Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Mar 28, 2024, 05:18:40 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Very bad news

Started by kitten, Jan 02, 2005, 11:17:14 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

kitten

I have moved me and the girls out.  Will and I had a huge blow out new years eve.  He needs to seek help, he is not able to cope and so I thought it best that we live apart so that my girls do not have to witness our struggle.  I now think the anger management might be something he does need, he is very angry.  Understandably so.
This is a very tough decision for me.

We will move in with my father, I don't know where Will is going, he cannot afford the rent by himself.  This is more heartbreak than I ever imagined it could be.  Thank you all for youe help and support, I will check in at times.

Stepmom0418

Oh I am so sorry! This is a hard choice for you I am sure! I hope that all works out! There is more I want to say but cant find the right choice of words to use!

You are in my prayers!

wendl

OH hun, I know how hard this is, and when you are put in a position like this from the actions of the pbfh it is even harder. I know you love Will if you didn't you would not have stayed by his side for so long during all the court crap.

Hopefully Will will see he is self destructing himself and needs to help himself so he can help his children and you.  Have you two tried counseling for all this stuff you two have gone thru lately??  Remember Will is grieving in his own way, and in no way is this an excuse for Will, I think you know in your heart what needs to be done and it seems you are doing it to protect the other children invovled.

Prayers and extra hugs to you, hopefully this will only be temporary.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

MYSONSDAD

Both of you are under a great deal of stress and disappointment. It will take time to get thru the greiving process. You both need space to get thoughts together and I think in the end, it will work out.

You are an incredible strenght for Will. But he might just need space for a time, clear his thoughts.

Counseling is an excellent idea. Anger management is another. If I was in his shoes, I would be mad as hell...

"Children learn what they live"

joni


I'm so sorry to hear this.  My prayers are with you, Will and all the children.

Bolivar

GOOD GOD can I feel your pain.

I know exactly how he feels.  I mean exactly.  The mind starts with thoughts that are harm full to ones self and others who come in contact.  He will probability flip flop between Anger and Depression.

I know Anger and Depression very well.  They are the same emotion and about control.  Here is what I have learned going through my own struggles.
Angers says "I am going to fight to get what I want"
Depression (Disappointment) says "poor me, what's the use I didn't get what I want"

A support group can help one sort through the feelings and get ones thinking back on track to see what can be done.  In my case very little at the present can be done, so I am working on acceptance of my current situation.

God Bless, you are not alone in your pain.

1. Problems are inevitable.  "Being human in this world we will have trouble"
2. Problems are unpredictable.  "Have you ever had a flat tire at a good time?  you cannot plain your troubles"
3. Problems are impartial. "They happen to all human beings"
4. Problems are temporary. "it is something you go through"
5. Problems are purposeful.  "for some reason going through problems builds one character"


What to do?
1. Refuse to be discouraged. - 'Keep the course' ".
2. Do NOT take the problem personally.  "She would be a B*tch to whoever her eX was.  It is not about you, it is about her.  She is a mentally sick."

And remember:
Shadows (fear) always appear bigger than it really is.
Shadows (fear)  can not hurt you.
No shadow (fear)  with out a light.


StPaulieGirl

I am so very sorry for both of you.  Will is dealing with some heavy emotions right now, but I wouldn't mention anger management classes for obvious reasons.

Perhaps grief counseling is more appropriate?  At any rate, if you can find someone trustworthy, seek counseling for yourself.  This has been long and hard for you, too.

Are you in a financial postition to help Will with the rent for a month or two, until he can find a smaller place?  Maybe, within that time frame, you guys could resolve some issues and get back together.  

(((hugs)))

kitten

Our landlord is the best.  He reduced the rent so that Will can finish out the lease and I will get the deposit back.  I'm glad Will does not have to move right now.  He is already hurting so much.  I wish I could be there for him, but he is angry that I left and will only speak to me about house things.  I miss him so much.  I had to do what I thought was best for us and my girls right now.  

StPaulieGirl

At least the landlord is a decent person.  Some of them are horrible.  Will is angry about so many things, that maybe it's better that you two spend some time apart.   Give him some space, and let him know that you want to be with him, which I'm sure you already do.  It is better that the girls don't hear yelling and fighting, however.  I will continue to keep you and Will in my thoughts and prayers.