us both in his life.

This is on my mind all the time and I have been researching everything I can to try and figure out the right way to handle this. I don't want anyone to get hurt but right now my son is hurting and I will not stand back and just allow that to happen. I am fighting for him everyday. I have been trying to get my attorneys office to get this filed for two weeks today!! If I file on my own, then what? My attorney walks away with my money and does nothing and I have to find new representation??

But how do I get her served? My attorney says we need an address to serve her at. I have heard of a place that she works and she was supposed to have signed a two year contract there. Can she be served there? If I file here and she does live there for two years, can she later move jurisdiction up there? I have talked to an attorney two weeks ago trying to get something done but nothing has been filed yet. I will be calling them again today.

I guess I am totally confused but I was told that is she filed something here it would have to be on our existing case which was just for child support. We have never had a visitation order or a custody order in place. I seen him regularly, so I never thought anything like this would happen. Bm's mother said taht she was able to get permission from the court to take him since I was behind on child support,so I thought it would have to be linked to my child support case some how.

There has not been any new cases opened here either though, so what does all of this mean? I looked up both my name and her name and nothing came up.

Are you saying she could take him without the permission of the court?

The info for the new school was all whited out but the return address was on the envelope. I have looked up the school and found the boundary map of that particular school but the attorney says that will get me no where without an address for her to be served at.

 

Sorry about the miss understanding, but the BM did drive up to Alaska, right through Canada in late January. That is now confirmed. Apparently she traded her car in for a new expedition, loaded up the kids and took off. I was just told Saturday that she had drove up there and that she had every right to since she went to the court and got it okayed, but I searched our court records here online and nothing was filed on our CS case nor was there anything filed under her name or my name. I wasn't aware that our local court house had gone online but I did some research and still no records were produced. I am going to the court house tomorrow when they open to see if there is anything filed that has not been put on the website but I wouldn't think there would be. I did speak to my attorney's secretary TWO weeks ago about filing something and they called back this past Thursday and said they will get it filed but I never heard from them again. I paid this man $700 up front, so I am hoping he gets on the ball and does something fast.

Can I file this on my own? If I file this on my own, can he withdraw from my case and keep the money I just gave him?

Again, I just know a general area because Anchorage, Alaska is huge and there is 80 something schools in that district. I had a friend who located where she works off of facebook, can we have her served there since we can't get an address? I asked the lady at the attorneys office if we could legally get the address from the school and she said she would ask the attorney and call me back but I have not heard back about that, besides the school district recessed for summer as of May 19th.

If we file ex-parte, I seen where someone said the mother doesn't have to be served, is that right? How do we get my son back then, if she is not served?

Can they serve her family here that are in contact with her or does she have to be the one who gets served if we have to go that route?

Yes, she transferred his school records that is how I located her general area. However, she moved to an area with a population of 300,000 people and she is in the states now (Alaska) but she traveled thru Canada to get him there. We are from a town with a population of 3,000 people. My attorney's office is right across the street from the court house. Can I look up online to see if he has a passport? The local school here gave me copies of everything, no problem, including his transfer request. His new school up there was denying me his information for so long and just recently sent me a copy of his whited out report card. 

Yes, he was born and raised right here in my home state. His mother and I only lived about 1 mile from each other when she up and took off with him. The school only provided me with a copy of his report card but his personal information was all whited out.

If she asked the courts for a passport, would I have had to be notified?
If she would have asked for full custody, would i have been notified?

She couldn't say she didn't know where i was, becasue I was within a mile of her before she took off.

In our state the mother automatically gets full custody since we were never were married. However it was just an understood full custody, nothing was ever officially on paper and I am on the birth certificate. My son is only 8 and does not require a passport but must have something from both parents on the birth certificate if she tries to leave the country with him. However, she had nothing from me. If she did go through the courts for anything, shouldn't I have been notified or at least my attorney? Just wondering if she would have been able to pull this of without me being notified. They really are some very underhanded people who manipulate the system anyway they can!

I truly don't believe she has any documentation that states that she has full custody because I was trying to get school records and the school was giving me a hard time saying they had to verify from mom that I was entitled to them. The BM did not have anything to give the school to keep me from getting the documents. They finally gave me his school records but they removed all of his personal information. The school said that they did that becasuse they had to provide the records because there was nothing keeping me from the information but that BM had requested that I not have their address and phone numbers.

I have just talked to my ex's mother, not by her choice but I ran into her and cornered her about my son's whereabouts, he was taken a few months ago by his BM out of the US. I asked her how his BM did this legally since I did not give permission and the grandmother told me that since I was behind on child support at the time, that the mother went to the court and they gave her permission to go anywhere she wanted without me even being notified. My child support is current now and has been for several months. I was just behind for a few months at the end of the year because of the economy and lack of work.

Could she really have done that without notifiying me at all? Why would I not have been served with something?
What kind of recourse is there, if any?
I feel like I keep getting railroaded when all I want is to see my son.

I am not trying to force my ex to come back here, nor am I trying to take my son from her, I just want to make contact with him and have regular visitation with him. I want to know that he is ok and I want him to know that I am not giving up on him or our relationship and that I am always going to be here for him no matter where she takes him off to.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and I just feel lost.

I know the BM lives in Anchorage (based on the school records request that was sent to our local school), which is a very large area. A relative tried to get BM to accept a friend request on facebook to get info., but she won't do it. Doing my own PI work, I believe she may be working at a hospital there, because all of her friends on facebook work at this particular hospital as surg techs and that happens to be her profession as well.  I believe she is working as a traveling surg tech, which is how she afforded to travel up there.  Don't know if she flew or drove but if she crossed into Canada she had to have done it illegal, as our son is only 8 and would have to have a note (notarized) from the parent that is not present. Son was struggling really bad in school here and I just dont feel like it is in his best interest to be jerked from school to school every six months as her traveling job changes.  I want action done immediately but feel like I am spinning my wheels and getting no where.  Thank you all for your help, if there is anything else you think is important, please don't hesitate to tell me.  I plan on seeing an attorney today to file for custody and just see where we go from there.