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Need a lot of help and advice

Started by veryworried, Sep 07, 2005, 11:27:08 PM

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veryworried

Ok so here is the story...I slept with a girl who lives in a different state.  I found out a year later that she had a child.  I still talk to her online and she is not sure if it is mine or the guy that she married when she found out she was pregnant.  They are divorced at this point.  The child is almost a year old.  When I ask he to have a paternity test she just says that the child is her problem.  But I would like to know if it is mine or not.  Do I have any legal rights to force a test?  She just sends me pictures and asks me if it looks like me.  I have a hard time with this since I havent seen here since we broke up around the time the conception happend, and im not sure if she really had a child.  None of the pictures she has sent me have her in them at all and when I ask for one she doesnt send it.  I am really confused and need some advice on what I can do.  Any help is appreciated.

CustodyIQ

If the ex-husband is acting as this child's father, I would strongly encourage you to disappear into the sunset and cease talking with this girl.  He's the dad and will be presumed to be the dad by the court.

You don't need the headache in your life that this can create, and you will suffer a tremendous financial hit if you try to pursue anything and you turn out to be the father.

That she'll send you a picture of the child, but not one with her, is very weird.  

That a mother says that a child is "her problem" and you shouldn't worry about it is very weird.

That she got married and divorced, all within a year's time, says nothing good about her.

If she believed that you were the father, and if she wanted you involved in the kid's life, she would have told you about the pregnancy.  At this point, all signs point to ulterior motives on her part.

There is absolutely nothing good that can come from you continuing contact with her.

I strongly suggest that you change your online profile (so she can't chat with you), change your phone number, and change your mailing address.

Move on with your life, and ditch her immediately, never have anything to do with her again.

gipsy

A distantly similar thing happened to me , You have to decide whats right for you , I had the paternity test ordered by the court , And the child is mine , And I wound up taking her to trila for custody  , I did not win But I Have it all straight now , And I have a parenting plan , I know I have done what is righrt for me , You have to decide if you want to be a dad , The legal process seems like a nightmare , But if you take it as a legal process , and get an atty that will just file the paternity order , Then you will know , I am glad I did the right thing for my son , And he is a good little boy and is now  6 years old , I love him absolutely , And he is doing very well , But if you decide to test , Make sure you have It in your mind to carry through , And don't give up , And interview a lot of atty's and read atty selection ,
  The simple answere is yes you have the right to pursue this , I did and was successfull , And It took a lot of stress but looking back , I put in on M yself uneccesarily , Its a lewgal process , and my atty told me all along , I will get a parenting plan and a child support order ,
 Personally I could not leave a child out there and not let Him know he has a DAD that cares ,