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Long time, no win ...

Started by mjhdad, Jan 04, 2005, 11:21:21 AM

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mjhdad

HELLO GANG !!!

i've been away for a long time, because there was no movement in my case and i just couldn't take rehashing it over and over while it got dragged on with no win and no loss.

the point is that for the last 2 yrs and 10 months, i've been to hell and back and back to hell again ... over a simple agreement btwn the ex and i that she renigged on following up in court.

the last 6 mos has broken this guy completely ... financially, emotionally, spiritually and any other way i can think of.
broker than broke, depressed and paralyzed by the indecision and inactivity ...

long story short, i walked out of court this morning, with the first smile on my face that i recall being genuine, in almost 3 yrs !!!

there were three possibilities that could occur today and i got 99.5 % of what i expected
(getting hosed for 40k in college expenses was dismissed last mo)
but, i could have been hosed for an extra 5-10k in arrears
or i could have gotten a win and some financial relief
or i could get a clean slate and start over at zero

I GOT A ZERO CLEAN SLATE !!!
close to 6000 in arrears were obliterated !
and a reasonable support order was entered for my remaining child

the support was $5 a week more than i figured, that was the .5% that i claim as a non-win

there could never be enough relief to cover what i've lost ...
but, for today it was a HUGE win

I just wanted you all to know ... because this site made it possible !
of course, it's not really the site, but the people who make it what it is ...
starting with WAYLON, all the way down to the trolls ...

you are all SPARC SUPERHEROES ...  in my book
and i can't belive this is bringing me to tears to write this right now,
i guess that's because i can feel each one of you in my heart !

THANK GOD IT"S OVER !
and my kids and I thank you from the bottom of my heart

my best wishes for you all as you continue your struggles, and i ask the same from you, cuz we all know the fat lady don't sing until the last one turns !8 !!!

Troubledmom

Way to go MJ!

It is good to hear from you and to hear that after everything you have gone through you finally got a win.

Great start to 2005! Hope the rest of the year goes just as well for you dear friend :-)

TM

joni


What a HUGE burden lifted!  Wishing you and your family all the best in 2005, what a great way to start out the New Year.

How did you get the arrearage forgiven?  Refresh our memories with the details.

Davy

..and here's hoping you keep the genuine smile as you go forward.

It is great to hear from ya and what's going on in your part of the world!

If you get a chance sometime .. I would love to know if you think social policies and attitudes towards fathers and children are changing 'up there'.

wendl

Hey MJ,
Its so nice to see you again, I haven't been around much either, but I miss talking with ya

Glad you wer able to get more than excepted.

Email me and keep in touch.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

Peanutsdad

MJ!!


I'm glad things went well for you ;)

patton

Way to go MJ, I guess patience is a virtue after all!

kiddosmom

MJ!!

That is wonderful news! I am so glad for you. Best wishes for you and your childrren :)


determined

Congratulations!

I've also been away a lot, but I fully understand how devastating the delays and ambushes can be.  Glad to see you coming out the other side.

c_alexander

I don't know that I have done anything to help, but this troll is glad to hear that the Hell you have been through is over.  I bet you forgot how good it felt to smile huh?

I wish you and your children the best for the future. Take care !

SLYarnell

Yes we do indeed miss you MJ... it isnt the same without the "ole gang" hanging out supporting each other.  Maybe we can all find a good time to get together.

This is indeed very good news and most certainly a win for the good guy.

Keep on, we know you have it in you, there was never a doubt in my mind.

Shellie

Davy

Hey there SLY ... I'm jealous after seeing you hit on Mjh that way !!

 
You're going to have a fight on your hands from TM, grannie, and probably  Wendl and besides I have the prettiest smile !!

davy

mjhdad

Thanks TM !

as always, i could count on you to be there first !

thanks for being my better half (of brain matter) thru all this ...

and i wish you continued happiness with your all your loved ones !

MJ  

mjhdad

Hi joni,

thanks neighbor !

HUGE is definitely in the description, burden is a good start, but can't even come close ...

i'll add my own reply to explain arrears to all

I wish the same for you and yours, joni, thanks again for being a good neighbor

MJ

wendl

LMAO @ Davy, I have my DH, I just miss the whole gang.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

mjhdad

when this started, i was 7500 in arrears, all of which accumulated as a result of support being over guidelines or fraudulent claims by ex

but, i was current in support , so ex could not use state to come after me, and i had already been convicted of contempt on those arrears and purged, so they couldn't anyway ...
the ex refused to comply with agreement to end support while i had one child, she had the other
meanwhile, i had to use that support money to have a 2nd residence to keep daughter in school district, (ex picks up and moves 20 mi when kids are 7th and 10th grades, without notice to me or kids) cuz i wouldn't sell house and move with ex threatening to remove daughter and on and on ...
the ex then waited for arrears to accumulate (up over 10K where state can make a fed case out of it)
she managed to have 2000 taken from my bank acct, which i fought too get back and lost ...
so as far as i was concerned, i was down to 5500 in arrears
later in court, support was abated for the time daughter was with me and ordered retro back to the date when it was 7500 ...
when the clerk got a hold of it they decided to do an audit and added 500-1000 as of date of order 8-1-02 and then refused to acknowledge order of 8-8-02 which set the arrears at 7500
not sure what their number was that will be deleted but it was that 5500 plus what they added

my justification to the judge for arrears was that to support my daughter cost 3 times that ... on behalf of the ex who still had custody ...
and besides that, if i had been able to pay arrears schedule thru this ... it would have been paid off last month
that was it, all verbal, no motion, no written request, just fell under other releif as court sees fit, i guess

of course, it took a year of an atty and no show and contempt on ex's part for a yr, before i could get her crap dismissed and get my time in front of judge, of course, after a year of pro-se work, that preceded the year with the atty

... don't get me started on atty's ....

mjhdad

thanks Davy !

guess what, it is genuine, but it comes and goes ...

but it is getting familiar, as a few positive things have come forward now,

as that burden is released, i love the way that works !!!

as far as social attitude, i see glimpses of somethings being done right, but i don't see it as change in society or public ... yet

great to hear from you and YOUR part of the world !

thx again, MJ

mjhdad

hi wen,

always the busy one !   keep em on their toes TIGER !

i'll drop ya a note some time, would like to know how life in montana is treatin ya's ...

MJ

is jake keeping his arm in shape with snowballs ?

mjhdad

thanks PD,

i couldn't have made it over some of those bumps without you there, guy !

i'll never forget your can-do/kick-ass attitude !!!

MJ   (kisses for peanut)

mjhdad

thanks patton,

you were always a steady guide ... one to recognize the virtues

after all, it is patience, no wonder it takes a while to see the good !

MJ

mjhdad

hey kiddos !

thanks for all the hugs and cuddles, the're a big help, and you were right there when i needed em ...

be good to them kiddos ... and oh, u know, what's his name .... ROFL !

MJ

mjhdad

hi det,

as devastating as it is, it is amazing that all it takes is one forward oppurtunity to allow all that stuff to remain in the past, where it can become weightless

ooooooohhh ... deep thoughts by MJ !   i'm on a roll here

great to hear from ya patton, thanks again !

MJ

mjhdad

c alexander,

thanks for the reply, that's what makes this site work, just another soul out there that cares ...

and i'm guessing you can relate to the hell part of it ...

here's hoping the new year brings some relief to you as well !

btw, totally forgot how it felt to smile, but, it's like riding a bike, comes back to ya real easy !

MJ

mjhdad

hi SLY !

always great to hear from you !

you were a shining star to me ...

i always looked up to you and thought, if SLY can do all that, surely i can take my next step or deal with this blow ...

and now, thanks to you and all the others, i believe i have it in me,
(...just a few tiny doubts in my mind, hehe)

i'd love to hear some good news from your end, got any ?

MJ

PS, (re Davy) if i'm getting hit on, you are way slick at it, i didn't see it !

SLYarnell

There will always be the doubts, you just have to make the positives be more than double the doubts and there will be no problem.  If you have a problem with that, well... you know the solution, just come see us for a peptalk!

There is really not much happening on our end, even after host mom and dad ended up divorcing because she threw a knife at him and hit him in the butt, we STILL couldnt convince the judge that dad should have his daughter!  *sigh*  I figure if that wasnt enough that nothing will be.  On the upside over the new year DH got a couple of dads from SD's lips for the first time instead of his first name.  Needless to say it led to quite a blubber fest here... maybe the new year isnt starting out so bad afterall.

The thing the SPARC chat group is best at is making sure that we each  know how important we are to each other.  I hope that never changes!

SLYarnell