Messages

The original PP is in Benton County.  After it was filed we all moved to Spokane County.  CP moved back to Benton County 2 years ago (with 1 day notice).  Can I file this in Spokane County?  Do you think we are wasting our time with this?  It may seem trivial in the grand scheme of things, but we haven't been able to plan for our time in the last 5 years until the last minute.

Also, is this something we can do on our own or should we hire an attorney to handle this?  If we hire an attorney, how likely is it we will be able to recover court/attorney costs?

Thank you!

The letter we sent with the check stated that the form needed to be signed, notarized & returned by May 31, 2005 or else we would be forced to go to court to get it signed.  We also said in the same letter we would request court costs, attorneys fees, etc. if we have to go to court.

You stated we need to file a motion to modify parenting time.  Sorry to be so ignorant on this, but how do we go about doing that?  Thanks again!

Dear Soc,

We sent her the check & a letter stating locations that notarize documents in her city. She was given a final deadline of 5/31/05 to return the form & we also included a SASE so it would be no cost to her.  I cc'd her attorney the letter as well.

She received the letter on 5/26/05, but has not cashed the check.  It is  obvious that she doesn't intend to sign the letter.  I can assure you she is being difficult because we want to take him on a vacation.  The mediation agreement is signed by both parties & says:

"2. Tentatively for 2005 Summer Vacation, FATHER will have CHILD for 5 weeks starting July 22 at 6 pm and returning August 26 at 6 pm. (alternating weekend visits remain as scheduled for MOTHER).

MOTHER will review document Authorize Out of Country Travel for CHILD by May 13, 2005.  If no issues, she will sign and five week visitation with FATHER & CHILD will remain as outlined above.

If MOTHER doesn't sign Authorization to Travel for CHILD, then #2 agreement above is null and void."

Q:  Is there any recourse we have to get her to sign this?

Thanks again!

>Also, if you can get the other parent to admit in a recording
>or writing to not having shown up with the child AFTER the
>transfer was to occur, then you don't need any witness,
>because the parent will have witnessed to the contempt
>themselves.

The following weekend June 3-5 would be CP regular weekend.  Last summer she didn't show up for our weekend (without prior agreement).  To save her own behind she came the next weekend without telling us.  She actually drove SS 2-1/2 hours round-trip to the meeting spot.  SS was hurt that "dad didn't pick him up".  We talked to him, without placing blame, and he understands that we have NEVER not picked him up.  We wouldn't knowingly do so & were devistated she put him through that.

Question 7: Would her insistance that we take him on "her" weekend (June 3-5) be an acknowledgement that she did not show up on "my" weekend (May 27-30)?

Question 8: If she pulls the same stunt & we take SS June 3-5 (so SS doesn't go through that again) does that negate the contempt charge?

Thank you!

>>Question 4: Is there a way that I am not thinking of to get
>a
>>disinterested 3rd party involved?
>
>You could ask someone at the pick up point to agree to testify
>that you arrived at time X, that no one else appeared, and
>that you left at time Y. If the pick up point is not within
>your county, then you would likely have to depose the witness
>in their county of residence or employment.
>>
>>Question 5: What exactly can I videotape in our situation?
>
>Anything/anyone visible to the naked eye from a public place.
>
>
>>Question 6: If I am not able to get 3rd party or video, do I
>>have enough?
>
>If you don't have a witness, the you have only your word
>against the other parent. And, I seriously doubt that the
>other parent will agree with your interpretation of the facts.
>This is not clear and convincing evidence, and it is why so
>many people who attempt to prove contempt of custody orders,
>lose their motion. You need an objective witness, or you will
>most likely lose, unless the other parent just decides to
>shoot him/herself in the foot and admit your facts as
>correct.

OK, that makes a lot more sense now.  We meet at a gas station, so maybe I will just ask one of the clerks there.  Plus there is a fast food place next door with a digital readerboard that displays the time.  I can include that in the shot.  One last question:  Does it have to be video or would pictures suffice?

>>Question #3 Do we need to do anything else to document the
>>contempt?
>
>You need clear and convincing evidence that the other parent
>knowingly and with coscious disregard of the court's orders,
>violated those orders. The best evidence is a disinterested
>third party witness who will testify on your behalf. Video
>would be good.

When she initially requested to switch weekends I sent her 2 separate letters (certified & regular mail, cc: her attorney) with an agreement for make-up visitation. She left a message on my answering machine acknowledging she received the second letter. After she refused to agree to make-up, I sent her the Intent to Exercise Visitation letter yesterday & followed up with an e-mail to her attorney.

We live 2-1/2 hours apart & meet in a small city in between.

Question 4: Is there a way that I am not thinking of to get a disinterested 3rd party involved?

Question 5: What exactly can I videotape in our situation?

Question 6: If I am not able to get 3rd party or video, do I have enough?

Thanks again!

Parenting plan & both parties reside in Washington state.  SS is 10.

CP has said she is not going to show up for our visitation this weekend because she has plans. She is not providing make-up time.  It looks like we will be going to court for contempt.  CP said last night she didn't care, her attorney told her to do whatever she wanted to get us to take her to court. She said she will then ask for more child support.

Doesn't seem right.  If she wanted child support recalculated she could easily request that through DSHS & it wouldn't cost her a penny.  I think there is something with the fact of us taking her to court vs. her taking us to court.  Maybe so she can ask for court costs?

CP is obviously hoping that NCP is making more money, than the last time it was evaluated (4 years ago).  But he is not, in fact he was downsized & out of work for over a year.  He was forced to take a lower paying job in March.  Because he continued to pay full support & didn't ask for a reduction CP doesn't know about any of it.  

To cover our bases & avoid a he said-she said case of contempt, we sent her the Notice of Intent to Exercise Visitation (certified & regular mail with a copy to her attorney) letter from this site.  We will show up at the pickup location, get date/time stamped receipt & wait the 45 minutes per our parenting plan before returning home.

Question #1 Will the judge be open to discussing all outstanding issues we have or would s/he only hear the contempt items?

Question #2 What do you make of the child support/court issue?  Any ideas of why they would be trying to get us to take her to court?

Question #3 Do we need to do anything else to document the contempt?

Thanks again!

Thank you both for your responses.  I can't believe I didn't think of that.  It is totally something she would pull.  Thanks again.

Dear Soc,

All parties & parenting plan are in the state of Washington.  We attended mediation 4/30/05 where we presented CP with our plans to travel with SS (age 10) to Mexico this summer, along with a "Consent to Travel" form.  CP refused to sign without her attorney reviewing it first (even though both mediators told her it was routine).

In the signed mediation agreement CP was given until 5/13/05 to review, sign & return the document.  Failure to do so made summer 2005 visitation dates "null & void".  That clause was added because we figured if CP refused to sign & we had to go to court over it, we would also address the summer visitation blocks (PP states "5 weeks consecutive", CP won't break up unless it is at her request) and get the dates we originally wanted.

Since then CP has had several excuses of why she couldn't sign.  First because the form was for the entire month of August (to provide some flexibility in travel plans).  So we updated the form to cover our exact 5 week block.  We handed that form to CP in person on 5/13/05 when we picked up SS for the weekend.  She refused to sign it because she was "busy" & had to "be somewhere".  CP didn't have it signed on 5/15/05 when we dropped SS off either.

Last week we sent a written request to CP & CP attorney extending a final deadline for the form to be returned (5/20/05).  Again that date has came & went without signature.  CP left a phone message on 5/21/05 stating she wasn't going to pay to have it notarized.

CP had opportunities to have it notarized on 4/30, 5/13 & 5/15 when I brought my notary stamp with me.  We do not live in the same town so I am not able to notarize anything until the next time we see her.  Her waiting has already cost us one airline reservation hold.  The next is set to expire 5/27.  If we do not book by then we will incur a significantly increased cost.  We are not comfortable accepting a verbal agreement that she will sign because her history shows she will not follow through.

Question 1:  Do I just send CP the money to get it notarized?  I don't mind paying for it, but I am not confident that she will actually follow through.

Question 2:  Is there a way to go to court to get this signed?  We have never been late or kept SS longer the parenting plan dictates.

Question 2a:  If yes, how do we get this into court.  We don't necessarily want to hire a lawyer for something like this.  I can't believe a judge wouldn't make her sign it.

I know we could go on vacation elsewhere, but I don't think we should have to change our vacation plans because CP is being difficult.  It is almost June & we can't even make plans.  Thanks for your help!

Dear Socrateaser,

Our case is in Washington where we both reside.  We are in the process of revising our parenting plan, but the current plan states "parties shall split mediation costs 50/50". Since CP moved 140 miles away we have attempted to alternate mediation between our two cities. There are no mediation facilities available anywhere between.

CP is reluctant to come to my city because it is inconvenient for her & will just not show up. Yesterday CP initiated mediation regarding Summer Visitation in her city even though the last mediation was also held in her city. CP interferes with Summer Visitation every year, so attending mediation will be in everyone's best interest.

I am not trying to be difficult, but I think that 50/50 costs should apply to travel costs as well.  If we were in fact alternating between cities the costs would even out, but that isn't happening.  It will cost $50, not including travel time & wear/tear to my vehicle. Additionally I do not want to set a precedent of only attending mediation in her city.

Question:

1. Can I stipulate to mediation center I will only attend mediation there if CP pays for 50% of my travel expenses ($.35/mile)?

2. If CP refuses what right do I have to insist then that she attend mediation in my city?

3. If I give in & attend mediation in her city without splitting travel expenses set a precedent that ALL future mediation be held in her city?

Thanks for your help!

rltfox