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Started by I cry_ in_the_dark, Jan 16, 2005, 12:26:56 PM

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wendl

Go pick her up it your ex won't. Your daughter will remember they you were the one that came and got her no matter what the weather was.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

I cry_ in_the_dark

Right.......THIS TIME!!!

I told her this would not be a habit, and she understands that.

HE wanted custody, then why shouldn't he get to do all the goodies that I did for the last 5 years all by myself?


Nope, it's not my weekend.

I cry_ in_the_dark

There was no question.

Heading states...comments.

So...I go pick her up and he has me arrested for what...kidnapping? Who knows?

That's my X for ya. I drafted a letter to him tonite:

This is to advise you that if in the future I should be required to pick up the children from activities during your periods of custody, I must have a personal request from you prior to the occasion.

Should I not have a request from you, I will deliver the children to my home and contact the proper authorities.

How's that for letting him shirk his duties?

MixedBag

Why?  We all know that you don't want to make it a habit on his weekends.

We all know that he's being .....

But what's more important is that your daughter knows you'll be there and over time, this will totally work against dad and to your advantage.

I'd be saying the same thing if the daughter was calling Dad to pick her up on Mom's weekend.

Stupid move on the CP's part.....take advantage.

Sunshine1

See, I joined/frequent this board because then I can see the other side of things.  Really?  Would he have you arrested?

Ok, if it were me the letter is crazy, but I don't know your ex.  I would pick her up because that is what we always have to do. Pick up the slack for the CP/NCP constantly.  Custody is always temporary, the more you are involved the better it is for you.

Yes, he wanted custody and he SHOULD have all the fun of doing everything on his own but that isn't right either.  Man I wish you were my BM or in my case the BF, we would get along famously.  I would kill for him to pick the kids up or be willing to do so.  I am in your boat only reversed.  Unless he can have his wife around he wants nothing to do with the kids.  I am on the verge of losing it!

Anyway this isn't about me.  I would seize this opportunity and go and get her..she will remember that you do all these things for her.

catherine

1) why is daughter asking the day of, to go.  That doesn't leave planning for anyone.

2) "oh good gawd, he has 4w drive" isn't being exactly nice about the other parent, regardless of how they treat you or talk about you, you have a duty to be the better person too!

Not trying to be unpopular with you or make you upset, just observing the conversation.

So, did she go, and did you pick her up?

I cry_ in_the_dark

I never have a clue what that man is going to do.

Yes, he does some really idiotic things. Like when it was still joint custody, he repeatedly brought my girl home days early week after week, and then pressed contempt charges on me! (Yes, he was laughed out of court.)

Then last Christmas, he showed up at my home 2 days early to take the kids, and then called the police on me! (Yes, they told him to go on home.)

So I have to keep on my toes and stay one step ahead.

Lets see...I should go out at 10 at night to pick up a child from an activity so dad can sleep...but...I am not allowed to pick up my son from school on my visitation days so it "doesn't disrupt his schedule", and lose an hour and a half of visitation? Don't you think this is all just a little bit BS?

I cry_ in_the_dark

I have no control over when my daughter asks her dad to do things in that house.  Maybe because it's an every Sunday night occurance? I know that I always have plenty of notice for events that she wishes to attend while with me.

I live in town. I have to be to work at 11 at night. He lives on the outside of town, on a road that is not maintained. I'm sorry, but making me the heavy on whether or not she gets to go to a dance because he wants to be an idiot is not a game I'm going to play.

Yes, she went and yes, I picked her up. And yes, I was almost late for work. And yes, he was too dayum lazy to get up and acknowledge her arrival home or wish her goodnite.

catherine

so he was playing a manipulation game with you.  I'd manipulate him right on back.  "Sure, I'll drive you there, if your Dad picks you up!"

FLMom

You SOOOO got played.

Let me tell you about my New Year's Eve this past year.

OD wanted to spend the afternoon and early evening at her boyfriend's house, which is near my ex's home--about a 40 minute drive away. Plans originally were that ex would come by and pick up YD and DS, but due to my flu bug the "nightlife" was out. I talked to him and told him that I would keep the younger two, since he was just going to drop them off at 7 am on New Years Day anyhow--he had plans that day.

JUST finished a wonderful meal in a nice resteraunt with my DH and the two younger ones. My cell phone rings--it's about 11pm. Seems that now that my ex is off the hook with the two younger ones, he took his wife out. OD calls his cell, and he says he'll go get her---until stepmom has a fit. He then tells her "call your mother". MY husband didn't hesitate--"Let's go get her."

I spent the stroke of midnight on the way back from the boondocks.

Yes, daughter know she can depend on us. But she used us because she hadn't worked out all the arrangements with ex and knew I'd do what I had to do to make sure she got home.

Ex wormed his way out of his responsibilities, even though he's the CP and the boyfriend's house is around the corner from his house.

What did I learn? Next time I'll leave my cell at home and take a bunch of DayQuil and go out dancing anyway.

You have to let yourself be walked on. I would go to the ends of the earth for my daughter, but her father should also. Next time when she pulls the last minute plans on her father's time it'll be her father's responsibility to live up to her irresponsibility.

FLMom