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Wife trying to take daughter out of state to FL from NJ

Started by goeje, May 17, 2005, 07:11:08 AM

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goeje

My wife is trying to leave NJ to go live with a boyfriend that lives in Florida. We currently have a divorce going on and she has played every game in the book to try and move. My wife got a restraining order on me and she got me to break it twice. The first time we never even stopped talking she was just leading me on I believe, we were going to work out our relationship but as time went on I wanted to know what was going on with our relationship after pressuring her I told her I was going to tell the guy she was seeing in Florida that we were back together, she got very upset and angry and called the police for talking to her. then 4 months later we had our divorce hearing. She didn't like how things went in court as the judge would not let her go to Florida until he heard our case not even on a temporary leave (I asked for a new court date to find a new layer). The same day I also filed a motion with the court to remove the restraining order, once she found out what I had done she called the police and had me break it a second time. I had to go to jail for 3 days now I am facing possibly going to jail for 30 days. My attorney wants to comp a deal and just let her go to Florida but I am not partial to that as I am very close to my daughter we have an amazing relationship. My daughter is 4 years old and we speak on the phone multiple times a day and love every second of it. I get mixed responses about her being able to leave the state. We use to live in Florida a little over a year ago and were only there for a year. We moved back to NJ because of family, all our family resides in NJ on both sides of our family. My wife has no family in Florida just a boyfriend that she cheated on me with. I desperately want to keep my daughter here in NJ were all our family resides so my daughter can see both sides of the family I don't want to take my daughter away from my wife like she want to do to me. I have our divorce coming up next week and just wish i had some additional feedback on what to do. Money has also been a factor as layer fees are destroying me I may not even have enough if we go to trial. I am wondering if I should fight the restraining order or comp a deal with her attorney. I may have a good chance to fight the restraining order as I have taped most of our phone conversation showing she is far from afraid of me as her attorney states in all the letters he writes. I even have one recording that is very threatening from my wife stating she will "Fuckin Destroy me" if I tell the court about our previous sexual involvement. My wife and I had an experimental relationship with other couples while we lived in Florida, Basically got caught up in the wrong crowd, I don't do that any more and neither does she but she still keeps the same friends from Florida including the boyfriend. She denies what we use to do and play innocent. If any one has any feed back please let me know time is getting short.

4honor

Every dollar you spend now will save $20 down the road. If my DH had spent $500 to get his divorce we would have saved $11K getting the parenting plan clarified... still not done.

If she is pulling this crap now, she will continue and it will get worse with the only innocent being your daughter. You are not fighting just for your relationship, but for your child's future.

The judge is not going to care much about the sexual exploitations. Keep to the point that your wife is trying to destroy your relationship with your daughter and that moving will create interference with your relationship. Make it clear thast you do not wish to keep your STBX from moving, but your daughter must not. Your STBX is free to do as she pleases, but in the best interest of your daughter she needs to stay where there is family and a support group already in place.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.

goeje

Thanks for your words of encouragement.  I am defiantly fighting for my daughter and will do all I can to do so.  I and every one around me believe she is not thinking of her daughters best interest and think she is only thinking  what makes her happy,  My wife has stated numerous times if she is happy she can make her daughter happy ( I guess with the new Guy she means), this seems like such a closed minded immature comment, she doesn't even bother to think that maybe her daughters happiness would involve her father, it amazes me to see my wife become so selfish and not thinking what is best for her daughter. It's as if she convinced her self that it's ok to move away from family and most importantly our daughter's father. My wife never was like this before. We moved back form Florida to be close to family and also because the schools systems were so bad there, I can't understand how she has justified it in her self to let that all slide. I just turned 34 and man I just keep learning in this cycle of life. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.