advice needed

[nikilax]

DH is supposed to be calling lawyers up today, but I thought some of you here might have some advice that we could use.

DH got a call last night from BM's bf.  Apparently, BM is mistreating SD and has been for the last year and a half.  My guess is that's it's taken this long for bf to finally see the light and reach out to us to see if we can get her out of the house.  I don't have any specifics on the mistreatment as all DH said was that he didn't know it had gotten that bad.

BM hasn't given SD her meds in two weeks.  She's on Strattera.  Her bf also said that SS runs the house.  He tries to discipline him and BM stops him as SS is the "golden" boy and can do no wrong in her mind.

He's planning on kicking her out of his house and keeping his kids with him, but he can't keep DH's two.  He did talk to BM's mom, who is/was threatening to call DHS on her daughter.  

DH gave BM's bf permission to give BM's mom our number and she called within 20 minutes.  She said BM is a "sucky" mother and said that she would back DH on this.

DH, of course, wants his daughter out of that house like yesterday.  He's never had a lawyer, so we're starting from scratch there and not sure if there's anything that can be done at all.

Does anyone have any advice? ideas?

Thanks,

Nik

[wendl]

Oh Nik I am so sorry to hear this. I don't have any words of wisdon, but it will help that BF and bms mother want to help your DH.

Did you post to Soc yet????

Prayers to you hun.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[nikilax]

Well, I know what it's going to come down too, which is what I've told DH all along.  They're not likely to remove SD unless BM is a crack head or the kids are being beat.

DH is going to try going the sneaky route.  He's going to try to get BM to give her up willingly.  I think the plan is actually to work with maternal grandmother to accomplish this goal.

BM's bf is ready to kick her out, but I'm not sure if and when he's going to take that step.

Meanwhile, we have SD this weekend.  DH has taken today off to get things done.  He talked to a lawyer this morning who basically told him the stuff that I had seen here years ago.  Court systems all backed up in the country.  ME is still on the side of BMs.  They're unlikely to want to separate siblings.  School just started a month ago.  blah..blah.....

So now, DH is going to try calling BM to reason with her.  I also gave him the idea of contacting SD's school to see if the school counselor will see her.  I don't think SD has been in counseling since she told one counselor that BM had strangled her and that caused a DHS call.

After Labor Day, when we found out that SD had asked BM if she could come live with us twice and had been denied, DH had called her up to talk about things that the kids might bring up later on.  (a preemptive strike so to speak)  He asked if SD was in counseling and BM told him that SD was on a waiting list.

My thoughts are that SD hasn't been in counseling since the DHS incident and it's probably because DHS would have been called by now if BM had SD in counseling.

Just my thoughts and opinions though......

Nik

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

I'd suggest that you get affadavits from the boyfriend and the maternal grandmother, then go to court with an emergency motion to change custody.

Better than affadavits would be a deposition, but that's more costly.

Ask your attorney.  This is an opportunity to change some things and help the kids.

[msme]

Most courts don't want to accept statements or depositions but they will hear them if you can get them to go to the court with him & present a united front to protect the child.

Good luck & God bless

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!