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I think this will be the month we find out if she is really going to go through with it or not. I would be a liar if i said I was not worried about what is going to happen. I have been able to keep her out of my head for a few months and now that I know she will be here in the state all the same nonsense worries are coming back.  Now we just wait.........

Actully he is #3 of 5 kids and right now he is the oldest in the house , so I know he is used to being around smaller kids for sure, I feel its just resentment towards our kids. Because of the situation and how his mother is i try hard to make sure he feels like this could and is his home too, but since we only see him 2x a year summer and christmas i know it is alot of resentment towards the girls that probably makes him act like that. That is something i dont know how to deal with and it is something i will not tolerate. I never want my husband to feel like he is in the middle but its hard to get him to understand and see what is really going on because I know his guilt of not being around plays a big part in him not laying down rules.

i know it sounds terrible and i feel guilty even saying it out loud but my stepson is coming down for the holidays, and even though i know he probably wont be with us the whole time i am dreading it. I am worried about how he will treat our kids because his attitude is changing and the last time he was here this summer he was not very nice to our 6 yr old daughter ( his half sister). It upsets me that she has even told me she doesnt want him to come over becase he is mean, maybe if he was still  a bit younger i could find an excuse for him but his behavior but he is 13 and i think he should know better by now.Plus his attitude has alot to do with his mother and her crummy attitude rubbing off on him and the nonsense she fills his head with. His treatment towards the girls makes me not want him around and i dont want to feel like that or treat him differently and my kids feed off of that. So now i just dont know what to think , I know him not coming is not an option unless his mother decides to be a piece of crap as usual. How do I deal with this issue?

I really appreciate all the help and advice from everyone. thanks guys 

It may sound strange but one thing you should do is go by where they live and take pictures of his living situation so you have proof he is in a bad home. The court will not just hand him over because you want him you need proof. A man I know did this and it helped out so much he actually had a poster board of pictures he had taken of the trashy people coming in and out of his daughters house he even had recordings of conversations he had with the mother. Now he has custody of his daughter. the fact that he failed will actually help you out and take him to the dentist so that you can find out the extent of the damage to his teeth, get as much physical proof as you can.

Should they take in to consideration that he does not get even 1% of the allowed time with the child because they are so far away, how could they even begin to give make up time for all the time lost?

It is a basic order stating that he gets him on the even years so this year we wouldnt get him, but it does say that if he sends her a certified letter 60 days in advance he can still get him if she says ok. Since we are in tx and she is in AZ we couldnt afford to save up for a flight to and from and she wouln't meet him half way either even though it says she is supposed to. If they don't come down on their own then he won't be back until summer time.
Well they are supposed to be there in AZ for the next 5 yrs, in total this will be 5x's that they have moved so far and she is threatening that she is going to close out the case here and reopen it in AZ but we talked to the divorce/ c.s office at the court house and they advised him to ask the court that it stay open here in tx since this is where he works and has never moved from the town it was originally in nor do we have plans on moving. We are hoping that works in our favor.

That has always been a big question for me is why hasen't she bothered to take him back why wait till now? She had told me once before that because he was so young at the time (he had just turned 21 and she was already 26 and she already had 2 other kids she had from a previous marriage and given them to her ex) she was purposly pushing him away because he wasent ready to be a dad. But from what he has told me about it was that she was just a mean hateful woman and he never had any intentions of being with her long term. And sadly I believe him because her and i have had our own runins and she is a hateful woman. She is vulgar and just rude for no reason. I feel like maybe there is something else going on I just dont know what.

@Mixedbag, YES the thought of her seeing our financials and our tax refund bother me a great deal!!!! I don't feel like she has a right to see it.  They were never married so it isnet like they had a life together it just happened. It is one thing for the AG to see it and make a decision but for another person to see it its  totally different. I feel like she agreed to that amount and has had more than enough time and opportunity to make an ammendment to it if she wanted to why wait till now? She has known for the past 6 almost 7 years that he had gotten a different job and there is no way she could have thought that he made the same amount. Her thing is that she is a bully and doesnt want anyone telling her that she is wrong. Her husband is in the military and she likes to move around and not be around any of her family so we were thinking that is one reason she never did it before  so that he wouldnt add to the paperwork for her not to live more than 100 miles away.

We try to get him what ever he needs/ wants when he comes down plus send him cards with 20 or 40 bucks here and there but we know for a fact she is taking that from him too. He told us this summer that she owed him money because she took what we had sent him.He might come down in December not sure yet she hasen't told us anything yet nor will she till its almost time for christmas break. We know that she is most likely having him and his younger brother (from current husband) share some of their things, which isn't a big deal but dont't lie about what is happening to his stuff. We would be more than happy to pay for any extra activities he does but she doesn't tell us about anything he does so we dont know until afterwards.  The court order says nothing of extras just insuranc and c.s. It wouldn't matter anyways she doesnt't follow the order , she makes up the rules as we go along.