Messages

Suprisingly had daughter both day this weekend. Of course having court on Tuesday had an effect on that. Found out child missed friday of school because BM had a tooth pulled. That puts her at 30 days absent. BF is going to the school before court Tuesday to see what is going on.

We live in Illinois. You would think a father is a father. Why should you have to take it to a Judge for a piece of paper state that you are the father and it's already been proven? It's ridiculous.

I do have another question though. When child was conceived, BM was married to someone else.  Her husband had no clue it wasn't his child, and my husband didn't know it was his. When child was born, her husband's name was put on birth certificate. A year later, in a fight, she told him she didnt know about paternity. My husband was summoned, and DNA test showed he is the father. Fast forward almost 7 years, child still has her ex's last name and his name is still on the birth certificate. Anyone know of procedures to get all this changed?

And in the current VO, nothing states about make-up time or for illness.

Child is 7 years old. BM does have sole custody. When we first went to court for visitation, Judge just automatically granted her sole custody, which I guess is normal. On the 2 overnight visits that we have had with her, we have never had a problem out of her for sickness, etc. The only problem WE had, was that at the age of 7 she is sending the child to bed with a sippy cup of milk stating the doctor recommended it. When she stayed here, we didn't offer the cup and child never requested it. It does explain why child had to go to dentist and have all 4 bottom teeth removed. Then we found out she sucked on a pacifier and bottle till she was 6. Not much we can do about it I guess, except have to pay to correct all the damage it caused in the future.

The only reason no overnights is because BM won't let her. She can stay everywhere else though.

BM is still picking and choosing when child can visit. VO states every other weekend from Sat 10 to 7 and Sun 10 to 7. My husband went to pick her up for visitation in Nov and BM refused stating child had been sick and out of school for a week and a half. Unfortunately, an argument ensued. On Monday, my husband and I went to the courthouse to file Rule to Show Cause papers and was told BM had just been there trying to get an OP against my husband. The emergency OP was denied based on no actual threat of harassment, as it was just a family matter. My husband went to the permanent OP hearing 2 weeks later. Judge asked BM why visitation was denied. She stated that EVERY time child comes home from visit, she is sick. (BM has continued to make claims that child has 'blood sugar' problems and needs extra care. We wouldn't have a problem with this except child takes no meds for, doesnt even have her blood tested. BM will not allow him to go to dr with them) Judge stated that he wanted a FULL medical history on this child. We jumped for joy! Judge also asked if BM had contacted him to let him know child was sick and out of school for a week and a half. She replied no that she didnt think it was her responsibility. Judge then asked BM, well wouldnt you like to know if the roles were reversed? She said no,but judge did not believe her. Judge ordered that visitation change to Sat 10 to 9, and Sun 12 to 5:30. We went back to court on Feb 2nd but BM failed to show. Continued to March 6th.  We also received an attendance record from the school after requesting it. Child has missed 29 days so far. Child missed 48 days in Kindergarden and is in her second year of 1st grade due to BM taking her out and 'home schooling'. No proof of home school has ever been shown. Yes, my husband does pay child support and is current.


It just amazes me how some BM's think they are the only parent in a child's life. It just makes me so angry to think that they don't want the fathers anywhere in the child's life. Then they should have thought about this before having children with the BF's. Sorry guys, guess I just needed to rant! There are women out there who feel for what you are going through just trying to be part of your child's life.

I have been going to court since March of this year over my 8 1/2 year old daughter. Paternity was established by the time she was a month old. He has failed within the past 8 years to contact me via phone,email, or a simple knock on the door about seeing his daughter. He was just made to pay child support this last Nov. So for 7 1/2 years, he was duty free. He filed courtpapers over visitation this year. He doesnt show up. His lawyer doesnt even show up. Nothing has been done in 7 months and the attorney fees are killing me.
My husband and I have been together for 8 years. Married for 1. This is my daughters dad. She knows of no other. My next court date is tomorow and he is "suppose" to have an answer to whether or not he will sign over his rights to let my husband adopt her. He will do what he usually does and not reply at all. He works 3  or 4 states away and is only in the area for about 10 days every two months. I really could use some advice for my daughters sake. I am trying everything I can so her world does not get turned upside down over this. Or am I being unreasonable?

If the mother was unsatisfied with the agreement, instead of denying visitation, she should take it to the courts herself. Always looks better to file for a change rather than denying any visitation.

Further note, we did not know at the time that there was such a thing as visitation interference and what steps to take. We are not sure at this point since the order is over 2 years old, if that is even applicable or not.