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Is this enough to modify the order?

Started by dadinma, May 02, 2007, 09:01:33 AM

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dadinma

Our current visitation order went into effect on 2/2/07.  I was to have visitation every 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekend from 4:30pm Friday to 8pm Saturday.  I was also supposed to have court ordered phone calls every Tuesday and Thursday.

Less than one month later, mother refused to allow the phone calls.  she said she had a new job and the kids are no longer in her care during the evenings.  I took her to court for contempt and the judge ordered her to have the children call me "at night, when they get home" every Tuesday and Thursday.

she has not been doing this.  Instead she has YMCA initiate calls after school.  The environment is very loud and the kids are distracted.  they are pulled away from friends and group activities to make the calls.  the total call between both children is less than 2 minutes.  Sometimes only one of them is available to talk.  these calls are NOT working.

I want to file to modify the visitation order.  I want to discontinue the phone calls and extend my visitation to Sundays.  Is this a big enough change of circumstance now that the phone calls are not working?  Is the judge likely to agree?  Or will he think I am wasting his time by even bringing it up?

notnew

She is still not following the court order. It is contempt.

If you live close enough, why don't you ask to extend your weekends until Sunday at 6:00 PM (early enough to get ready for school the next day), and ask for Wednesday evenings for dinner (times would be like 6 - 8 pm or 5:30 - 7:30 - whatever works best for you).

While I agree that phone contact is important, I have not had the best experience in keeping a phone contact order enforced. The court has found my ex in contempt for denial of phone contact, but the order was only clarified. My contact did improve overall, but the continuity came and went. Now it is non-existent. I am not playing this game anymore.

I call when I want to and leave it at that. My child has called me less then 10 times in the 8 years this has been going on. The likelyhood that someone will actually answer the phone when they dont' know when I'll be calling is much higher then when I call at the scheduled times.

The YMCA should not be getting involved in this matter.

What type of custody has been ordered?

I hope this helps.

williaer

Why are they cutting it off on Saturday? Do you live far apart? I would just keep asking for more time. Why can't they be with you after school- if they are going to be in child care?

Every 6 months or so- I would try to up my time....but that's just me..not legal advice. Maybe it would annoy the court if you went back that many times.

backwardsbike

The court refused to order phone contact for me.  CP said it would "tie him down too much" if he had to have the children available for phone contact and the judge went with it.

How far do you live away from the kids?  My first thought would be to show up at the YMCA and spend some of that time with the kids if possible.  

I would ask for more time too.  But if your order just went into effect this past February- it might not be possbile to midfy this soon.

None of this is legal advice.  I wish you the best of luck. Ihave lost my children to PAS. In hindsight I know that daily contact of some kind is vitally important.

mistoffolees

My gut says that you're not going to be able to get a change in visitation on this basis.

I would, however, file for contempt against her. In this case, since the court has specifically ordered her to have the children call you at night, she would need to provide phone records to prove that she's not in contempt (you might have to subpoena her phone records - both home and cell phone records).

She will, of course, argue that she arranged for the phone calls to occur (from the YMCA) and that fulfills the spirit of the court ruling.

It's anyone's guess how it will work out. If I had to place odds, my guess is that the most likely outcome would be that the judge would tell her 'don't disobey me again - have the kids call their father from your house when they get home or I'll find you in contempt' and she'll get off with a warning.

There is a possible downside. The judge could look at you and say "she's having the kids call every night - why are you making an issue of where they call from?" and you could alienate the judge.

That is, of course, only a guess and not a legal opinion. Only you can say if it's worth giving it a try.