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Messages - Justabovewater

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Custody Issues / When is the right time?
« on: Apr 22, 2014, 12:58:17 PM »
When is the right time to go back for Custody? People always say wait and see what happens or not yet, it hasent been long enough. The Judge will think you are just badgering your Ex.

 Its been two years Since we went to court to get our 50/50 joint custody changed to mom getting them during the school year and dad getting them during the summer. In the past two years, her is mom's track record ( I will try to keep it short.) She has had 5 jobs in the past 2 years. She moved the kids to the town she lives now, Got married, 12 months later got divorced. Moved out into a smaller house. Youngest sleeps with mom at age 8 because its a two bedroom. She has introduced the children to thier 4 step brothers and sisters, and has taken them away. She is now planing on getting a job in another town and moving them again. I had to put a PFA on her Ex to protect the children after she left. The Judge denied the PFA after she said she would put one on him after he denied mine.  The children are suffering in school, I know they can get much better grades, but she will not get them help.

ok, Now, here is my Track recored.  I have the same job, the same house, the same cars, the same wife, the same step children. We did get a new dog. Nothing has changed. I am much more stable than she is which is much better living conditions for the kids.

Should I still wait?

Father's Issues / Re: How to begin the process
« on: Mar 13, 2014, 10:49:56 AM »
Even now, Before you do anything, Document..Document..Document. Judges like to see Documentation. Make you a folder, Keep Text Messages, Emails and any conversations that you might have written down. I would encourage you to try to communicate through Text of Email rather than the phone. Do not assume anything. What she agrees with you on the Phone, She may not agree with you in Court. Once she talks to her Lawyer, she may change all her plans that she was discussing with you. As Ocean stated, I would get a Lawyer, A good lawyer, and get them aware of the situation now. They can also give you good advise on what you should and should not do. Remember in the end, Its all about what is best for your child.

Father's Issues / Re: Getting Temporary Custody
« on: Jan 31, 2014, 06:54:48 AM »
It does say that he cannot be where they work, live or have a routine of going on a daily bases. I ask the Judge and he said that does include school and school functions. I was a little upset that he was not arrested at the wrestling meet, but his kids were there also and none of this is their fault. The next time it happens I will cause  abig enough stink over it, he will be arrested. Yes, she can be held in contempt if she allows him around the children. From what I am getting, anyone can. If his parents have the kids and he goes over to visit, His parents can be held in contempt. The sad thing is he lives in a small town, he grew up with most of the law enforcement, the officer that asked him to move had a child in the wrestling meet also.

My Lawyer does have a copy of the text messages, she cannot deny admitting that he abused the children. I have her admitting it in several messages.

Father's Issues / Re: Getting Temporary Custody
« on: Jan 30, 2014, 08:05:43 AM »
I agree, I do need the school and law enforcement on my side. They have all seemed to be very helpful. I have learned my lesson about how far and just how much the courts consider what is right and what is wrong. There is no common sense to law whatsoever. I am past the piss off stage. Im just more concerned about the Kids now. I would never put the kids on the stand, I think I do have enough text messages from her admitting that she left becasue the kids were in dager of abuse, but I guess we will see. In the end, I know and I can tell my kids, I did everything in my power to protect you.

Father's Issues / Getting Temporary Custody
« on: Jan 29, 2014, 02:52:32 PM »
This is a bit long, I know, IM sorry.

My Ex-Wife and I had 50/50 Custody with our children,  She decided to get remairried and went back to court so that she could try to get custody and be able to move the kids 70 miles away. She was granted Physical Custody with Joint Custody. 5 days ago its my weekend to pick the kids up. I get a text from her wanting to know if I will pick them up at a diffrent address.

I agree so I drive to the address and her mom is standing outside. My Ex comes out and says that she has moved out of her husbands house and is divorcing him. Why I ask. She said he was verbally abuseing the children and abusively threatning to physically abuse them. So I just say ok and get in the truck with the kids and take them home. I am remarried also, We have both been remarried for a little over a year. I have the same house and the same job that I had when I lost physical custody of the kids.

Nothing has changed except we got a Dog. Anyway, I get the kids home and ask them what has been happening over there. They start to tell me all these things that the husband has been threating them with, its stupid things. Things like if you dont eat the fat off that meat, I am going to spank you with the meatal end of my belt, and things like this. They said on many accassions he has been statning over them with a belt begging my Ex-wife to let him hit them. I call my Ex and tell her we need to meet to talk.

She agrees so we meet Sunday afternoon while I am dropping the kids off. I ask her what was going on and what do I need to know. She tells me that all that the kids are saying is true and that she is done with him. I ask her if she is ok and my wife now tells her that if she needs any protection or anything we are happy to help and that I do not want my kids around her husband ever again. She agreed that they would not be. I told her that if they are ever around him I will get a protective order put in place. 

Guess what, three hours after our conversation, Guess who is having ice cream with my kids! Are you freaking kidding me?? So Monday morning Im in the courthouse getting a protective order. It is granted and we are set up for court in 14 day. This didnt go over very well with the ex and her husband as I knew it wouldnt, but My kids are a little safer than they were before. Tusday night my kids have a wrestling meet, His kids Wrestle as well so I knew he would be there. I go and sit up at the top of the seats. By this time the principal knows what is going on and he knows a Deputy that is there.

I guess I should let you know that this is a town of about 4000 people. I didnt want to cause any problems for his kids so I sat back and just watched him closely, After a bit he walks over 10 feet from my kids and sits down. The Ex does nothing about it, she just sits there. Finally the deputy goes down and askes the husband to move, he cant sit this close to the kids. Are you kidding me again?? He did it just to see how far he could push it! I have a order of protection against this man. Anyway, the meet is soon over and we leave.

I get home to find videos of my kids wrestling meet on his facebook page. There is also a video of the ex and the husband walking out of the mat togeather laughing and talking. geeeez!!! He just threatned your kids lady!!! So now Im being asked by her to release the protection order, her reason, Its affecting too many people. Ummmm, yeah, But OUR kids are safer. Now for the question.

How far does one go before the courts see that the kids are not safe here. How far does this have to go before I can file for Temporary custody and get my kids to a safe home with stability. She has had 5 jobs in the last year and this is the third time she has moved. Im worried that a court will tell me I am over reacting, but when it comes to kids, can you over react?

Father's Issues / Parenting rights
« on: Feb 07, 2013, 09:26:01 AM »
It has been 6 months since the court has ordered Joint Custody with my EX as the residential custody parent. I have been keeping a log day to day the contact that we have had. She has made many decisions about the kids without talking to me. From my understanding what my Attorney has told me, she is supposed to visit with me about everything except the children’s day to day functions. I have a list as long as my leg of things that she has not communicated to me. Such as, I was told my son is now playing basketball. He is now in Boy scouts. My daughter is in Gymnastics, Dance, and she even wears glasses. I see my kids every other weekend and every weekend there is something new. I have tried to communicate to her that she has to at least ask my opinion of this before she enrolls them in anything and I should know about Dr. appointments so that I might be able to make them. I was even told at my sons Christmas, which my Ex was out of town for, by her New Husband That my Daughter could not sit beside me during the concert.

With them still being in school I don’t want to disrupt their lives right now. Summer is coming and I’m thinking about taking her back to court to try to get custody of them on the grounds that they are interfering with me being a father to my children. My Question is, is it too soon? Will the courts think I am being petty? IF it is too soon, When is it not too soon?

Father's Issues / Re: Relocating
« on: Sep 26, 2012, 03:50:26 PM »
Sorry for the late response. She wasent difficult untill she decided to move and get custody of the children. Now, If I ask her anything her response is "Contact my Lawyer". I dont think she realizes what Residential Custody with Joint Custody really means. If I ask for information involving the kids, she either dosent respond or responds days after.

Custody Issues / Wrong Parenting plan.
« on: Aug 29, 2012, 09:59:08 AM »
The parenting plan that my Ex's lawyer submitted was her parening plan. The judge said that we will use his standard parenting plan. Also, the child support is figured wrong. My lawyer is out of town for a week. My question is, Before the parenting plan is entered do I or my lawyer have to sign off on it and how long do we have to sign off on it?

Father's Issues / Re: Relocating
« on: Aug 27, 2012, 01:28:10 PM »
Contempt of court after a week, can I file? After going to court last Monday, It was my weekend to get the kids. I went friday and picked then up and had them all weekend. I text my ex on sunday and exsplained that she was a month late on money that she was ordered to pay me when we were divorced. I wasnted to know if she could bring it to me when she came to get the kids. She flew off the handle. She said that she is the residential custody parent and it wasent her responsiblility to come get the kids. I told her it stated in the new court order that the recieving parent is responsible for picking the kids up and travel exspenses. She said I was wrong and that I had to have them at her house on time. I text her back and said I wont argue, I will bring them and I will let my lawyer handle it. I looked at the court order this morning and I was right. My Question is, Is it too soon to file contempt of court on her. Will the court look at it like im being petty? Is it too soon?

Father's Issues / Re: Relocating
« on: Aug 21, 2012, 12:19:22 PM »
She moved about 60 miles away. I recieved the standard Parenting schedule. I get them every other weekend and most of the summer. I am going to try to stay as involed as I can, but I never get any information from her about what is going on or have any say in what they do. I think the courts just try to make you feel warm and fuzzy when they say you have joint custody when in reality, If the other parent is letting you help make decisions, there isent really much you can do about it without costing you thousands of dollars with them still just getting a slap on the hand.

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