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Need a laugh?

Started by Brent, Jan 12, 2006, 09:12:53 PM

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Brent

Need a laugh? Highly recommended:

The Death Psychic
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/

I'm going to be "trampled to death by a band of wild pygmies...in lower Manhattan". Woo Hoo! Top that!

key west

***While serving jury duty, an accused murderer overpowers the bailiff and beats you to death with the stenotype machine.***

Last call I got for jury duty was for a murder!  I told the judge and both lawyers that I couldn't be impartial because I had sat in Family Court many times and heard both sides lying their heads off.  I told them I wouldn't believe what I heard.  I have never been called for jury duty again.

4honor

Kicked by a Clydesdale at a horse show because I startle it by bending over to tie my shoe


Talk about show stopping
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.

Sunshine1

BM goes in for a chiroprator appointment and he snaps her neck.........


Buwhahahahahhahhhhhhahhhhhaaaaaaaaa!

I needed that laugh.  Thanks!!

wendl

While taking a leisurely stroll down a country road, a distracted farmer runs you over with his combine, shredding your body into ribbons.



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

wendl

This one isn't mine but--------sure the hell sounds like the truth for this person.

While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

smtotwo

He's an avid hunter and some of the people he hunts with are just plain ignorant    I asked that he not hunt with 2 of them anymore....

       While on a hunting trip, you are "accidently" shot in the face
                  by your friend with a shotgun. Your lifeless (and headless)
                  body falls to the ground with a resounding thud.

CREEPY!!

Sunshine1

Same with ours..BM sees a chiroprator...weird

wysiwyg

While running to your car, you stumble on a curb and your body is thrown violently to the street. Moments later, you are engulfed and mutilated by a street sweeper.

my ex................

melissa3

BM's:
While you're leaning forward to smell a pot of cooking soup, a disgruntled relative shoves your head into the pot and holds it there. Your face is quickly cooked as you choke to death on boiling hot soup.

FDH'S
While walking to your car after visiting a friend in a rather bad part of town, you are caught in the middle of a drive-by shooting. You are hit several times in the chest. You watch as blood pours from your body as you fall to the ground. You die from massive blood loss.

Mine:
While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.

Freaky, my fiance owns and masonry/home repair business and I help him on jobs all the time