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Topics - almostastepmom

#1
Hi there!  I haven't been on the site for some time now, but wanted to make sure that ALL the people in Washingtong state that are on this site, know about what is going on here in Seattle..... My husband, a NCP himself, got involved with this situation just a couple of weeks ago.  To say it is absolute nonsense would be a very big understatement.

Under the chair of Christine Gregoire a commity has been formed to look into changing the guidelines for child support by the NCP.  They have a website and meet every so often.
 http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/dcs/Resources/workgroup.asp

PLEASE, take the time to go to their webisite and see what this commity is trying to change... IT WILL DISGUISED YOU!  If you are a NCP, please also take the time to go to this website and help the fight to stop this commity from putting in place the ideas that they are working on..... I AM BEGGING YOU!  NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD NOT TO GET INVOLVED......
http://toprights.org/Home.asp

Thank you for taking time to read this post.  I am going to try to put it on another site also....
#2
Hello there!  We are looking for a "spit-fire", take no prisoners, down and dirty lawyer for WA state.  My SO's crazy (literally) ex is going after him for more money,  about a $1000.00 more a month on top of what she already gets.
We just need someone who will help us get her back down to earth and give this girl a good kick in the pants before things get out of hand.

Thanks
#3
Washington State Forum / NEED A DAMN GOOD LAWYER
Dec 01, 2003, 03:00:36 PM
We are currently looking for a good lawyer for Washington State.  He/she has to be on the fathers side and most be unbelivable at their job.  We are going to need it.
#4
Child Support Issues / Questions for change?
Sep 30, 2008, 01:11:42 PM
Hi everyone,
  In light of my posting on fathers rights, I thought I would start a post with a very serious question that I hope all of you can help me out with.
If you didn't read my post, it is about a commitee in WA state that has been formed to change the way NCP's pay their child support.  More or less they are looking at every way possible to up the support and make the state and CP's more money.  It is going to very badly hurt all the NCP's that are barely making it now!

So my question is this: What kind of changes would you like to see in the child support area?  Is it they way it is figured out, should it be based on how much time you should actually get with the children, etc...

If you would take a minute and think back to when you had to go through it or are going through it now and think of what just doesn't make sense or what you would like to see changed, I would appreciate it a lot.  If there are people from WA state participating, go to their website and look at the issues they are considering, what would you like to see on there, what do you think about what they are trying to do?

I will be looking forward to reading all of your responses. Thank you!
#5
Child Support Issues / Leaving us in the black
Jun 17, 2005, 09:53:07 AM
Hi there!  
Need to know if anyone has been in this position before or could give me advice on what to do.... Here is the situation.

FI's ex took him back to court to get more CS.  That day the judge set his income and hers and told our lawyers that a program called circle e would be used to figure out the new CS payment.  Our lawyer imputed the incomes and came out thith three sets of numbers.  This is what the program is suppose to do.

The judge then set a new date, which is today, to have us come back and him decide on what amount he is going to make my FI pay.  The problem is, the ex's lawyer got number higher (WAY HIGHER) then ours.  If the judge uses ANY of her numbers, each month after paying his regular bills and her, he will be in the black each month.....

How can that happen?  

The other thing is that same day, the judge said that there will be no more extra money for day care (kids are school age 10 & 11).  She then turns around and signs them up for all kinds of summer camps (claiming that is her day care) and want us to pay for them.  The kids have never been to summer camps before!  Can the judge make us pay for that too?

HELP!
#6
Child Support Issues / Where do we go from here!
Jul 06, 2004, 02:44:28 PM
It's been awhile since I posted, but nothing has changed in our situation.  Let me recap- My SO has 2 kids (D-9 S-10) that live with their mother.  Due to he's job we only get them every 6 weeks for 2 weekends in a row.  He pays her child support and alimony and if you ask me, WAY TO MUCH!  She has always been "crazy" and very careless with her mo, she only works 30 hours a week because she knows that if she works more then that she wouldn't be able to get as much cs from her ex.  
Recently we found a few BIG flaws in the do-it-yourself divorce and child support papers that she wrote up when the got a divorce.  She is asking for more money because she just can't seem to make ends meet now days, and that's because she is supporting her no-good cheating boyfriend without a job.  So she is at my SO throat telling him that he is going to have to pay, pay, pay more money.  
He tried to sit down with her and talk to her about this and all the other crap she is trying to pull on him, but we just got a call today and she is taking him back to court.....
I guess I need to know 2 things.  One, who do I write to in the world of goverment to tell them to pull their heads out and re-write the child support laws and TWO, How do you get a court/judge to see that just because he makes good money and she decides not to get a good job, not to make the current and very up to date and overpaid child support amout to increase.
I have all kinds of legal questions, but it would take forever in a day to write.
#7
Shrink Rap / Looking for advice
Jan 06, 2005, 03:32:02 PM
It's been awhile since I've posted, but am in DESPRITE need of some advice.  My 9 yro SD is having major issues with me (SM) and I just don't know how to handle it.  When coming to our house, she will be very cold to me for the first couple of hours, won't talk to me, look at me, or responde to anything  I say.  Then if she does she will only say things about her mom and what she gets and does with her mom.  Recently on Christmas we had a BIG blow out with her.  I called her out on her attitude and the way she was treating me.  I asked her if she knew that I loved her, she said no.  Yet I tell her every time I see her, every night when I tuck her into bed and she still thinks this.  I told her that I would NEVER treat someone I loved or anyone for that matter the way she treats me.  She just looked at me and walked off.  We then wrote her mother a letter explaining the problems we have been having with her.  Her mother writes back to only my SO and states that I am the problem with why their daughter acts out and this is not the first time that they have expressed that to him and if he eliminates the problem, me, then their daughter would stop acting out.  To my knowledge the only time they have had a problem with me (both he's kids) was when they decided they didn't like OUR rules of the house.  (brush your teeth, make your bed, clean up your messes, etc...) And the SD acts out towards her father also.  She has been VERY unappreciative lately, as been lying to us, and just being plain rude to us and our family.  What on earth do we do?  I am at the end of my ropes and I have to pick them up from school tomorrow.  HELP!
#8
Dear Socrateaser / Is there such a thing?
Jul 17, 2006, 04:17:58 PM
HI there...

Washington state
Pierce County

1. SO and I are getting married in September.  Both children (b-12, g-11) are suppose to be in our wedding.  There mother is refusing to let them come because it is not our weekend to have them.  We would like them from Friday to Sunday.  Is there any kind of injunction/paper work that we can file to make sure that they are there?

2. When filing a modification of parenting plan, without a lawyer, what forms must be filled out?

Thanks.
#9
Dear Socrateaser / Stop Move Petition - Part 2
Aug 08, 2005, 09:15:34 AM
Hi Soc,
  In WA state and emailed you about putting a stop move on my FI's ex wife.  We wanted to keep her from moving due to the fact that SS didn't want to move into her fiancee's (now husband) house.  He wanted to live with us.
 She went ahead and moved, but never went back to court to file for a petition from the court to allow it.  So my question is,

 1. What do we do now?  Do we file something with our lawyer or directly with the courts?

2.  What will happen to her?  Is there any penlty for doing what she has or because she got married before she moved does that make it ok?

Thanks for your help!
almostastepmom
#10
Dear Socrateaser / Petition to stop a move
Jun 09, 2005, 03:56:43 PM
Soc-
  We filed a petition to stop my SO's ex from moving his two kids into her new boyfriends home.  We did this due to the fact that his son came to us in tears on three occassions stating that he would not move and would become VERY upset when the subject was talked about.  We know she has already started to move their things, even though in her written notice states that she won't move until July 29th, 2005.  
  We haven't heard anything about this from our lawyer and we don't know what to do next... What exactly is the "punishment", if any, if she does move them now?

We are in the state of WA
#11
Dear Socrateaser / Need advice
May 26, 2005, 02:23:12 PM
Soc-

  Need help with our comissioners decision today....

  Story is ex is asking for more money, we wanted more time.  He ruled using last years wages for my husband... He no longer makes that much money.  The amount he is using is going to leave us broke and in the hole each pay day.  He has also over paid her in alimoney by nearly $3,000 and the judge is still making him pay for another year and a half. He also said no to our increase in time with the children.  Her lawyer said we were being retalitory and that is why we filed it.
  What should we do and how do we get someone to realize we won't be able to live a normal life if we have to pay her all this money?

Thanks
#12
Dear Socrateaser / Child's Age
Jan 11, 2005, 01:38:42 PM
Hi there!

Live in WA state and was wondering;

1. Do you know the age in which a judge will listen to the wishes of a child about where and why he wants to live some where?  

2.  Can DH & I ask for a pyshic evaluation on the mother to determain her mental health.  (She is BI-Polar)?

3. Can you explain what "right of refusal" is?

Thanks
#13
Dear Socrateaser / One more question, or two
Jul 08, 2004, 03:46:25 PM
Wa state where all parties live.

situation;  SO has 2 kids and ex is taking him back to court for more money?  He doesn't want to get married yet, because he thinks she can and will come after my income to.  

1.  Is that possable for he's ex to try to come after my income if we get married?

2. How hard is it to go for 50/50 custody after three years of just visitation rights.  Circumstances have change to a very large degree and we want to see the kids more.

Thanks
#14
Dear Socrateaser / Injury clause?
Dec 01, 2003, 02:50:46 PM
My BF was hospitalized for 7 days and then was unable to go back to work for another 5 days.  He read he's divorce decree and it states that if either party is to get injured or hurt so that they can not work, ALL payments (in this case it's both Sep. mait. and CS) should not be payed.  He's ex is saying the he has to pay that money back to her and that he is reading it wrong.  She is threating to take him to court and with hold the kids from him.  He had 3 doctors tell him he was lucky to be alive and that there was no way they would release him back to work until they made positive he was healthy again.  So  even thou it says it in the court approved papers that he doesn't have to, will he be told he has to pay, if this goes to court?
#15
Parenting Issues / What to do with rudeness?
Jan 05, 2004, 02:27:24 PM
I recently posted about my DSO's 8 year old daughter writing in her journal that she hated me.  That was at Thanksgiving time!  The next time we got to see them was the day after Christmas and they were staying with us (mainly me due to DSO work schedule) until 1/4.  
While both kids were at the house, they started to say they watned to go home, our house has to many rules, I'm to mean to them, etc.... All of this I either overheard or was told to me by a very nice 11 year old that cornered the 8 year old for being rude and wanted to know why.  She later came to me and told me what 8 year old said about me.
The thing is our rules are simple rules, not strict or harsh, but rules that I'm sure all of you have at your house and inforce, such as; brushing your teeth, making your bed, picking up your stuff, not jumping on furniture, USING YOUR MANNERS (which is a big one for me), going to bed at a reasonable hour, and things like that.
I don't think they have any rules or chores at their mothers house and have even said so.  They don't have to brush their teeath, that's why their teeth are yellow and have cavities, they don't have to keep their room clean, that's why they loose stuff and stuff gets broken.
I know that BM says stuff about us, especially me infront of them and of course they will not ever say what, but now the 8 year old won't even look at me or answer my questions.  My DSO knows what is going on, has talked to both of them, especially the 8 year old and says that talking with ex is just a waste of breath and nothing will change at her house.  I do agree, but in the mean time, what on earth do I do.  I'm getting no where with her except to the point that I want to bend her over my knee and spank her. UGH!!!!!!!!!! HELP
#16
Parenting Issues / Venting hatred
Dec 01, 2003, 02:40:12 PM
We resently had my BF's 2 children over for the Thanksgiving holiday.  We have had some problems in the past but thought we were over and done with that.  Until this weekend when he's 8 year old daughter sat down on the couch next to me, with her journal and opened it up to the page the said the f word and had the words I HATE (me) in big letters and underlined in it.  I was crushed.  I didn't know what to do or to say to her, so I just put them to bed and called their father.  
I later that night, against my better judgment, read the other 3 pages in it.  It talk about 8 year old stuff and also about how I'm so mean to them and that their daddy deserves better and so do they.  All I do is nit-pick at them and everything is always their fault.  It also said that they are not to trust anything I say or do, because mommy said so.
I guess my question is, what the heck do I do now?  I love these 2 kids like they were my own and I am at my wits end.
#17
Second Families / Wow, what a shock!
Jan 10, 2005, 04:28:49 PM
Hi there!  Thanks to everyone that has been helping me out with the BM part 2 column.   I just had to write to ya all and tell ya about my weekend.  

I picked up the kids on friday, something I told myself I wasn't going to do, but did any ways.  Of course SD was a total brat and just sat in the back of the car and wouldn't say a thing.  SS was talking with me and chatting the whole way home.

When their father got home, SD went right up to him and told him that
she missed him and loved him so much, then looked at me and smurked.  I just laughed!  She did this all weekend!  I was so proud of myself I didn't let her crappy attitude toward me ruin my weekend. And their was an added bonus;  my SS all weekend would run up to me, give me a big hug, and then he would tell me he loved me.  I just would give him the biggest hug and kiss his head and tell him I loved him to.

Then something that their father and I thought would NEVER happen did.  As we drove them home on Sunday night, SS said to us that he didn't want to go home.  He wanted to stay with us.  We told him he will be back next weekend, but he said he wanted to stay with us all the time.  I about fell off my seat.  SO told him that he is always welcome to live with us and that if he did that ment   changing schools and making new friends.  He just said that would be fine, since he knows all the kids in the neighbor hood any ways.  We were in shock.
SD woke up in the middle of the conversation or at least she didn't move until then.  She HOPEFULLY heard everything he said.  

I think my SS had been hearing what SD and BM have been saying about me.  I also think he knows about the mean letter that BM sent to me.  He knows that I'm not like that and he is ALWAYS appreciative about the things I do for him.  

WOW!  I can't wait to see what happens this weekend when their father picks them up.  We don't know if we should approach him with the subject or let him bring it up again.  Does anyone have any suggestions???????????????????????/
#18
Ok, I read and re-read all those post about how to cope with BM and I just laughed and laughed at all of you.  For I am in the same position.

First, please send me one of those dolls.... I do believe in Karma and I know where she is going in the end........ It isn't heven!

Second, I just recieved a letter today about why my SO's daughter has been acting out when she is with us (been together for 4 yrs).  She did not address it to both of us, just him, but I am the one that wrote the letter stating to her that we were having problems with SD- 9 and I signed my name to it.  She stated that I am the problem and if he got rid of the problem she would stop acting out!  

Now, I have been the ONLY person to communicate with her for the past 6 months.  I call to set up pick-up times and drop-off times, I send the kids cards, care packages, I did all the shopping for Christmas and birthdays and any other stinking holiday that comes around and this little girl and her mother are going to tell me that I AM THE PROBLEM!  UGH!  I will tell you that SO is a Police Officer and is working 3 jobs to pay her CS and SM... And he wont talk to her any more because she is now taking him to court for more money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love these kids to death, they are the only kids I will ever have in my life time, because we will not have any when we get married.  I treat them better then good, I love them, and tell them I love them all the time.  And here stands this BM that when those kids are dropped off, tells them that I am a bad person, speaks about us in a poor manner in front of them.  I never do that. Although I did call her rude one time for hanging up on me.  I have requested that we ALL sit down and talk about what is happening with them and she just keeps filling their heads full of bad thoughts and when I'm there she does her little I'm the best mommy in the world act.

So, I am taking someones advice, actually all of your advice and I will not speak to her any more.  This is not my fight!  I am tired of feeling like a horrable person because these two kids have been brain washed to not like me.  I am done!

And I'm not joking about the vodoo doll!  I need it!

#19
Hi there,
   I have some very important information for all the NCP's that live in the Seattle area or for that matter in WA state.  I have posted this in the WA forum as well, but wanted to bring this to everyone's attention so they can help fight this behind great cause.

My husband, who is a NCP, has just joined the fight to help stop a workshop (ran by DSHS) that was established under Christine Gregoires administration.  It was formed to help change the guide lines of child support for non custodial parents.... This is for the worse, not the better.  It will radically change the rediculus guide lines that we have now and make them 100 times worse. Let me give you some examples:

1.Should the support schedule and guidelines consider a parent's children from other relationships? If so, should the Whole Family Formula be the preferred method of dealing with this issue?

2.Whether the noncustodial parent's current child support obligation should be limited to 45% of net income.

3. How a parent's income from overtime or a second job should be considered when calculating the parent's child support obligation.

Please feel free to go to this site and read the rest of their BS that they are working on.
   http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/dcs/Resources/workgroup.asp

These are just a few of the crazy things that they are looking into changing.  There is a fight going on to stop this from happening.  Please also take a minute to go to this website and help stop this from happening.  As I see it, and have through my husbands side, already get the raw deal and I do not want it to get worse...
                            http://toprights.org/Home.asp

Thank you for reading this!
#20
Father's Issues / Where are the father's rights?
Jul 08, 2004, 04:58:36 PM
Some how, some way we ALL, men and women, have to get the courts of the country to see how wrong they are about the child support issues and that all fathers are not dead beet dads.  

I'm so fustrated at the court system right now, I can hardly see.  Things in this country HAVE to change.  I'm a women and I hate to relate myself with most of those self-serving, money hungry (insert bad word) that call themselves mothers.  HOW DARE THEY!

where do we start........... I need help here!  Where do we go....... All I know is that things have to change and soon.