Not signing order

[dipper]

Went to court in January.  Ss wanted to live here, but judge said ss was manipulative and he was not going to give ss what he wanted.  We are in Virginia - court is first J & D, then you can appeal to district court before going to state level.  DH wants to appeal, but opposing lawyer has not signed order.

GAL and dh's lawyer signed and sent order on Feb. 6th.  There has been no response from the other side.  We cannot appeal until order is signed by all parties and entered into court record.

Things are going badly.  BM immediately began controlling again - took a weekend of visitation from dh this month.  She is making appointments and letting dh know after she has taken ss.  This after he specifically requested advanced notice.  

She had wanted dh's calls limited to 10 minutes while in court saying that her cell is a company cell and they dont want all these personal calls.  Well, the judge did not order as she requested.  Now, when ss is on the phone, she times him and says SHE is paying the bills.  DH has court ordered rights to talk to ss each evening.  She is placing limits on it herself.

The latest is that they have moved in with her parents.  her brother just moved in there January.    She begged ss not to tell dh.  She has only been current on her rent three times in the past 16 months.   SS says they were evicted.  His grandparents are in another school district but as right now, he is riding bus to his old apt.  and being picked up.

I am waiting to see what is going on as I feel she could have caught up on her rent with her tax money.  She doesnt really have a phone bill - she said herself in court that the company pays for it.  She works for cousins...she doesnt have a car payment.  Her only real bills were rent and utilities.  Her job title is administrative assistant.  Looking in her area, she could find a good paying job.  It seems that she is getting paid very little through the cousins but then she takes off whenever she wants.  

She is wanting to raise child support.  She blames dh for the fact that she cannot pay her bills.  She doubled her rent when she moved to that area, yet she will not get out and find a job to cover it.

Also, she has hired her lawyer to represent ss in criminal matters.  DH told her he was against this as a conflict of interest could arise since he represents her for custody.  She sent dh a letter telling him he has to make the payment this month!

WE feel the order is being stalled for a reason.  I contacted dh's lawyer who has the J&D court on speed dial...LOL...trying to find out when the order is submitted.  But, he has not heard anything from opposing counsel.

[skye]

you dont need to wait you can go to the courthouse and file appeal using the clerk notes...we are in Virginia and have had to do this...twice now...
when is the return date on the Order?

[dipper]

Skye,

We were told by the clerk of court that we cannot appeal until the order is signed by all parties, including the judge and the order is filed.  Then we have 10 days from that time.

lawyer is confusing.  He first told us we had 10 days..so we tried to file and the clerk said we had to wait.  When asking the attorney about this, he said yes, it is 10 days once the order is signed (making it the most recent order).

WE see no return date on order.  We had this problem last year, only we didnt appeal.  But, it took from january to near the end of March to have things signed.  the judge was furious by that time.

WE think she is stalling...perhaps because new order states she has to pay half of all counseling for ss...while in the past it would have been under a 75% copay on dh's part....

[MixedBag]

Just start documenting the new stuff...

and let the judge get mad (again)

And I suggest you consider this thought:

WHEN you appeal an order, you can't submit "motions" for new stuff that she doesn't do according to the order.

SO if you appeal your order, you can't submit anything for the time she just denied in February......

AND if the judge is not pleased with her -- maybe another strike against her is the way to go instead of appealing the order???

A matter of strategy and your attorney will know what's best.

[dipper]

Our case would be de novo - as if the first case never took place.  I am in Virginia and what takes place is that you first go to J & D court..and then if you appeal,  you go to district court and get a new case.  From what I have been told, you are not trying to 'prove' the judge was wrong...you are simply starting over with a clean slate.    I may have misunderstood, but I plan on getting something ready for the lawyer tomorrow.  

I am so fed up. Since she won in January, she is really cocky.  Not only is she limiting dh's calls to ss which is not in the court order, she has asked ss if he wants to go to Florida for his spring break.  now, she cannot afford to pay her rent.  And dh is to have court ordered visitation half of that time, but she is trying to bribe ss into going with her INSTEAD of seeing his dad.  

We sent a letter to her lawyer, GAL, and our lawyer - a copy of what we sent to her this week.   so, they will all be aware that she is taking time and being a real *hit.

Expected a letter from her this week, but I think she had bigger things on her mind such as finding a new place to live.