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Can you direct me to a site (if you dont know off hand) where I can find out if VA is state that gives Grand Parents Rights?

My Dh's mother is very controlling but very damaging to the child, she keeps threatening to go after grand parents rights to see the child.  THANKS!

Background - DH has full custody, BM has reasonable and fair visitation.  A couple of weeks ago BM and her new boyfriend got int a fight and she put in him jail.  Against better judgement we got involved after she called us (kids were with grandparents) and she gave us the money to get him out of jail, saying that she'd made a mistake, after DH went and got him he didn't want to talk to her so she destroyed her house, in my presence.  Threw pictures, dressor drawers, put her foot through her coffee table, etc.

One week goes by they are back together, she puts him in jail again.  The boyfriend comes to stay at our house for a couple of days after she again paid for him to get out.  He told us of her using Cocaine and drinking and out all night, all of things we thought had stopped which is why we agreed to the unsupervised visits to begin with.  

Since then we have not let the boys go to her house for the visitation, we have sent them to her moms and she can go visit them anytime she wants.  Again the court order states:
"Mother shall continue to enjoy her unsupervised visitation. The prior oder of 6/23/05 (granting father full legal and physical custody) shall remain in full force and effect.  The parties shall be fexible and fair in their dealings regarding visitation".

Yesterday we got a summons where she show caused us for violation of a court order.

1.  Are we actually in violation of a court order as it states to use fair and reasonable visitation and we used our best judgement keeping hte boys away from abuse?

2.  Obviously since they are back together again he will probably deny saying all things about her drug use etc, can we still use it?

3.  DH is going to try and go to the court house to file for supervised again for her, is this going to look like retaliation?  

4.  We go to court feb 15 for her now, should we continue to let the boys go to her moms and have her visit them (as our concerns are still the same) or should we let them go back to her and let the case be reopenend?

5.  Anything else would be greatly appreciated.  THANKS!

DH has full custody of his 2 sons.  We just recently allowed BM to be around the kids with out supervision - we did this through the court after a summer of trying it.  So as of Sept 30 she has unsupervised visitation now.  Holidays are not specified.  DH is traveling a lot due to business now so I am the one primarily taking care of the kids.

1.  Since DH is the only one that has custody on paper what does that mean for me when they are with me and he's not in town?

2.  As I am his wife can I make decisions for them when he's out of town and not have problems with the BM?

3.  Should I get him to sign something (dont know what) while he's out of town?  

I'm listed on everything as far as daycare and school goes as the mom.  BM is not listed anywhere.  
THANKS!

Background, DH has full physical and legal custody that we got on Sept 30 2004.  The BM at that time was given supervised visitation only, to be supervised at her mothers house.  Recently the grandmother had some medical problems and it was not suitable for them to be there.  BM had been doing much better so we agree for the summer on a trial basis to try unsupervised visitation.  We took it to the courts and this is what we got:

New visitation court order states: Findings of the court - Joint Motion of parents to relax supervised visitation penind court review of mother on 9-7-05.

It is ordered that visitation for (BM) with both her children shall be liberal and reasonable and without supervision by the current supervising party (maternal grandmother).  These visits and the terms shall be worked out by the agreement of the parties.  (Grandma) shall no longer be a supervising party.  This case is continued to 9-7-05.

1.  Since there are no specific weekends mentioned and she is starting her old tricks again (dragging the boys around by their arms, cursing at them in public) then we do not have to let them go this weekend correct?

2.  Since this was a trial basis and the judge cont'd it to Sept when we go in Sept we can let them know that we tried but bc of X, Y, Z it didn't work right? Therefor probably going back to supervised again?

3.  What if she tries to file a show cause, althoguh I dont know what for since it's not specifically listed there for we aren't against court order, BUT if she does it would most likely be dismissed when we went right?

Thanks!!

We got exactly what we were looking for.  Thanks to your words the court order is worded exactly they way we wanted.  My DH has sole physical and legal custody and the mother had supervising visitation, we were agreeing to her no longer having supervised but wanted to make sure we didnt give her to much.  We rec'd the new order yesterday:

ok it says this:
 
Findings of the court : Joint motion of parents to relax supervised visitation pending court review of mother on 9-7-05
 
It is ordered that : Visitation for (MOTHER) with both her children shall be liberal and reasonable and with out supervision by the current supervising party (maternal grandmother).  These visits and terms shall be worked out by the agreement of the parties.  (Mathernal Grandmother) shall no longer be a supervising party.  
 
Case continued to 9-7-05

1.  So if I'm reading this correctly it still leaves all decisions to my DH and she no longer has just every other weekend, it's when we (DH and the BM) decide, right?

THANKS AGAIN SOC!
 

I have gone to the law library and I believe gotten the proper paper work for the Bill of Compliant I need to help my friend file for divorce.  We're in Va, however could I email it to you to look over before she takes it up to the court house to have it served on her husband?

Thanks!

You've always been so great with custody, could you offer some advice on getting a divorce or direct me to where I can get the info.

Married on Dec 30 2003 - separated on March 20 2004 - no kids involved so the separation time only needed to be 6 months.  My friends husband won't sign the papers to make this easy.

1.  What does my friend need to do in order to get her divorce, she's been living in her own apt since March 20 2004.  

2.  What paper work can she file to get he divorce proceedings starting with out a lawyer, she doesn't have the money.

THANKS!!

Dh has full physical and legal custody, with (exact words here) "Mother to have visitation ever other weekend supervised at maternal grandmothers home".  

BM has been really making an attempt to get her life together.  We went back to court a couple of months ago bc she had petitioned for unsupervised visits.  She herself dropped the case bc she couldn't afford an attorney and she didn't have a job, she had just moved back to where we live.  However since then, she still doesn't have a job but is making a attempt to see the boys ever opportunity she can, she's been to games and practices whenever DH and I are there (so it's still supervised).

We understand that it takes time to chance, however she is their mother and as long as she's making the right decisions we dont have a problem with her seeing the boys.  

1.  Since it's stated in the court order that it has to be supervised, if we allow her to take them to McDonalds or the park for an hour or so to give her some one on one time, can we get in trouble for this?

2.  We dont want to do an amendment just yet bc we want to make sure it's going to last, she has a pattern of being good for a little while and then resorting back.  Is there anything we can do to keep it out of court but do a trial basis?  Considering getting into court would be a couple of months anyway.

3.  Any other advice?

THANKS!

On a separate case.  

My friend has joint custody of his son with ex.  the court order states the father (my friend) has visitation "every tues and thurs from 6:00 pm to 9:00 am the next morning".

Last night bc he's moved in with someone else (that he's been with for 3 years) she refused to let the child go.  Well she let him go, then went to his moms before my friend got off work and picked him up when she heard that he and his girlfriend were living together now.

1.  What can we do, can we file contempt of a court order since she refused to let him go when my friend called her later?

2.  What would be the best course of action for us since she's refusing tomorrows visitation as well since he's living with his girlfriend?

My DH and I have physical and legal custody of my 2 step sons.  The BM has supervised visitation at her mothers house.  The BM comes and goes most of the time not seeing the boys on her weekends.  

1.  She's constantly bringing new boyfriends around the boys when she does come in town, is there any way we can make it so there's not a continual parade of different men?

2.  The house (which the GAL never visited) in which her mother lives and the BM visits to see the boys has dog poop everywhere and the boys dont have their own bed, they sleep in recliners, can we move the supervised visitation to a more suitable location?

3.  BM has taken us back to court several times to get her unsupervised visits, everytime pissing the judge off!  Can't we avoid going to court every other month when her circumstances that got the custody and visitation taken away in the first place haven't changed?

4.  She has not job but we are going for child support, I know through DCSE the state minimum is $65 per month, but is this for both children or is it per child?

thanks!

Background - My husband and I recently (Sept 30) got full physical and legal custody of my 2 step sons.   Now to clarify the CO states "the father is to have sole legal and physical custody", so it does not mention me. We declared the BM unfit and the judge recommended supervised visitation for her with her mother.  Her mother had custody of the children before us.  These boys have been switched around from family to family to the point where the courts are tired of seeing us.

My husband and I got married on June 26th before the custody hearing.  He husband has now left me and the kids (the kids are still with me) and not been home since Thursday, nor has he talked to the kids.  I've since found out he's been staying at BM's house, I guess with the hopes to get back together.

1.  How long do you have to walk away before you can get someone for abandonment?

2.  Since the GAL and the judge declared BM unfit, won't it be bad for my DH if he's trying to get back wiht her and take the kids around her?

3.  What are the chances for me to get custody of these kids, I can prove that I'm the one that takes care of them and that I have full custody of my daughter.  I know you dont like working with "chances" but has it been done before?

4.  What is the next move?  

You helped us get full legal and physical custody of my 2 step sons. Ok now there's becoming an issue.  BM has supervised visitation ONLY with her mother.  BM called yesterday and has told us she's moved to Maryland, ok with us but that she's coming in town to go to court (unrelated) on Thurs and wants to see the kids.  

1.  If we let her see them at our house thats still going against CO right?  So we could get into trouble?

2.  OSS has a skate night on Thurs night and she' talking about going up there, this again is breaking CO right?

3.  Courts ordered her to pay CS to her mother while her mother had custody, nwo that we have custody does the CS come to us or do we all need to go back to court for CS?
thanks!

Soc I just want to say thank you for all your advise and time!  

We had court yesterday and we were asking for physical custody of my 2 step sons from the grandma and thanks to your continued advice we got full physical and legal custody!!!  

Oh and BM only gets supervised visitation!!

AGAIN THANK YOU!! Your time on this board has been a blessing!

Facts:
Maternal Grandma has physical custody of my to step sons.  BM and my DH have joint custody.  Grandma has had physical custody for about a year when BM gave it to her and DH was out of the country and wasn't in a position to have full custody.  He has been fighting for the last 9 months to get physical custody.

The GAL came and did a home study of myself and DH and has told us that she is going to recommend we get physical custody.  Grandma isn't fighting us, and was very clear with the GAL about that, but she doesn't want her family to be against her so she is letting the courts give them to us, persay.  

1.  If we get physical custody tomorrow can grandma ask for visitation?  Right now DH and BM get visitation.

2.  Whats the difference between us having physical with BM and DH having joint and us just having complete full custody?

3.  Anything else you can help me out with court tomorrow??

THANKS!

DH and I are fighting for physical custody of OSS (5) and YSS (3 1/2).  We are in VA and the current custody order states BM and DH have joint custody and grandma has physical custody.  

The GAL did a home study on this week and was very clear on her intentions and recommendations, that she was going to recommend to the judge that we get full custody.  And that BM get supervised visits only.  She saw how BM had coached the boys on what to say and again was very clear on what she was going to say to the judge.

Last night we found out more about BM that BM just this week let YSS sleep in the bed with her and her new boyfriend of a month.  And that she again coached OSS not to tell us.  YSS also informed us he was in a bar Wed night watching his papa sing and played some games (this is a very very low class place).  I have called and left the GAL a message with all this.

1.  Is there anything else I can do besides tell the GAL.

2.  Is it unlikely for a judge to go against a GAL's recommendations (I know you don't like to speculate, but I'm asking majority of cases.)

3.  Since we filed for an amendment to a current order for physical custody and not full legal custody but now new information has come to light and the GAL thinks that BM is unfit to have them unsupervised is there anyway to amend the petion we filed without getting another court date?
thanks!

I'm going to type word for word what our court order says, I need to make sure I'm understanding this correctly:

"ORDERED that the Plaintiff (DH) shall pay to (X) the sum of $250.00 per month child support, which will include his costs for hospital insurance and any other direct payments to third parties for the benefit of the children."

My DH has paid $250 a month to "X" but has also paid $217 a month for mesical insurance.  Due to my OSS's accident my DH was out of work at the hospital and therefor was late on his child support.  "X" show caused him for child support.

1.  Since the court order says "which will include" for the medical insurance doesn't that mean he's not late, matter of fact, he's paid more than what is ordered by the courts?

2.  how do we get out of the show cause or do we still have to go to court?
thanks for all your help!!

Facts:
We live in VA and my husband has joint legal custody of his 2 sons with his exwife.  However the maternal grandmother has physical custody (which we are currently fighting for).  Both my husband and the BM are ordered to pay support to the grandmother.  The court order states that my DH is responsible for 64% of all extraordinary medical expenses and the BM is responsible for 33% of all extraordinary medical expenses.  

OSS was involved in a go cart accident with the maternal great grand-father at the great grandfathers house.  He may also face charges on neglect and Contribuiting to the delinquency of a minor (since he was drunk).  It was the BM's scheduled visitation and she was there when the accident happen.  

Questions:

1.  I know it says we are responsible for the medical bills, however since it was on BM's visitation is there any way we can get her to claim responsiblity of this, other than doing a civil suite against her?

2.  Since it was at the BM/great grand dads house could we sue his homeowners insurance?

3.  We have apts with the guardian et litums before the grand dad goes to trial for his case, since we don't know the out come of what will happen (getting charged) how do we get that into consideration as to the well being of the boys?

Soc, I wrote this to you last time:
"Background: BM decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore so she would give my soon to be step kids up. However she would not give them up to us, she would give HER custody up to her mom. On the advice of our attorney we let this happen bc he said it was easier to get custody from a 3rd party in lieu of the bio mom. Well this was about 5 months ago. In that time she has only seen the kids a few times and does not stay involved. We are discovering problems with the younger child and starting to getting him evaluated for learning and behavioral disabilites.

Before she signed them over (which took about 4 months to actually get done) we had abuse charges on her boyfriend. Social services found the charges to be founded however the judge dropped them. She has now married the man, there is currently a court order preventing him from being around the children. My problem is she is talking about trying to get them back. The papers are drawn up that BM as joint custody with my finance, while physical custody with the grandma."

You basically told me we were screwed and that there was no significant change to go for custody that the grandma would stand a pretty good chance of keeping the kids.  I trust your advice, you've always been right before.......so.......

1.  Do we have to go in fron of a judge if we can get all parties to agree on something?

2.  BM, Grandma both agree the kids should be with DH and I, can't we just get a lawyer to draw up the paperwork and be done with it?

3.  IF we went in front of a judge, does it matter we are not married, we have a weding date set Sept 25 but from what I have heard the judge is not going to let the children live with a couple that isn't yet married.

4. Anything else you can help with, we want these children and BM and grandma don't anymore.  

THANKS you're the best!

Soc you have helped me out a few times with custody and I thank you!

Background: BM decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore so she would give my soon to be step kids up. However she would not give them up to us, she would give HER custody up to her mom. On the advice of our attorney we let this happen bc he said it was easier to get custody from a 3rd party in lieu of the bio mom. Well this was about 5 months ago. In that time she has only seen the kids a few times and does not stay involved. We are discovering problems with the younger child and starting to getting him evaluated for learning and behavioral disabilites.

Before she signed them over (which took about 4 months to actually get done) we had abuse charges on her boyfriend. Social services found the charges to be founded however the judge dropped them. She has now married the man, there is currently a court order preventing him from being around the children. My problem is she is talking about trying to get them back. The papers are drawn up that BM as joint custody with my finance, while physical custody with the grandma.

1. It is now in our favor that she has married the man who has abuse charges on him for the children, correct?  She is talking of getting the marriage annulled, does this affect us, can this show her instability?

2. We do not want her to get these children back full time, how can we prevent this?  We filed for an amendment to a current order petition, anything else?

3. What chances does the grandma have for keeping physical custody?

4. Since the papers are drawn up that the mom still has joint legal custody, who has say so, the BM or the grandma?

Soc you have helped me out a few times with custody and I thank you!

Background: BM decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore so she would give my soon to be step kids up. However she would not give them up to us, she would give HER custody up to her mom. On the advice of our att. we let this happen bc he said it was easier to get custody from a 3rd party in lieu of the bio mom. Well this was about 3 months ago. In that time she has only seen the kids a few times and does not stay involved. We are discovering problems with the younger child and starting to getting him evaluated for learning and behavioral disabilites.

Before she signed them over (which took about 4 months to actually get done) we had abuse charges on her boyfriend. Social services found the charges to be founded however the judge dropped them. She has now married the man, there is currently a court order preventing him from being around the children. My problem is she is talking about trying to get them back. The papers are drawn up that BM as joint custody with my finance, while physical custody with the grandma.

1. It is now in our favor that she has married the man who has abuse charges on him for the children, correct?

2. We do not want her to get these children back full time, how can we prevent this?

3. Should we file for immediate custody?

4. What chances does the grandma have for keeping physical custody?

5. Since the papers are drawn up that the mom still has joint legal custody, who has say so, the BM or the grandma?

Soc you have helped me out a few times with custody and I thank you!

Background:  BM decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore so she would give my soon to be step kids up.  However she would not give them up to us, she would give HER custody up to her mom.  On the advice of our att. we let this happen bc he said it was easier to get custody from a 3rd party in lieu of the bio mom.  Well this was about 3 months ago. In that time she has only seen the kids a few times and does not stay involved.  We are discovering problems with the younger child and starting to getting him evaluated for learning and behavioral disabilites.  

Before she signed them over (which took about 4 months to actually get done) we had abuse charges on her boyfriend.  Social services found the charges to be founded however the judge dropped them.  She has now married the man, there is currently a court order preventing him from being around the children.  My problem is she is talking about trying to get them back.  The papers are drawn up that BM as joint custody with my finance, while physical custody with the grandma.

1.  It is now in our favor that she has married the man who has abuse charges on him for the children, correct?

2.  We do not want her to get these children back full time, how can we prevent this?

3.  Should we file for immediate custody?

4.  What chances does the grandma have for keeping physical custody?  

5.  Since the papers are drawn up that the mom still has joint legal custody, who has say so, the BM or the grandma?