Messages

How young is too young for a cell phone? The only phone CP has is a cell phone, so all calls to son have to go through her. 99.9% of the time she doesn't answer the phone, although everytime we see her she has it on her. Things that make you go hmmmmm . . .

Anyway, the majority of the messages we leave are not given to son. We know because we have asked him "Did you get our messages?" We left a message on Wednesday asking for son to call back ASAP because it was important we talk to him that night (summer camp issue), but we still haven't heard back 5 days later.

So we are *considering* purchasing a cell phone for son. We had previously decided he should be 13 before we would get him one. But we are so sick of not being able to have direct access to him that we are thinking about getting one of those kid cell phones. The cost is relatively low & can share minutes with our current plan. The phones can only call 4 phone numbers preset by the parent & also 911.

He is very responsible & will take good care of it. We are more worried about the phone or charger mysteriously vanishing. We are also struggling with going back on our decision of waiting until he's 13. So any thoughts you have would be appreciated.  Thank you!

junglechicken, you have btdt!  But don't be confused, our CP doesn't own a home/trailer/apartment either. She also lives with her mother!

Our case is in Washington state. We just found out that CP has been taking SS(10) to stay the night at her new boyfriend's house. Apparently it is happening quite frequently, enough so that they have set up his own "room" there.

We don't necessarily have a problem with her possibly settling down with this guy. The problem we do have is CP's relationship history. In the past 5 years she has had several boyfriends, none of which have lasted. This same time last year she had a different boyfriend living with her & SS in her mother's 3 bedroom mobile home. That boyfriend only moved out last February.

We just really hate for the cycle of instability to continue.  CP & SS have been living in her mother's trailer for the past 3 years. It isn't the greatest situation, but if it doesn't work out with this boyfriend they will be right back there.

CP moved 2-1/2 hours away from us 4 years ago with 1 day's notice. Since we are no longer in the same town it doesn't seem like a judge would be likely to change the custody over this issue. Are our hands pretty much tied? Is the CP required to let us know if SS is spending a significant number of nights at the boyfriend's (but not moved in)?

It never fails.  She refused to sign the letter.  Even with both mediators telling her it is standard procedure & required for entry to/from the US.  AND if she ever wanted to travel abroad with him she would be required to have the same document.

She is *supposed* to be having her attorney review it & has until 5/13 to return it.  Nevermind that our reservation hold expires 5/6!  Her official excuse for not signing it is because she is "not comfortable".  Ugh!  We have never been more than 15 minutes late to drop son off or not brought him back.

If she still refuses to sign is the only recourse we have to go to court?

Thanks for all the help.  Given the mother's history of interference, being stuck in Mexico might not be such a bad thing (j/k).  DH is going to call the mediation center tomorrow & see if they have a notary on-site.  If not, I am a notary.  I wonder if that would work or if it would seem too prejudicial?

- Leigh

Kitty, Thanks!  I downloaded the form to have her sign if we go the passport route, but I just am unsure if we really *need* to get one.  On that issue I may just call the airline to double check.

Any ideas on the "permission slip"?

We are going to mediation this Saturday (4/30) to work out the summer vacation schedule.  We are planning on taking a vacation to Mexico.  While at mediation we would like to get the mother to sign a "permission slip" for the trip.  I could easily type up something stating she gives permission for father to take son to Mexico from ____ to ____ & get it notarized.  Will that work?  I would hate to get to the airport & not be allowed to board.  I tried finding a form on this site, but couldn't find anything.

Also for anyone who has traveled to Mexico with a child, is a certified copy of the birth certificate sufficient?  The airline's website states that is enough.  We are considering a passport, but are not sure if it is worth the extra expense.

Thanks in advance!

Brought to my attention by Glenn Sacks newsletter:

http://ansa.it/main/notizie/awnplus/english/news/2006-01-25_621383.html

I don't know how great your distance is, but if you can still go for joint custody. The mother have the child during the school year with you taking visitation every other weekend/holidays/etc and the child resides with you in the summer with the mother getting eow/holidays/etc. Or vice versa.  Joint custody doesn't necessarily mean back & forth every week.  Good luck.

Has anyone ever taken their child/stepchild to a PAS Evaluator? It is becoming quite apparent that we are dealing with a CP who is guilting & manipulating the child into submission. Basically the child is made to feel guilty by going against CP or for loving NCP.

We may/may not use this for court purposes, but the main focus right now is how to deal with it & help the child to deal with it.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Are we able to take him to an evaluator without the CP's permission? Also, how do you find someone who deals with PAS-type cases? Thanks for any input!