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I live in Ohio

I had my son at a neurologist for an intial diagnose and then from there, I went to a genetics counseler who referred me to a developmental pediatrician. The last wo are at teh same hospital that comes greatly accredited. I have my son in therapy for over 2 years and had alwasy taken him to any doctor appointment required or needed.  The mother is not fully invovled and only takes him in the summer when our vistation schedule changes. She never asked to take him to a doctor nor has she even called to get any information from any on person involved except one time when it was 2 days before court. (you can figure that one out!)

How this happened was through my son's school. The teacher suggested this agency because of the services that they may be able to help me find that the school could not provide. I only agreed because at the time our custody trial was just beginning and I guess I was trying to do good and make sure my son got what he may need.  I feared a conflict of interest though, because my ex use to work for this agency and now works for another.

Rather than go over this agian, the Social Worker fired was pushy and demanding that I get services for my son through their agency. I kept declining as well as asking too many questions that only made teh SW more testy towards me. She defiantely has a way of making me feel guilty if I do not listen. I pretty much refused completely based on what I researched and learend about services they provided. This upset her. Although my son gets Medicaid as a suppliment to help with the cost of therapies that his primary insurance will not cover, I was never required to have a SW be appointed.

My ex, joined the bandwagon and wanted to go along with the Social Worker for obvious reasons that two people of "power" are better than one. It got nasty when the Social Worker came to my home for a visit and preceded to admonish me on how I act towards my ex because she read the letters I sent to her trying to communicate our son's issues. (BTW-that was the only way to communicate to my ex, she to this day still does not talk) I never called her names or swore but the SW deceided that I was condensending and arrogant. She preceded to tell me that if I took this to court that teh judge would look at the letters and I would lose period. Apparetly this SW also read all the court documents and GAL reprot as well as teh Pscy Eval from what I am gathering.

Then at school in front of a teacher and teacher's aide, she again got into an argument with me over my stubbroness. She actually have the nerve to tell me that my ex has the same decision making right as I in our state because we have shared-paernting yet it is stated that I hvae those rights. I mean it goes on and on. Bottom line was that I wanted my ex to discuss any decisions or requiest she may have with the services the SW wanted to do before agreeig and becasue she would not speak to me, I made the decision tomove forward.

I should have follow my gut instinct by not havign an agency invovled becasue I knew there would be trouble. Problem is that this SW and teh agency supervisor are on the bandwagon to have her reinstated for services and make teh mother have the decison making rights over our son.

I guess your right I should not worry only because my son has excelled greatly from the efort I did to get him what he needed for development. I was very instrumental as teh mother was not involved. She can tell the judge she was never asked or shut out, but I belevie in any sense a loving parent would get involved regardless for their child. (our psych evals showed the mother to not want rights or responsibilites of rasing our son but yet the GAL ignored it)

I could see being scared if my son was doing terrible or not developing at a normal rate or progressive rate, but he has come way more than a 360 degree turnaround.  And actually, since the SW has not been around, things are better! BTW, I do have letters qand documentation proving my decisons were benefical to the well being of my son.

Any input you may have is greatly appreciated! And Thanks!

The Social Worker I hired for servics for my son was dismissed through a letter from my attorney due to unprofessional conduct. The letter from my attorney never stated that her agency was to close my son's case but to call and have a discussion with my attormey and I to appoint a new Social Worker. The agency chose to closed my son's case based on another agency's invovlement with the state and government on a law suit that forced then to close down. I beleive the agency my son was involved with got scared and decieded  to leave it alone.

The mother came foward with this Social Worker, who now is pissed off at me, and the agency have claimed that I have taken away "needful" services" for my son in the form of a developmental perdiatrican who I was never made aware of this person name.

Now, my son has been to doctors and has a appointment for a developmental pediatrican but it took months to get on due to the waiting list. I dealt with a well know facility that deals in developmental disorders and felt that this Social Worker's suggestions were scary to cause concern. The agencies providers for medical care are no where near the caliber that these doctors my son has seen.

I have documentation as to my son's disgonose and treaments. It is just that they feel they need to make the medical decisions based on this Social Worker and the personal problem her and I have. In the beginning she was supportive of me but after our first custody trial she became very strong and demanding towards the mother. Sheplayed boths sides and then chose.

I have filed a motion to change our parenting plan due to its ambiguious terms and to detail exaclty what rights we both have. The shared-parenting is a complete failure. Then you have the father (he is a doctor as well) who refuses to "see" things as they are so he does what he wants as his daughter.

Even the school is caught in the middle because the mother and "daddy" have worked they little games.

So, I do not know was true basis for the change in circumstance they really have. The information on the motion filedby her attorney has her background of education and credits for being a Social Worker. She provided certificates of classes that are required by her job to take and a letter from the Social Worker's agency stating my son needs thier services due to his disabilities. The funny think is that my attorney says that all the stuff the her attorney presented in the motion is about her and nothing related to working with her son personally. It may hurt her than help her as my attorney out it.

My ex's father is very well off. He has been inovled in all aspects of our custody trial through money and control when I personally ask him to stay out of his daughter and mines business. I never threatened him or did anything but be a gentleman. Afterall this is my son's grandfather. But, he has become such a control freak and with his money, I see nothing but problems ahead.

He bought his daughter a car, home and pays her child support to me. He supports her as well even though she has a good job. His involvement with our child is in a controlled environment of the mother's house because the mother cannot control our child at all in any socila situation. Our child has developmental disorders that are not extreme but requires constant routine and discipline for my son's benefit. The mother understands this but chooses to do whatever she wants for the fact that she is receiveing money to "look" good when the situation calls for it.

10 months go by after our custody trial and now my ex has filed a motion on her's fathers behalf and of course his money to change our shared-parenting plan to make her have all decisions making power based on not having control rather than me the residential parent. There are Social Workers invovled, including the mother herself that were fired by me for unprofessional conduct regarding my son. I do have proof, so that I am not to worried about. She has not been actively involved in her son's progress or therapy's at all except 4 weeks in the summerwhen our visitation schedule changed. She had no chocie to take him to his therapy's. Even then she tried to get that changed because it was not convienien for her.


The main problem is her "daddy" He control his daughers actions and doins by using money as a means. If there was no money involved I would of had full custondy of my child with no court involved. She was more than willing to give our son to me but her "daddy" offered to pay her to get custody. He has sice isolated his daughter and his son to the point of "hiding" the behavior problems I and the whole family are aware of regarding my son has with the mother. My son's uncle, ex's brother has related on many occassions how my son acts with his mother and how she will not correct him or do anythng to control him. He even went to his father to express his concern but got shut out. Now, this may not seem bad for most parents as it does happen, but given my son's condition and his future, this type of behavior could be detremental to him and those around him. The grandfather is embarrassed so he hides the fact that if I do not know this "beahvior" is occuring with the mother then nothing will be done and he can "buy" his daughter's motherlyness and present her in a higher light than the truth. The grandfather has gone as far as to leave my ex's brother's wife out of the picture for everything. He at this present time  is working on getting them divorced because the aunt was instrumental for my son by protecting him with all that was going on. My son's aunt and grandmother and uncle came forward to testify if needed to protect my child but now, the grandfather has "bought" his son and scared him with future monies. So, you can imagine what story he would tell now. But the aunt cannot say anything because she has been banned from the family but still is married. I know screwed up beyond belief.

Bottom line, I know this is a mental issue regarding my child and I have no idea as to what it could be called. I do not think PAS is the right term since he is only 4 1/2 but these actions by the grandfather and the mother and now the brother who is being bribed to keep quiet will endanger my son's future. I don't exactly expect the brother to do the right thing but i would expect at least the granfather to be a man and realize the serverity of his actions on his grnadson and what could happen.

What if anyting could I do to possible help my son. The Attorney understands but it sems he who has the money gets what he wants no matter what. I need help in being the smart one without the money!

This will be long here but I hope those taht read it understand.

My ex filed a motion last fall for medical decision making rights over me the custodial parent. I requested a GAL through my attorney and the judge orderd a new GAL rather than the orignal one familiar with our case due to his ability to get nothing solved. (go figure) Since these past 7 months my ex and I and awaiting an orderd mediation and a 3rd pre-trial due to the fact that the GAL reccomended that my ex not be given any decision making rights. I quote his line as "it would be a recipe for disator"

In the pre-trial my ex was furious with the GAL findings and report. 16 pages long. This GAL even looked into our sons' condition which he is a special needs child at this time in his life and require much help and services. My ex whi is a social worker has felt very different towards my decisions for our son but she never has communicated to me or with me to express her thoughts. The only time I know anything is when her rich father gives her the money to take me court.

Now to add to this mess our court orders state that in the summers months we are to go a one-week on/one week off visitation until school starts. Our order was shared parenting but we do not have a "true" shared cusotdy. It is just words. In reality I have physical custody but a shared legal to an extend outlined in our parenting plan. During this period our son exhibits behavior problems which can be see as normal on most children but not special needs. The adjustment going back and forth usually take 3 to 4 days for him to settle down and by then it is back over again. To add to this, my ex does not communicate with me on any level unless she is looking to get "something". I have been told by school and therapist involved with my son that there is no consistancy in the homes and there needs to be for our son to mature. My ex's refuses or seems to refuse to do anything positive to rectify this.

Our son was caught at day care with a lighter a few weeks ago and has been showing behavior signs of sexual conotations. By that I me he has gone up to strangers all women and grabbed their breast or squeeze them. Now mind you this is a 5 year old!!! My son has also been touching himself on his chest in the same area as a women and doing things an adult would do in a certain situation. No mind you, I do disipline him and correct him but this behavior has scared me beyond belife!! The ways he does it, and not all the time, proves to me that he is "seeing" it somewhere. My boy is very smart and picks things up fast.
I beleive my ex may be doing things innappropriate around him with other men that my son is doing. Unfortuneately, I cannot get solid proof.

And to add to this even further, my ex has been painting his toenails on occasion and sending him home to me or school a few times. I have not appraoch her on these subjects as I wish to discuss this in front of the mediator. These are just a small amount of things that have been going on at my ex's house or when she has our son. My ex can be very angry and shouting when she does not get her way or when she is confronted. She has on occassion used her postion as a social worker to gain levearge in any situation. Misue of power as I see it.

So yesterday the day-care calls and informs me my ex filed a complaint against her for "favortism over another parent" due to her interview with the GAL and what she stated and the lighter incident in whcih the day care gave it to me. I personally asked for the lighter when I was told. My ex was told the same day our son brought it from her house but never asked for it back nor seemed concern by the day care's account. It was only when a week later that my ex asked for it and was told I have it. It seems my ex felt the day care should have given her the lighter ut the day care said seh never seemed interested until a week later as in if it was something important. My ex does not smoke but she has been dating men and one in particular is an ex who smokes but not ciggarettes. But agin, I can't prove this but only by a co-worker of this guy who witness hims doing drugs. A lot of hear-say thought.

The day care was only doing her job to reprot what happened. My ex never talks to this lady nor even asked how her son is doing day in and day out. I pay the day-care, I fill out the forms and I the majority of the parenting and I am the residential parent. I specifically told the day care that any incident be it when I bring our son or my ex that I want to know regardless and the mother can be told as well. It seems my ex is furious one with the GAL, two the day care for telling me and giving me the lighter and three, I have the lighter that obviously is someone who wants it back bad enough to file a complaint rather than be concerned about her child having it in the first place.

Now, my questions is this. The day care did talk to the supervisor of job and family services that overseas the day care. They assured her that nothing much could be doen because the complaint has no warrant. i feel in fact it may come back to hurt her in court due to the lighter. I feel my ex may be trying to sabotage things so that I cannot take our son there only to be "put-out" and have no means for day care. I also feel see is trying to discredit the GAL for bias opinion based on the chain of events to fight her motion in court.

How hard is it to go against a GAL in a case when 4 professional and a day-care were interviewed and 100% of them had agreed on his findings and question regarding my ex and I? The professionals were teachers, doctors and theapists. No family memebers were interview.
Also, my attorney says it is very, very difficult to go against the GAL recommendations. Does my ex seem to have a change or is she just spinning her wheels to get attention?

I say this beause a memebr of her family is saying that her rich daddy is getting tired of the money spending and is looking at another court case with her other child (not mine). He is trying to locate the father after 14 years and my ex will not give him the true name because she does not want the money to stop.

I was just informed today by my son's grandmother (ex's mother) that I should look into getting my child drug tested due to another family member comming forward with information regarding this past Holiday Season.

It was on Christmas day that this "fa,ily" member observed my son being very unnormal to the point of being a "zombie" It was heard through thin walls at this place that my son was given cough syrup with Codine in it. Once this was being said the conversation quickly stopped as it not to continue to others listening in.

Further, my son's mother who is alleged to have given him this medicine, did not inform me nor did she go to his doctor as I found out. My son was coughing but I have prescription medicine for him that I would have been happy to give tho his mother had she asked.

It is also stated in our parenting plan that I am the one to make non-emergecny medical decisions. It is was an emergency the parent who has custody at the time is to inform the other parent. I did not see that my son's cough was an emermgency.

Now, given her father is a doctor but not a peditrician, he has on occassions written prescritptions for his daughter illegally. They were not for drugs but cosmetic medicines. It is possible for him to write a script for my son in his mother's name and then thus hiding the fact.

I want to get my son tested but, blood testing will not show anything since the Codine if present would be gone by now, but in the hair folicale it wouls show traces.

Even if he was sick, I should have been informed, but it was the grandmother and the other family memeber that were very concerned with his behavior and felt that the cough syrup was used more to control the child than to actually help his cough.

Is this considered anything significant since there could be a lot of holes in this? We go to court next monday for medical decision making rights and my ex and her fahter want control to medicate my child for his behavior. I would like some suggestions as to what I can do as I am crushed to think he would be on a powerful drug...

Thanks,

Sad part about my situation is the mother is a SW and has a 14 year daughter through another relationship that there is no father at all in the picture by her doing and her fathers most likley.

I been working on getting letters and evaluations regarding my invovlement with my son and his progress. At least I know I have been invovled to feel good that my son is doing better all the time but in front of a judge you just do not know.

I fear this will not be the first time we go back or the last. As long as her father wants the control for his daughter, I will always be fighting for him.

The courts truly need to look into cases more closely before they just pass judgement just becasue it is the "norm". I bet a good percentage of custody rulings have turned out terrible for the child or children involved. Especially when a child has disabilities.

Good luck to you too!

My ex and I have a shared parenting through the courts that is about 10 months old. I am the residential parent with non-emergency medical decision making rights. Our son doe snot live with his mother but with me and has visitation with the mother through the regualr schedule by the courts.

Our son has delayed developmental problems that were discovered in the beginning of our custody trial. During the custody battle, I was instrumental in getting  him diagnosed and into therapies to help him progress. At about the same time, I one the advice of his school teacher has a local agency that helps with outside services the school may not be able to provide for our son. This SW became involved with my son through-out the trial. She made recommendationas to me, but I felt pressued and scared and did not take her advice (good thing too!)

The mother had little involvement with this SW due to conflicts of 2 women and one man. (Not being funny either) My son's mother is also a SW who used to work for this particular agency as well.

After our trial and the SW found out we had a shared-parenting plan, she began to become more agressive and personal in regards to my son and the mother. The matter came to a head when the mother requested our son she a certain doctor which I did not approve before hand now did the mother ever discuss this with me. Once I told the SW that I had the right to make the medical decision the SW blew up at me and began to critize me. All in front of my son's teacher who sort of heard some things, then later had teh SW in her face making remarks.
Since that incident, my attorney and I had her removed from offering services for my son. But the agency closed my son file out of fear of a law suit and never contacted us to discuss the issues.

Now comes my ex who files a motion to change the medical decison making to be her exclusive rights based on the SW information and the agency information saying that my sone is in dire need of developmental pedicatrician. My ex's is using her job as a platform to "bragg" up and this agency to fight her postion.

My attorney feels this is wrong based on the fact that the case is centered around the "mother" with nothing showing so far that she was involved with our son making decisions. My attorney also feels we can use the orignal Pscy Eval against her based on the facts of that eval which is in my favor.

I am just still ocncerend because all I have ever doen was provide every medical means to my son to help with his delays. He has progessed tremdously both physically and mentally. The bottom line is her drive being fueld by her father's money and control that they do nto have. My son will be taken away and sent to a possible institiution just becasue they have the money to do it. My son is now where near that delayed to have that happen. In fact he is very intelligent and loving. His mother cannont control his behavior becasue she does not want to deal with it in public but uses it as a measn to say her son is in need of more professional help. The SW as well feels this way. They are teh only two besides her fahter that see this child in a different light.

Bottom line is that it comes down to my ex's problem with control. Her fahter is a control freak as well as she is and they will not stop until I am bankrupt or give in becasue of no fight left. My nerves are shot and I fear they will use every little thing. The judges in my area could care less. The gal who was the mediator as well in our case refuse to see us anymore because my ex and I cannot resolve our issues in his office. She twice got up and left complainning she had to go to work. SHe refuse to communicate regardless. And to top things off, my son's teacher is on administrative leave for abuse allegation agaisnt my son. I have tried to talk to my son's mother over this matter and she has not interest other than going to court. I feel she does not ever care that the
teacher did somthing. As my attorney puts it, he beleives it is all about "her" and nothing regarding our son.

Sorry for so long, but this is just ridiculous!

Been awhile since I posted but I have a question regarding my ex, social worker, and I with our son. This may be long so bear with me. I contacted a social worker for my son through is school due to his developmental problems. It was for assitance in services and anything else for his well being. At the time I opened a case, I had temp custody and the mother had visitations. Because my son has an autistic spectrum disorder the SW right away wanted to have a psychological evaulation done to see about suggesting medication. I opposed this and refused any invovlement due to the previous doctor's recommendation that he felt medication was not necessary. All was quiet and after a hellasih cusotdy battle, the GAL and those invovled gave us shared-parenting with me being the residential/custodial parent. This evening the SW came over to give me papers to sign. One of the papers was a request was by my ex to have my son psychologically evaulated. The SW told me the mother now has the right to do this since we have "joint-cusotdy" but she needs to check with her supervisor just to be sure since I was the one who origanlly opened the file.

First and foremost our parenting plan states "The parent who has physical custody of the child shall be responsible for making non-emergency medical decisions regarding the child" Does this mean she has the right to request this evaluation when she has my son? Her visitations are only one day a week, EOW, and every other Monday. Or, since I have primary custody and physical custody is it my right to make the deceison?

I am only challenging this because my ex has the intentions of medicated my son, not for good purposes but becasue she cannot handle him when he is with her at times. The SW involved beleives a second opinion is fine and would not hurt. This is the same person that requested it in the beginning and I refused after finding out about medicating.  My belief is that if I protest, even siting witnessess and documentation of his therapy and development without medication that she will use it all agaisnt me as neglect of the child. She has been hell bent since she walkd out with out her son since and losing her fight for custody.

Truly I have been told all around that if my son can fucntion without meds than that is the best way. And he does well with me but no good with his mom becasue she does not involved herself with his therapy or time. What can I do to fight for my son's rights. I do not want a zombie for a son because the mother say so. BTW the mother is also a SW which does not help me at all.

Well the trial was Monday and eventhough my ee's attorney requested no witnesess for some strange reason, the judge could not deceide on custody.

Both our attorneys went into the chambers before the trial began and I could hear them talk to the judge in regards to what my ex and I wanted. The GAL was also there to give his recommendation of shared-parenting with me being the custodial parent. Both attorneys said we agree with the GAL but I had a few minor changes that could be argued as well as CS.

All this took less than an hour in court. My main concern was a summer break schedule that was too much back and forth for my son at his age. I had proof from the therapist as well as school to show that a change in his routine would not be positive. The judge questioned my attorney and ask for who these people where but my idiot attorney never ask for the information, guess he figured words were better then say a letter. So, he handed a psychological report to the judge who in my amazement said that he had not seen that report. The psychological evaluation report was done 3 months ago!!! After he skimmed over it he began to question the GAL's recommendation of shared parenting plan. 3 times he asked the GAL about his opinion and why he thought it would work.

You see the psychological report stated that a shared-parenting plan would not be feasible and it was pretty damaging towards the mother. My guess is that the judge seen that and had questions as to why the GAL believes in a shared-parenting. So, he puts the GAl on the line by asking him if he would "bet" that his recommendations would be in the best interest. My guess is that the judge knew sooner or later with that plan that me and my ex would be back in court fighting. In fact he commented that he wanted it to be sure it would work because he did not want to see us in court one week from signing the order for contempt. The judge then asked my ex's attorney and my attorney if thye would bet on the shared-parenting plan to work. Both answered "NO" So I think the judge is very skeptical and that is why he commented that he needs to review before making a deceison.

The odd thing about all this is that it is reveresed. The court is for women more so than men and I beleive that I am the exception since I have had custody of my son through this whole ordeal. The mother has not shown interest in her child and worse she refuse to communicate with me on any grounds. The judge did note that this was evident, including me as well. So now I wait to see what his deceison will be.

Well it is finally here. After nearly a year of pre-trials and evaulations and continunances my custody trial is Monday. This week has been eventful if not confusing....

On Monday the attorney calls to let me know he received the witness list from my ex's attorney. We then make an appoiment to go over the list as well as construct our list of witnesess. At this point my ex walked out of the GAL office in our last ditch effort to settle out of court by throwing choice words at the whole situation...namely "what the f$%^". Yes, she is a professional too, a social worker who works with kids...

Well she states she wanted a 50/50 placement for our child and refused to settle on the GAL recommendation of a shared parenting with me being the custodial parent.

At my attorney's office I was informed that her attorney has now asked that no witnesess been made to testify and that they now want to agree with the GAL recommendations. Talk about being confused. So now it has been agreed that me, my ex and the GAL will be the only ones to testify in court on Monday. As for agreeing to the GAL recommendations, they want exactly what he wants now but I had requested a slight change for the benefit of my son due to his condition. I do have proof and witnesses to back up my change of recommendations but my attorney reassured me that eventhough there are 2 shared parenting plans submitted, the are going to push for mine.

The next big issues for today is child suport. My attorney requested it and now of course her attorney feels there shoud be now.  We requested child support due to the medical, day-care, and lving expenses I have been paying since my son was born. Yes, his mother carries insurance but I had to get my son seconday assitance on medical to cover the expensive therapy bills each month. I am told that my ex feels this is a wash since I do not pay anything and she does..

So, I have much to anticipate on Monday as I am beginning to smell a rat. My attorney feels we will get custody due to the GAL and Psychologist being on our side in their reports. I do not know anymore and I still beileive there is somthing up.