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mother doesnt know when to stop

Started by foughtandwon, Jan 12, 2005, 09:36:54 AM

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foughtandwon

yes he is in a base school and also goes to base medical

she hasnt tried anything yet

i will record her next call to my son and ask her for the doctor info again.
that way if she refuses i can catch it on tape.

jilly

The way I was understanding it initially was he had sole physical/sole legal custody.  Once I asked him to clarify what the CO said then it was very clear from the CO that BM could access the school/medical records and take their son to the doctor. BUT...since she has taken their son to see a doctor during her parenting time SHE has the responsibility of giving him that doctor's name and telephone number, which she is refusing to do.  It goes both ways.  

Robityson1

Hey there, I agree with just about everything you have said here and I understand your reasons and worries.  I can't believe all these people that say you should take the high road or whatever.  At the slightest hint of sexual abuse with my son I would want blood.  There is no way I would send my child back there with an ongoing case and even if it all gets cleared up I would have a very hard time trusting them and anyone who disagrees with that obviously does not regard their child as the most important thing in the world.  You say you have tried to be fair and she does not want to work that way.  It's a classic case of women trying to get everything for nothing.  If she is so hurt by the change then she should have thought about that before.  She has had plenty of time to do something about it.    Don't think you're wrong, These people on here think you are just supposed to take it and be ever so gentle and kind with your ex and that is B.S.  As long as you remain open to the right thing which is that the child needs both parents and try to do so then I see nothing wrong with your actions.  If you try to extend your hand to feed a dog (in this case a female dog that we all know the correct terminology as a Bitch) but it trys to bite you everytime, how long are you going to keep trying?  It is time these mothers take responsibility for their actions.

SLYarnell

It DOESNT MATTER if she has sole custody or not.  UNLESS there is a court order SPECIFICALLY stating that the NCP does NOT have a right to school or medical records then FERPA APPLIES!!! REGARDLESS.

My entire point was you were giving false info and continued to give false info even after you were corrected.

SLYarnell

and if he follows your advise he can pretty much kiss his son goodbye!  The system is set up to protect a mother and her child.  Are you aware (and trust me I have done a TON of research on this very subject) that if this is a CPS case and that mother can bring herself to accomplish what CPS has set out for her to do that it is with almost 100% certainty that the mother will have custody of her child returned to her, regardless of what the father has done in the meantime.

Is this right? no of course it isnt but most of the time it is what happens in the real world of our court system!

If he wants any chance at all of keeping his son he better learn quickly how to play the game, because he who plays the game best wins!

jilly

First off...SHE doesn't have sole custody...the Father, foughtandwon, does.

Second off...I KNOW there has to be a CO stating that NCP does or does not have right to records. My DH has joint legal custody in his PP.

From what I'm understanding is, the current CO is SILENT on legal custody and ONLY addresses the issue of custody.  I'm thinking that if the CO is silent on the subject that she wouldn't be able to get access the records.  If that is incorrect, then you're right and I'm wrong! LOL

Robityson1

Let's start off with this, I can tell by you're sloppiness and just plain disrespect for proper grammer that you read my post and got all offended.  I did not offer any advice.  I stated that I understand what he is feeling and then offered my opinions.  If you take a closer look at my post you will also notice that I said as long as he trys to do the right thing which is have BOTH parents then I agree with his actions.  That statement is also opinion.  I have read through these posts and it genuinly seems that this guy cares and IS trying to do the right thing.  I was simply trying to offer a little support instead of bashing him.  I can tell you are a know it all by how you point out your "tons of research" which you discredited yourself by not researching my post again which is a simple paragraph.    I know it is a game and has to be played accordingly like you said it is not right, but sometimes a person needs to know that they are not the only one that realizes this.  A little support can go a long way and hearing the same legal jargon regurgitated over and over again can begin to be despairing as well.  These are human beings posting on here, at least most of them are anyway and they need human responses once in a while.   So go ahead and keep playing lawyer or what ever else helps you sleep through the night.

SLYarnell

stating once again...

Unless there is a court order that states specifically that the NCP CANNOT have access to school or medical records it is the LAW that they are provided by both school and dr. to NCP upon request.

SLYarnell

Its always good to start out with the "I can tell by you're sloppiness and just plain disrespect for proper grammer that you read my post and got all offended. "

whats up with the you're in that sentence??

I can tell by you are sloppiness??

If you cant come up with anything else use the sloppiness and improper grammer routine, it works every time...

foughtandwon

ok the whole CPS/custody case is over for me and my son.
it was kinda of a weird thing where i was charged witht he same stuff she was. fine i got a court appointed lawyer that way. now the mother was given a case plan and she messed it up. i followed up and completed mine before deploying to iraq.
while in iraq she continued to mess up on her case plan and claimed i wasnt the father. upon returning form iraq i took a dna test and was proven to be the father. the mother again kept screwing up her case plan. only after about the 100th time of her messing up i was looked at for custody. it was found that the only reason i wasnt given custody was due to a legal impediment. well after filing more paper work and crap that part was taken care of. it then came down to a custody matter and the courts found it to be in my sons best intrest to be with me.
now the only reason she is still involved with cps is because she still has a daughter in the states custody.
talking to cps the only reason her daughter hasnt been put up for adoption yet is because they know the great grandmother will adopt and that would put the little girl right back in the same place she came from. so i guess they are determined to show her what she is doing wrong and correct it for the little girls best interest.
so all custody matters on me and my son are done(for now anyway i know it will never be done) theis was a a final decsion not a temp custody thing.

now the way i see they only way she could try and get custody back is to. complete her case plan for her daughter. prove her self as a fit mother and then try and take me to court and prove me unfit (or prove it to be in my sons best intrest)

with her extended cps case i find it hard to belive that she would have a chance at all. throw these false reports she has made on top of theat and its really an up hill batlle.

i make sure to allow her contact with my son via phone calls once a week and well visits but thats kinda pending right now

reasonable parenting time leaves it wide open.
i thought  13 days over x mas was reasonable and the 5 weeks in the summer is now looking beyond reasonable.  at the most i will send my son to my dad give her a schedule of when she can pick him up and drop him off. for 2 reasons one to stop her from making more false reports and becasue she always comes up with excuses why she cant drop him by to see my dad.